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  1. #1
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    My Christmas Dinner - for one!

    This is the hearty fare I prepared for myself today, it is nutricious and delicious, and can be prepared and cooke in a really short time, depending how small you cut the potatos.

    Ingredients:

    2-3 Large potatos - preferably imported without scabs or blight.

    Water.

    Salt

    Utensils:

    Pan

    Potato Masher

    Fork.

    Method:

    Carefully peel the potatos, removing any "eyes" or the dreaded blsck spotted blight.

    Chop into manageble sizes, about an inch x inch will do.

    CAREFULLY, as we don't want to burn it, bring the water to a steady boil, and add a TSP of salt, let the water simmer, Evian is quite good as is Perrier, tap or toilet water will do providing you boil it for at least 5 minutes.

    Carefully, drop in the potatos, trying to avoid scalding the fingers and hands during this process.

    Wait about 15-20 minutes, then remove from heat and drain well.

    Add a small knob, be it butter or whatever knob you like to the potatos, and mash vigorously, but not enough to make the potatos turn gelatinous, as that is really disgusting.

    Serve on a big plate, in front of a good movie or DVD, lock all the doors so the kids/wife cannot get in, make sure you have a beer at hand and simply enjoy that wonderful feeling of over eating mashed potatos!

    I couldn't catch a chicken, and there are no turkeys, and buffalo is not the same as beef, and fucking pork I eat every day, so it is a healthy vegetarian VEGAN recipe too....apart from the water and salt...I think they come from gasses and compounds, which may involve dead prehistoric bacteria or animal life! (Contains no peanuts!)

  2. #2
    Mid
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    so fido still lives ?

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mid View Post
    so fido still lives ?
    I wished I had had a tin of Pedigree Chum just to make the gravy!

  4. #4
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    I got it wrong Miggs, mine looks fuck all like mash potatoes

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sdigit View Post
    I got it wrong Miggs, mine looks fuck all like mash potatoes
    Bastard! Where did you get the photo of my missus? Fuck, it must be an old photo anyway, she never gets here legs back that far these days! Thank god you can't see her face!! At least two years ago as the haemarroids are just beginning to show around the pucker!

    Care nothing for your blue and white bedspread...

  6. #6
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    Took one hell of a stuffing mate

  7. #7
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    So Miggs were you the one who emailed SKY today saying a fox stole the turkey and sausages they stored out in the cold last night as the fridge was full.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Larn View Post
    So Miggs were you the one who emailed SKY today saying a fox stole the turkey and sausages they stored out in the cold last night as the fridge was full.
    Not me...I simply like eating potatos!

    Thais cannot comprehend this for some reason and I really don't know why.. they like stuffing their faces with horrible white slimy rice...what is wrong with a plate of mash?

  9. #9
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    As well as cricket bats spud mashers seem to be another thing difficult to buy here, anyone know where to get one? I'm stuffed the local pub did an amazing xmas dinner soup, salad, dinner, pud, mince pies, fruit and wine all for 600 baht I like rice but the white stuff is not very nutritious

  10. #10
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    I found my spud masher in Makro.

  11. #11
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    Thanks not looked in there

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Larn
    I found my spud masher in Makro.
    I got mine in Tops I think. Index in Udon have them too.

  13. #13
    Thailand Expat HermantheGerman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missismiggins View Post
    This is the hearty fare I prepared for myself today, it is nutricious and delicious, and can be prepared and cooke in a really short time, depending how small you cut the potatos.

    Ingredients:

    2-3 Large potatos - preferably imported without scabs or blight.

    Water.

    Salt

    Utensils:

    Pan

    Potato Masher

    Fork.

    Method:

    Carefully peel the potatos, removing any "eyes" or the dreaded blsck spotted blight............................................ .......................
    .................................................. .................
    That sounds disgusting !!!
    No butter ?
    No Nutmeg ?
    Your english !

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by HermantheGerman View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Missismiggins View Post
    This is the hearty fare I prepared for myself today, it is nutricious and delicious, and can be prepared and cooke in a really short time, depending how small you cut the potatos.

    Ingredients:

    2-3 Large potatos - preferably imported without scabs or blight.

    Water.

    Salt

    Utensils:

    Pan

    Potato Masher

    Fork.

    Method:

    Carefully peel the potatos, removing any "eyes" or the dreaded blsck spotted blight............................................ .......................
    .................................................. .................
    That sounds disgusting !!!
    No butter ?
    No Nutmeg ?
    Your english !
    Indeed I am, and if you were raised on my mothers cooking, you would find that this dish was cordon bleu...

    She once cooke a Christmas dinner, or something similar..maybe a roast for new year.. I forget. Anyway, I had only one friend out of about 8 that turned up ( we were still pissed from the night before and had slept on the floor, then went back to the bar for more the next morning) that was a VEGETARIAN...

    He thanked her for offerring the food, but declined as the gravy was made from meat, and the plate was overstuffed with dead cooked chicken flesh!

    So what does she say?

    "Oh but it is only one time, surely once is no problem, I've spent 3 hours cooking this!"...........I was speechless!

  15. #15
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    Wife has never seen a Turkey, had one each on Christmas day, wife got the lucky one with the message on its leg.

  16. #16
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    How big were the turkeys?

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by oldgit View Post
    Wife has never seen a Turkey, had one each on Christmas day, wife got the lucky one with the message on its leg.
    I'm guessing she still hasn't then.
    One usually will feed the family with plenty left over for sandwiches the next day.

  18. #18
    Thailand Expat HermantheGerman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missismiggins View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by HermantheGerman View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Missismiggins View Post
    This is the hearty fare I prepared for myself today, it is nutricious and delicious, and can be prepared and cooke in a really short time, depending how small you cut the potatos.

    Ingredients:

    2-3 Large potatos - preferably imported without scabs or blight.

    Water.

    Salt

    Utensils:

    Pan

    Potato Masher

    Fork.

    Method:

    Carefully peel the potatos, removing any "eyes" or the dreaded blsck spotted blight............................................ .......................
    .................................................. .................
    That sounds disgusting !!!
    No butter ?
    No Nutmeg ?
    Your english !
    Indeed I am, and if you were raised on my mothers cooking, you would find that this dish was cordon bleu...

    She once cooke a Christmas dinner, or something similar..maybe a roast for new year.. I forget. Anyway, I had only one friend out of about 8 that turned up ( we were still pissed from the night before and had slept on the floor, then went back to the bar for more the next morning) that was a VEGETARIAN...

    He thanked her for offerring the food, but declined as the gravy was made from meat, and the plate was overstuffed with dead cooked chicken flesh!

    So what does she say?

    "Oh but it is only one time, surely once is no problem, I've spent 3 hours cooking this!"...........I was speechless!
    You guys might not be the greatest chefs in the world, but you sure have a good humour.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by HermantheGerman View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Missismiggins View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by HermantheGerman View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Missismiggins View Post
    This is the hearty fare I prepared for myself today, it is nutricious and delicious, and can be prepared and cooke in a really short time, depending how small you cut the potatos.

    Ingredients:

    2-3 Large potatos - preferably imported without scabs or blight.

    Water.

    Salt

    Utensils:

    Pan

    Potato Masher

    Fork.

    Method:

    Carefully peel the potatos, removing any "eyes" or the dreaded blsck spotted blight............................................ .......................
    .................................................. .................
    That sounds disgusting !!!
    No butter ?
    No Nutmeg ?
    Your english !
    Indeed I am, and if you were raised on my mothers cooking, you would find that this dish was cordon bleu...

    She once cooke a Christmas dinner, or something similar..maybe a roast for new year.. I forget. Anyway, I had only one friend out of about 8 that turned up ( we were still pissed from the night before and had slept on the floor, then went back to the bar for more the next morning) that was a VEGETARIAN...

    He thanked her for offerring the food, but declined as the gravy was made from meat, and the plate was overstuffed with dead cooked chicken flesh!

    So what does she say?

    "Oh but it is only one time, surely once is no problem, I've spent 3 hours cooking this!"...........I was speechless!
    You guys might not be the greatest chefs in the world, but you sure have a good humour.
    Herman...I would honestly say that British food is the best culinary experience you are likely to encounter.

    Take Bangers and Mash...Beans on Toast...Toad in the Hole, where in the world would you find such exquisite cuisine but from the fine shores of England.

    and in case you have any doubt...not too long ago, we British expunged our criminals to Australia, and they cook some fine fish anf Chips and a good PIE!, so , put your Bratwurst and Sauerkraut in the bin and get yourself a good old english HEALTHY MEAL...happy food cooked by SAD people!


    My mother used to cook us "Dripping on Toast" how delightful...a heart attack sandwich! When we got school dinners...mmmm if you ate the gravy in winter, when you went outside in the icy air, your lips became congealed with frozen FAT!

  20. #20
    Thailand Expat superman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missismiggins
    My mother used to cook us "Dripping on Toast" how delightful...
    I liked the taste of the brown jelly at the bottom of the dripping. The memories.

  21. #21
    Thailand Expat HermantheGerman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missismiggins View Post

    Herman...I would honestly say that British food is the best culinary experience you are likely to encounter.

    Take Bangers and Mash...Beans on Toast...Toad in the Hole, where in the world would you find such exquisite cuisine but from the fine shores of England.

    and in case you have any doubt...not too long ago, we British expunged our criminals to Australia, and they cook some fine fish anf Chips and a good PIE!, so , put your Bratwurst and Sauerkraut in the bin and get yourself a good old english HEALTHY MEAL...happy food cooked by SAD people!


    My mother used to cook us "Dripping on Toast" how delightful...a heart attack sandwich! When we got school dinners...mmmm if you ate the gravy in winter, when you went outside in the icy air, your lips became congealed with frozen FAT!

    Are you sure she was your real mother ?

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by HermantheGerman View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Missismiggins View Post

    Herman...I would honestly say that British food is the best culinary experience you are likely to encounter.

    Take Bangers and Mash...Beans on Toast...Toad in the Hole, where in the world would you find such exquisite cuisine but from the fine shores of England.

    and in case you have any doubt...not too long ago, we British expunged our criminals to Australia, and they cook some fine fish anf Chips and a good PIE!, so , put your Bratwurst and Sauerkraut in the bin and get yourself a good old english HEALTHY MEAL...happy food cooked by SAD people!


    My mother used to cook us "Dripping on Toast" how delightful...a heart attack sandwich! When we got school dinners...mmmm if you ate the gravy in winter, when you went outside in the icy air, your lips became congealed with frozen FAT!

    Are you sure she was your real mother ?
    No, not really as she used to drop me on my head for a laugh! How we chortled!

    She actually "allowed me to fall" from a banana slide when I was 4, before playgrounds had soft landings...i.e. it was a concrete floor...I landed on my chin, lost all my teeth, and had to drink soup through a straw for a month..in fact I looked like a 4 year old version of Shane Mc Gowan...I fell one way, she ran the other...was it fate, destiny...planning?

  23. #23
    pompeybloke
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missismiggins
    No, not really as she used to drop me on my head for a laugh! How we chortled!
    Making oi larf again there missis, stop it. Was odd the way playgrounds were all concrete when we were kids though...I mean people had supposedly stepped on the moon by then...sanded pits and all that.

    Happy new year!

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by pompeybloke View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Missismiggins
    No, not really as she used to drop me on my head for a laugh! How we chortled!
    Making oi larf again there missis, stop it. Was odd the way playgrounds were all concrete when we were kids though...I mean people had supposedly stepped on the moon by then...sanded pits and all that.

    Happy new year!
    We had sand pits at our park too...you didn't really want to play in them though... they were full of broken beer bottles and cat and dog shit!

    I even remember rolling a huge snowball, it must have been about 1 metre in diameter...boy we were ecstatic...you had to almost lie on it with full body weight to even move it, it was so heavy...then you find you are covered in DOG SHIT..the snowball kind of "picked it up" and as it came around it clung to your hands, clothes etc...funny what things you remember when you were about 7!

  25. #25
    Thailand Expat jandajoy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missismiggins
    I even remember rolling a huge snowball, it must have been about 1 metre in diameter...boy we were ecstatic...you had to almost lie on it with full body weight to even move it, it was so heavy...then you find you are covered in DOG SHIT..the snowball kind of "picked it up" and as it came around it clung to your hands, clothes etc...funny what things you remember when you were about 7!
    LUXURY..........

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