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  1. #1
    Utopian Expat
    Chittychangchang's Avatar
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    Chitty's Dirty Burger Emporium

    Spicy Thai beef burgers made from scratch.

    First buy the lean minced beef as cheap as possible..


    Grab some fist size clumps of minced beef and roll into a cricket ball size or American sized soft ball if your a fat b'stard, adding the finely diced garlic and pepper.Then into the pan and flattened down slowly so as to make the perfect burger shape.




    I'll have the softball sized one please, weighing in a 400 grams.






    Prepare the buns,baps or barms depending where your from with lettuce, cheese,tomato sauce and of course some mayo



    Be warned they hit your stomach hard so book your taxi or private ambulance in advance.

    Taking advance orders but i'm limited to 100 a day so be quick,It's no good coming back later when I've sold out. "Too late, too late" will be the cry when the man with the bargains has passed you by. If you got no money on you now, you'll be crying tears as big as October cabbages.

    150 baht each

    CCC
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  2. #2
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    DrB0b's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chittychangchang View Post
    First buy the lean minced beef
    Noooooooooooooo! Never use lean meat for burgers! Burgers minimum 20% fat. Always. Fat is flavour. Fat is not bad. Too much fat is bad. Do not use lean meat, just use less fat meat!

  3. #3
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    ^^
    Did you get the meat at half price as it was going out of date , or did you get it out of the bin at the back of the supermarket ? ,

  4. #4
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    No chance getting in the bins in this neck of the woods, Punty and his gang have got it all sown up.
    The "Skip Rat" Mafia they're called.
    That meat was fresh when eaten.
    Can i put you down for an order Snakey?
    I'll increase the fat content for the next batch, can i put you down for a dozen BOb?
    10 for a 1000 baht or 2 each.

    Could do with a name for these burgers....hmmmm...any ideas????
    I'll give 100 burgers to any member who can come up with a decent name for my new burger business!!
    It'll be decided by a poll in one weeks time.

    I will personally DFS 24 hour delivery anywhere in the world the winning prize!

  5. #5
    Your own Personal Jesus
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    Looks like they were pink in the middle

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Pat View Post
    Looks like they were pink in the middle
    As they should be.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Pat View Post
    Looks like they were pink in the middle
    Medium to well done, but i can cater for all tastes and pallets...

    The steak tartare burger..


  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chittychangchang View Post
    No chance getting in the bins in this neck of the woods, Punty and his gang have got it all sown up.
    The "Skip Rat" Mafia they're called.
    That meat was fresh when eaten.
    Can i put you down for an order Snakey?
    I'll increase the fat content for the next batch, can i put you down for a dozen BOb?
    10 for a 1000 baht or 2 each.

    Could do with a name for these burgers....hmmmm...any ideas????
    I'll give 100 burgers to any member who can come up with a decent name for my new burger business!!
    It'll be decided by a poll in one weeks time.

    I will personally DFS 24 hour delivery anywhere in the world the winning prize!

    I'd like to order 40,000 free burgers for Father Ted's orphanarium and call upon all TD posters to send me money for my generosity.

  9. #9
    Thailand Expat david44's Avatar
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    It's on the Bucket List

    May I propose your Nana bugger be called, to assuge the pangs of munger

    CityTittyPangBang

    Please send a raw sample for the gimp

    PS not a 150 baht turd sandwich

    http://teakdoor.com/attachments/the-...porium-db7.jpg

  10. #10
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    That's the spirit!

    PM's Sent

  11. #11
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  12. #12
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    Fooking ell Bob that's priceless

    But please this is a serious thread and don't derail it with talk of pies.
    This is a serious thread for serious burger connesiours and I really need help.....with a catchy commercial name for my new bugger business.
    The 100 burger offer stands!!

  13. #13
    Thailand Expat david44's Avatar
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    Of coure the aetiology of pre chewed food is anal retentive and popular in infantilised societies like USA

    Real men eat off the bone or pussy

  14. #14
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    Indeed, I wholeheartedly agree and therefore propose a menu proposition that when motioned must cater for the international gut.

    Therefore an extra 100 burgers will be donated to the wordsmith innovator who can assist in a menu compilation.

    I'm getting a good vibe about this new business now and I reckon in a year or two it'll give Ronald Mcdonald a run for his money.

    On another note, due to business expansion plans i'll be taking on staff. So can any experienced burger flippers send me their resume.
    Much obliged.
    Need more burger input.
    Last edited by Chittychangchang; 18-10-2017 at 04:57 AM. Reason: burger not bugger

  15. #15
    I am in Jail
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    Bunsen Burgers

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chittychangchang View Post
    No chance getting in the bins in this neck of the woods, Punty and his gang have got it all sown up.
    !
    Hang on a minute.. i thought i sell the big issue outside of Aldi, not rooting through the bins at Tescos Glossop

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b View Post
    Burgers minimum 20% fat. Always. Fat is flavour. Fat is not bad.
    This is correct the best burger uses a ratio of 80/20. That is the flavor sweat spot!!

  18. #18
    Thailand Expat Dillinger's Avatar
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    Chav Chitty's Cheeseless Crusty Burgers

  19. #19
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    Bacteria grows on the outside of meat.. that’s why you can eat rare steak because its been seared on the outside.. Once you mince the beef the bacteria is internal so you gotta cook it well.

    The fact that you’ve used nearly out of date minced meat makes it even fucking worse.. Lets hope the germ killing properties of the chili sauce do their thing

  20. #20
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    Anyone who inserts minced garlic into a meat patty and then crowds it into a pan where it boils away in what becomes a dilute fat bath deserves to be crucified and then drawn before quartering.
    That picture was an obscenity.

  21. #21
    Thailand Expat Dillinger's Avatar
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    The OP deserves a good Luigi-ing for using lean meat, not binding it with egg and then forgetting the cheese

  22. #22
    Thailand Expat misskit's Avatar
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    ^ No egg in the burgers! 100% beef only. That 20% fat will hold the patty together just fine.

  23. #23
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    Lean meat, breadcrumbs, egg, very small diced onion, cracked black pepper, couple drops of worchestershire.....

    And:


  24. #24
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    to be honest, that looks a bit shit

    maybe a lazy Thai cook would have done it, but even a farang can do better than that

  25. #25
    Thailand Expat david44's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slick View Post
    worchestershire
    Lee and Herring's?

    I prefer Sacla Pestoshire

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