Results 1 to 15 of 15
  1. #1
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    Yesterday @ 05:01 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,606

    Issan/Western Fusion Power Breakfast

    For those in a hurry of a morning and perhaps want to blend an ensemble of Western and North-Eastern Thai fare together, then maybe this is the dish for you.
    As they say, everything's is worth a try once, except inserting one's gentalia into an active hornet's nest of course..

    So, have a look and see, maybe you might be able to stomach this little multicultural breakthrough..

    Firstly, if you don't know what eggs are and look like..let me assist you with this thoroughly descriptive picture..these oval objects come out of a chicken's anus..

    We need three for our dish..



    A brace of dairy products are also required to make up the feast..

    Some Thai-Danish milk..see? always looking to diversify when it comes to the origin of the ingredients..



    And a tub of good ol Flora margarine..



    Add half of the carton of milk and the three eggs to a bowl and beat the living granny out of it with a fork..



    Next we add the Issanic flavours..a pair of naem (fermented pork sausages) and a couple of chilis..





    Chop it all up and add to the beaten egg and milk..



    Add a nob of the Flora to a pan and turn on the gas..



    Put the mixture in and stir, stir like you've never stirred before and for fuck's sake DO NOT STOP for a good five minutes..

    Finally, place mixture on plate, garnish with a sprinkling of oregano, a tomato and a couple of those larb flavoured Pretz things for that extra Issanic tang..



    Make sure to tune in next week when we will be making a somtam and sticky rice baguette..

  2. #2
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    Yesterday @ 05:01 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,606
    Now..as the last dish had you salivating over your computer screens, give this one a try..a somtam sandwich..

    Get a papaya..



    Make some somtum..



    Go to Tesco and buy a crusty french stick..



    Cut in half length ways, apply liberal amounts of butter and load in the papaya salad..

    Toute suite..

  3. #3
    Member
    WilliamBlake's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Last Online
    18-12-2017 @ 05:30 PM
    Location
    Betwixt Orientals, Occidentals & Accidentals
    Posts
    786
    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Go to Tesco and buy a crusty french stick..



    Cut in half length ways, apply liberal amounts of butter and throw out the papaya salad toute suite.
    Aaaah, that's better.

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat
    Pol the Pot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Last Online
    22-02-2012 @ 03:37 PM
    Location
    Phnom Penh
    Posts
    1,643
    Can't green you, sorry!

    Voyage a la toilette, this one and the Thai food thread are exceptional.

    Thanks!

  5. #5
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    Yesterday @ 05:01 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,606
    Quote Originally Posted by Pol the Pot
    Thai food thread
    That's a point..seems to have died a death of late..better get it up and running again.

    Quote Originally Posted by WilliamBlake
    Aaaah, that's better
    Tut tut..

    Come on Will, give it a blast, it might be edible..just think 'salad sandwich'..

  6. #6
    Member
    WilliamBlake's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Last Online
    18-12-2017 @ 05:30 PM
    Location
    Betwixt Orientals, Occidentals & Accidentals
    Posts
    786
    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    Come on Will, give it a blast, it might be edible..just think 'salad sandwich'..
    I've learnt from bitter, bitter experience that the only thing that 'salad' and 'somtum' have in common is that they both need to be tossed.

    I quite like the look of that there scrambled egg thang though.

  7. #7
    Member
    WilliamBlake's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Last Online
    18-12-2017 @ 05:30 PM
    Location
    Betwixt Orientals, Occidentals & Accidentals
    Posts
    786
    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    eggs..these oval objects come out of a chicken's anus..
    Errr, not exactly, but close...

    Once the egg has fully formed, the chicken's uterus begins to contract in an effort to expel it. The egg moves down a vaginal canal towards an external opening known as a vent. The vent is a common opening for both egg laying and waste elimination, but a chicken cannot perform both functions at the same time. An internal flap known as a cloaca keeps the vaginal canal and the intestinal track separate until either an egg or excrement reach the vent. When a chicken is laying an egg, the cloaca descends and blocks the intestinal track.
    We learn something new everyday.

  8. #8
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    Yesterday @ 05:01 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,606
    Quote Originally Posted by WilliamBlake
    I've learnt from bitter, bitter experience that the only thing that 'salad' and 'somtum' have in common is that they both need to be tossed.
    In which case I'd say you've had it prepared for you obviously not to your taste buds' spec..try it without all the filth the locals saturate it in..ie..half a bag on demerera, rotten fish, rotten crabs, 1000 year old shrimp; anything rotten tends to get added to the mortar basically.

    But you can, with a few words of encouragement to the vending wench, have yourself a lush and crispy salad to nibble away at.

    Tis fine fare indeed..




    Quote Originally Posted by WilliamBlake
    known as a vent
    Ok ok, Vent then, they come out of a chicken's vent..

    Doesn't sound as final as anus though..

  9. #9
    Member
    WilliamBlake's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Last Online
    18-12-2017 @ 05:30 PM
    Location
    Betwixt Orientals, Occidentals & Accidentals
    Posts
    786
    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    1000 year old shrimp;
    I had that last night in a kaow pad gung. Even the dog I threw it to wouldn't touch it.

    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    But you can, with a few words of encouragement to the vending wench, have yourself a lush and crispy salad to nibble away at.
    How much Thai do you speak? Pom pood passa Thai nidnoi khup.

    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    Doesn't sound as final as anus though..
    Nothing sounds as final as 'anus'.

  10. #10
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    Yesterday @ 05:01 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,606
    Quote Originally Posted by WilliamBlake
    Pom pood passa Thai nidnoi khup.
    I takes me longer to order the stuff than actually eat it what with the list of shite they have to omit..

    So phonetically it goes something like this:

    Mai sai... (don't add/put in)

    Bpoo - (rooten crab)

    Palaa - (rotten fish)

    Nam darn - (sugar)

    Gung Heang - (1000 year old shrimp)

    Tua - (peanuts, don't like em in a salad)

    Sai prik sam met eng - (just put in 3 chillis, I don't want the dish to cause me to curse you now, young wench)

    Bpen kem - priaw (make it sour and salty)

    Turns out fairly nice after that..

    But obviously, it's all about the individuals pallet, what what..

  11. #11
    Member
    WilliamBlake's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Last Online
    18-12-2017 @ 05:30 PM
    Location
    Betwixt Orientals, Occidentals & Accidentals
    Posts
    786
    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    But obviously, it's all about the individuals pallet, what what..
    Top hole, old sport! I'll have one of the natives whip up something for elevenses.

    Anyone for tennis?

  12. #12
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Last Online
    14-09-2011 @ 11:35 PM
    Posts
    21
    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by WilliamBlake
    I've learnt from bitter, bitter experience that the only thing that 'salad' and 'somtum' have in common is that they both need to be tossed.
    In which case I'd say you've had it prepared for you obviously not to your taste buds' spec..try it without all the filth the locals saturate it in..ie..half a bag on demerera, rotten fish, rotten crabs, 1000 year old shrimp; anything rotten tends to get added to the mortar basically.

    But you can, with a few words of encouragement to the vending wench, have yourself a lush and crispy salad to nibble away at.


    Problem with that is, usually the mortar is so permeated with padaek, its impossible sometimes to get a nice tasty somtam that doesnt taste/smell like somebodies open asshole.... But I agree, when made right, it is a lush and crispy treat

  13. #13
    Thailand Expat
    sabang's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Last Online
    30-07-2019 @ 03:47 AM
    Location
    BackinOz
    Posts
    30,807
    Isaan somtam.

    Thai somtam

    Thus endeth the first lesson.

  14. #14
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    Yesterday @ 05:01 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,606
    Quote Originally Posted by spacemanspiff33
    Problem with that is, usually the mortar is so permeated with padaek, its impossible sometimes to get a nice tasty somtam that doesnt taste/smell like somebodies open asshole....
    They use 2 separate mortars in the place I go to..wouldn't go there if they didn't.

  15. #15
    Pedantic bastard
    nidhogg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    14,667
    Quote Originally Posted by WilliamBlake View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    1000 year old shrimp;
    I had that last night in a kaow pad gung. Even the dog I threw it to wouldn't touch it.

    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    But you can, with a few words of encouragement to the vending wench, have yourself a lush and crispy salad to nibble away at.
    How much Thai do you speak? Pom pood passa Thai nidnoi khup.

    Just order Som Tam Thai.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •