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  1. #1
    Dislocated Member

    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Last Online
    The thin ice of modern life.

    Scotch Egg Tikka Massala.

    Saw this and though of you guys rolling in from the bar wanting something a little different

    Birmingham Egg

    The reason you're reading this is either because, by some unfortunate set of events, you know me, or the High Führer, Rob Manuel has diverted 50,000 B3TAns to clicking on my little portal of Interweb. Either way, Hi.

    Feeling the need to expand my wardrobe, I accepted Rob's challenge to create the gastronomically delightful Birmingham Egg in exchange for a T-shirt. So, I went to Tesco's.

    Tesco Value. Compensated for by full price Naan Bread. Oh, and I didn't own a Balti Dish...but I do now!

    Did you catch Anatomy For Beginners? I felt just as emasculated doing this.

    I can only assume the custom-purchased Balti Dish was pre-sized for my experiment. Pretty eh?

    "Not suitable for Microwave cooking?" Tesco, one word: Bollocks.

    Tell me that doesn't look good. Go on. Tell Me.

    Ready to eat....However, I should mention at this point, I opted for the traditional precursor to a dodgy curry...I went out and got legless.

    That's me, by the way. Pissed. Eating Scotch Egg Tikka Masala. Let's not piss about here, that's what it is. And I'll be honest...I was eager as hell to get my chops round what would otherwise be two perfectly acceptable foodstuffs, just conjoined!

    But it's absolutely gorgeous! I (and by "I" I mean "We") consumed 70% of the dish, with just one Naan Bread. My pissed up mates were a little reluctant to try it, but it didn't take long for them to sign up:

    One's a Chef (fussy twat) and thought it was "nice" (real chefological term), the other loved it, but he's a greedy git anyway. The designated driver refused on the grounds that, "It looks like shit....perfectly-formed SHIT." I opted for the no chips option as I'm on a diet ;-)

    It smells like a curry...a curry mixed with the feintest odour of a catalytic convertor. As for taste, well, the texture is likened to Chicken Kiev...the bit where the garlic butter runs out and makes it all soggy; if you've ever put Heinz Curry Sauce on a's a bit like that too.

    N.B. You'll notice how my photographer is inept at holding the camera strap away from the lens...I'm sure someone can Photoshop (FU Adobe) something better in its place....

    On a personal note, the additon of Mango Chutney is appropriate. This was purchased previously from Costco for a typical "reasonable price + VAT" for similar curryage.

    I should probably mention that the remaining 30% was eaten the following morning. I felt I could be a little more objective. Thus I can give advice to anyone else hoping to create a perfect curry.

    The sauce and sausage meat were Tesco-Value bland. One should buy decent ingredients and make ones own sauce.

    I suspect the egg itself wasn't free range- it didn't seem happy.
    Breadcrumbs are breadcrumbs...but perhaps some homemade....I'm being pedantic.

    This dish could be made very well indeed...perhaps by Jamie Oliver....maybe he could serve it in Schools?!

    In conclusion, I think that £3.00 for a perfectly appealing curry is Purely Belter! What's more, ring sting was far less noticeable than that of a Kebab with chilli sauce. Oh, and we all kept it you'll have to imagine that chunder pics would look akin to the original dish! Certainly a new Mirv favourite, soon to be repeated.

    Make Birmingham Egg, it's great! Go on, you've got nothing better to do!

    Now, Donate to B3TA you miserable shower of piss.

  2. #2
    Sprayed On Member
    The Fresh Prince's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Last Online
    Not in the willage
    Good Idea!

    I'd have gone for the mini scotch eggs though (quail eggs) and not cut them in half.

  3. #3
    Thungsongsausage's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Last Online
    11-09-2013 @ 07:55 PM
    In a sausage.
    How did your bedroom smell the next morning?? eggy curry and beer...

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Last Online
    12-12-2015 @ 08:55 PM
    i have to go to tesco's as i did not know they sold scotch eggs and it has been a long time since i had them. thanks for the information

  5. #5
    Newbie cbgman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
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    21-11-2013 @ 07:57 PM
    Lancashire UK, but heading for Thailand soon
    I thought I had a cast iron stomach.............until I read this post.

    Does anyone have any ideas on how to clean a PC keyboard?

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