Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 28
  1. #1
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    20-08-2019 @ 04:16 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,608

    Somtamslap - Omelette Maker Extraordinaire

    So to make the perfect omelette we first need to locate some chickens, which down here on the farm is a fairly easy obstacle to negotiate.
    Upon locating the feathered friend, beat it hard in stomach until it parts with a trio of eggs..give the little madam a gentle pat on the crest in thanks then boot the irritating little fucker back into the jungle.

    Eggs procured, they now need cracking and beating with us much vigour as you administered on their intial owner..

    Add a pinch of oregano, a small finger and thumb pinch, into the mixture just to liven it up a touch..



    Next, because our New Year's Resolution clearly states that a loss of weight is required, we purchase a modest block of cheddar, off of which a humble amount is grated..



    Cheese now successfully grated onto the ingredient plate, we now need to forage around for some more flavours to add to the omelette. In a horrendously dense part of the jungle I came across some tomatoes which I had to shimmy up a 50 foot vine to collect..

    I also spotted a wild bore, speared the fucker then chopped half of its arse off..

    The extras were then added to the plate..



    The beaten eggs shall now be placed in a wok (because we don't have a frying pan you see) with just a drizzle of oil..the mixture should then be whirled evenly round the pan..



    Add the modest amount of cheese, foraged vegeatables and pigs arse to the wok..



    Flip one side and allow to cook on a low heat for a few minutes..then flip over again..



    Place on large dish..



    Cut in half to demonstrate the sheer quality of the food..



    Eat it..

    Cooking/Preparation time approx: 12 minutes

    Eating time approx 12 seconds..

    Bon Voyage..

  2. #2
    Mid
    Mid is offline
    Thailand Expat
    Mid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    1,413
    bon appetit

  3. #3
    Sprayed On Member
    The Fresh Prince's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Not in the willage
    Posts
    11,683
    Mange toot Roders!

  4. #4
    Member
    Bettyboo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Last Online
    Yesterday @ 11:47 PM
    Location
    Bangkok
    Posts
    29,787
    That's a nice looking bit of grub.

    But, is it as nice as Granny's omelette?


    Granny's Country Omelette $8.79
    Granny's Country Omelette $8.79 | PERKINS RESTAURANT & BAKERY | Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, Coffee, Dessert, Pies | Idaho Falls, ID

  5. #5
    R.I.P.
    DrB0b's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD
    Posts
    17,158
    ^Good though that looks I doubt it's worth the round-trip airfare from Baan Kwai to Idaho

  6. #6
    Member
    Bettyboo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Last Online
    Yesterday @ 11:47 PM
    Location
    Bangkok
    Posts
    29,787
    Somtamslap has a granny, he could train her up; it'd give them a chance to have some quality time together...

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat
    SEA Traveler's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Last Online
    01-11-2014 @ 09:25 AM
    Location
    Villa Sariano, Phala Beach, Ban Chang, Rayong, Thailand
    Posts
    3,790
    That's a fine looking omelette "slap". I'd call that a mans omelette. Nice thing about omelettes is you can put so many things in it. What evers handy. I like the pinch of oregano. I do that myself.

  8. #8
    Thailand Expat
    SEA Traveler's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Last Online
    01-11-2014 @ 09:25 AM
    Location
    Villa Sariano, Phala Beach, Ban Chang, Rayong, Thailand
    Posts
    3,790
    Quote Originally Posted by Bettyboo View Post

    The home fried pototoes are what's catching my eye.

  9. #9
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    20-08-2019 @ 04:16 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,608
    Quote Originally Posted by Bettyboo
    Somtamslap has a granny
    She's officially been disowned..if old biddies homes existed here she'd be in one..

  10. #10
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
    withnallstoke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Last Online
    17-08-2019 @ 08:29 AM
    Location
    The Felcher Memorial Home.
    Posts
    14,271
    Grannys omelette looks like a rolled up chamois leather with sick on it.

  11. #11
    Member
    Bettyboo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Last Online
    Yesterday @ 11:47 PM
    Location
    Bangkok
    Posts
    29,787
    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke
    Grannys omelette looks like a rolled up chamois leather with sick on it.
    Chicks, ants, responsibilities. ???

  12. #12
    The Cat
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Bettyboo
    But, is it as nice as Granny's omelette?
    Is that a euphemism?

  13. #13
    Member
    Bettyboo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Last Online
    Yesterday @ 11:47 PM
    Location
    Bangkok
    Posts
    29,787
    ^ better ask Somtamslap. He told us that she likes to put it about, and after a few of those Issan whiskies, well, I can see it now (not a pretty image!) - no wonder she throws things at him, the little rascal.

  14. #14
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
    withnallstoke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Last Online
    17-08-2019 @ 08:29 AM
    Location
    The Felcher Memorial Home.
    Posts
    14,271
    Quote Originally Posted by Bettyboo
    Chicks, ants, responsibilities. ???
    Coffee break.

  15. #15
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    20-08-2019 @ 04:16 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,608
    Quote Originally Posted by The Cat
    Is that a euphemism?
    Quote Originally Posted by Bettyboo
    ^ better ask Somtamslap. He told us that she likes to put it about, and after a few of those Issan whiskies, well, I can see it now (not a pretty image!) - no wonder she throws things at him, the little rascal.
    Thanks chaps, there goes the culinary theme of the thread..I've just projectile vomitted all over my computer.

  16. #16
    Member
    Bettyboo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Last Online
    Yesterday @ 11:47 PM
    Location
    Bangkok
    Posts
    29,787
    I live with the missus and her mother; they are similar shapes and sizes, but the missus' mother has short hair whilst the missus has long hair which I like, but she wants an easier maintenance solution. Every time she talks about cutting her hair, I tell her that this might cause a problem if I come home drunk and feeling frisky; maybe I'll bang the wrong one... easily done...

    Upto now, this little scheme has worked well.

    ^ Quick edit to add: not a scheme to shag them both, but to keep the missus' hair long.

    Anyways, Somtamslap, now you're stomach is empty you can make another one of those lovely looking /man's omolette'.

  17. #17
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    20-08-2019 @ 04:16 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,608
    ^ Pizza's next on the menu as it happens.
    Might go for a huge bastard the size of a baking tray just to look that extra bit manly..

  18. #18
    Member
    Bettyboo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Last Online
    Yesterday @ 11:47 PM
    Location
    Bangkok
    Posts
    29,787
    ^ don't forget the pictures.

    You've got the ham and cheese and tomateoes (American), presumably some dough/base too - you're virtually there...

  19. #19
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    20-08-2019 @ 04:16 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,608
    Quote Originally Posted by Bettyboo
    presumably some dough/base
    Got flour, got water, don't have yeast..nil desparandum..I like em crunchy..

  20. #20
    R.I.P.
    DrB0b's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD
    Posts
    17,158
    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    Got flour, got water, don't have yeast
    Just get yourself a 45 year-old bargirl and ask her to give the dough a quick rub with her moneymaker. You'll have sourdough in a couple of seconds.

  21. #21
    Philippine Expat Davis Knowlton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Philippines
    Posts
    17,873
    ^Jesus, Doc; I was eating! Was............

  22. #22
    Thailand Expat
    Marmite the Dog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Last Online
    08-09-2014 @ 10:43 AM
    Location
    Simian Islands
    Posts
    34,827
    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    She's officially been disowned..if old biddies homes existed here she'd be in one..
    Don't you have any klongs where you live?

  23. #23
    Noone here gets out alive
    Mr R Sole's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Last Online
    20-03-2013 @ 03:14 PM
    Location
    The back of beyond..on the bloody PC by the looks of it!!
    Posts
    2,042
    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    .if old biddies homes existed here she'd be in one..
    There is you fooooooooooooool...and here it is...a hole in the ground...

    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke
    Grannys omelette looks like a rolled up chamois leather with sick on it.
    Indeed, merkins om' would give you a stroke for sure....

    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    Got flour, got water, don't have yeast..nil desparandum..I like em crunchy..
    Yeast, down towards Fern's old sch' matey...shop on the left just past the turning for Kungs old trouts place...bout' (no not Viktor) 10-20mtrs past I'd say...get everthing you'll need...

    What you need is a Topps market like we have here....proper posh nosh there Waitrose shit an everything....stonebaked pizza's English sausages...all be it at a Kings ransom...but worth that little treat now and again..

    Also matey. got 12 large pork sausages from Makro yesterday for the Bar-b...199bht and they are large!!! Topps here has horseradish sauce and indian curry mixes ...really authentice ones an all...Naan breads and everything ...I can never leave..fricking Pied Piper syndrome...Arrrrrggggggghhhhhh
    There are no strangers here, just friends you haven't met yet.

  24. #24
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    20-08-2019 @ 04:16 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,608
    ^ You got a Tops there? R.Sole!!

  25. #25
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    20-08-2019 @ 04:16 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,608
    Quote Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
    Don't you have any klongs where you live?
    We don't as ahppens but we do have acres and acres of farmland..one more squawk from the old goat may see her in it.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •