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  1. #1
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Slap's World Cup contemplations

    This World Cup probably finds me as fickle as the rest of the nation when it comes to speculating England's chances of success.

    Watching the match on Saturday I traversed the usual roller-coaster of emotions. Italy scored - "We're shit. Get stuffed. Turn off the television and rid me of this misery."

    Sturridge equalised - "Definite Golden Boot contender, that young man."

    Balotelli heads in an easy winner - "I'm supporting the Dutch for the rest of the tournament - even if we slaughter Uruguay and pull down Costa Rican pants - I'm supporting the Dutch.

    This is my first WC back on English shores since 2002, and I'm currently watching, with open-mouthed astonishment, as Adrian Chiles presents the Portugal v Germany game with his pundits, Patrick Viera, Fabio Cannavaro, and, wait for it... Lee Dixon. Lee Dixon of 22 caps and one goal fame. How the fuck did Dixon make it to Brazil? You'd expect the likes of Dixon to be managing a Non League team... in the rain... while going through a messy divorce and battling alcohol addiction. How...the...fuck..is DIXON IN BRAZIL?

    Oh well, to the main event...







  2. #2
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    As previously mentioned, I'm going Dutch...




  3. #3
    Thailand Expat Dillinger's Avatar
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    that's Sturridge

  4. #4
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    It's never too latte to turn over hyeleafe Amigo

    Croydon Ladies Who Latte - Home
    https://www.facebook.com/CroydonAthleticLadiesFC

    Put on the bike clips and cleats or strap on anOyster remember cashless bus from the 6th and the whilrl is your Oyster

    Sutton Swingers
    Sutton Dating - Sutton singles - Sutton chat at POF.com™
    Wallington wankers
    Wallington Cricket Club

    cu in the cricketers arms?
    I used to have a job at a calendar factory.
    I got the sack because
    I took a couple of days off.

  5. #5
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger
    that's Sturridge
    They look the same - apart from Raheem prances around the pitch like a little girl.



    Quote Originally Posted by david44
    cu in the cricketers arms?
    I'm there. Has the YD brewed yet?

  6. #6
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    Albert Shagnastier's Avatar
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    Quality Slap - Keep up the good work

  7. #7
    Molecular Mixup
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    I've never seen the streets in England so free of England flags, banners, bunting, union jack bowler hats , blow up sheep etc.
    It's like every fucker simultaneously got tried of the 3rd world overcrowded cesspit - run by governments that hate us - called Britain. And feel disinclined to support a team of over payed fear drenched numpies, run by a manager who looks too much like one of those bored almost dead old men who sit in the bookies all day putting on 20p bets....

    Fast forward to the next game.
    Come on Uruguay !!! shouts most of the country....

    meanwhile the last few England fan to care, sit in horror as Luis suarez scores a hat trick ,,,,


    after this shot, mustard shirt finally saw the light ,and looking towards the next game , became animated, stood on the table and shouted
    COME ON COSTA RICA !

    free at last ....

  8. #8
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blue
    I've never seen the streets in England so free of England flags, banners, bunting, union jack bowler hats , blow up sheep etc.
    On the contrary, I've been surprised with the amount of football paraphernalia about. I thought, as a nation, we may have outgrown such behaviour.

    4-0 Germany as I type. Most efficient.

  9. #9
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    somtamslap's Avatar
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  10. #10
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    I love the colour and celebration of nations that the world cup brings to our screens. Who wants to watch a south amarican player writhing on the ground in faux agony, when there is so much lovely colourful totty in the crowd.
    Those Bazilian babes don't knit themselves you know.
    A chance for all those married BBC pundits to demonstrate their mysogony.
    Heart of Gold and a Knob of butter.

  11. #11
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chassamui
    Those Bazilian babes don't knit themselves you know.
    Pretty disappointed the Paraguayans aren't present.

    Shwing!

  12. #12
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Of course, when I was a lad...

    Players were fat...



    ... they lived in the forest



    ... and some of them were even Scotch


  13. #13
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    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Nowadays however...

    Their farts smell of potpourri and parsley



    You are a girl, Javier. You will never do this, Javier. Because you might mess your hair up, Javier.


  14. #14
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    Fuck me Slap, you are a hero of posters, Love it. Ps hope your going to continue the cycling in LOS. Belgium for the cup ( or Congo ) whatever.

  15. #15
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    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Breny
    Ps hope your going to continue the cycling in LOS.
    Not going back for a while, fella - but already have a Tour de Thailand planned for when I do.

  16. #16
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    Smile Bridge on the Uruguay

    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Of course, when I was a lad...

    Players were fat...



    ... they lived in the forest



    ... and some of them were even Scotch

    I musht disabuse ye jimmy
    Scotch is old sharp beverage Aberlourid etc,the gentleman going commando in the corner in the kilt is a Jock

    Ask him to join the kitty in the whipround for the next round and witnes jock's strap

    Goodluck matey I'll send a big cleenex for the Uruguayan disaster the Pythons have already produced a Montyvideo called The Daft Spey the scuttling of a football team by Scotch Salmon or is that a red Cherry Herring

  17. #17
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    Breny's Avatar
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    ^^ Me too, Im gonna tramp it for a while before i get my shit together, then decide if im gonna apply for a teaching gig or just loaf it with an ED visa. Im drooling at the prospect of pedaling LOS.

  18. #18
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by david44
    Goodluck matey I'll send a big cleenex for the Uruguayan disaster
    Ya Dong shall suffice, young David.



    Quote Originally Posted by Breny
    Im drooling at the prospect of pedaling LOS.
    Aye, north to south via Isaan is on the Siamese cycling agenda.

  19. #19
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    Smile

    Quote Originally Posted by Breny View Post
    ^^ Me too, Im gonna tramp it for a while before i get my shit together, then decide if im gonna apply for a teaching gig or just loaf it with an ED visa. Im drooling at the prospect of pedaling LOS.
    Pack yer shinpads reflective spandex shorts ad beare of the biyches avoid the soi dogs and rabid Fundamental missionaries.
    If you need a large mad orangeman with tannoy 5metres ahead of you with dogcatcher,BB gun ,wok,address of Korean restaurant and lasso I 'm avaiable after world cup free,unlimiyed kilometers I guiness per mile

  20. #20
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    ^ Born again or mormons i shit em. Its the buddists i canny dis -chat them. Guiness on a stick it is then. I want to get lost in the triangle of doom for a good decade, until married then a rickshaw for Breny and clan. Do Ebay sell memories?

  21. #21
    Thailand Expat Dillinger's Avatar
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    How old were you when this came out Slaps ? Do you remember what you were doing at that age ?



  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by david44
    Goodluck matey I'll send a big cleenex for the Uruguayan disaster
    Ya Dong shall suffice, young David.



    Quote Originally Posted by Breny
    Im drooling at the prospect of pedaling LOS.
    Aye, north to south via Isaan is on the Siamese cycling agenda.
    i would suggest south to north slap, and ease yourself in. honestly!

  23. #23
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    Commenting on "that" corner, Wayne Rooney said:
    "I miscalculated the vector and rotational forces with respect to the negative Coriolis effect of being in the southern latitudes which placed differential angles in a manner I had not taken into account in what is, after all, a complex integrated equation"

  24. #24
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by barrylad66
    i would suggest south to north slap
    The beach will be my motivation, bazzer.



    Quote Originally Posted by charleyboy
    Commenting on "that" corner
    I'm not surprised poor old Wayne's been out of sorts. Did you see the amount of suitcases Coleen arrived with? I think she wants to smuggle home some infants from the favelas to clean the pool.

    In the meantime, a certain Mr. Slap basks in his boudoir with an ice old can of strong Polish lager whilst watching the mighty Spaniards take another whipping.

  25. #25
    Thailand Expat Dillinger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    Did you see the amount of suitcases Coleen arrived with?
    errmm..... no

    Do you watch Geordie Shore ?

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