After toying with the idea of a robust winter vegetable medley, I instead opted for a bog-standard roasted butternut squash soup for the starter.
Soups, I believe, should comprise one prominent component. A solitary hero. When your turnips start encroaching on the swede's saucepan space and your celery crashes the courgette party, an amalgamation of indiscernable flavours materialise, leaving your broth tasting like it was freshly ladelled from a seasoned puddle.
No thanks.
And what's more, we have people to impress here.
Integrating oneself into a Western society after having spent a decade existing on questionable cuts of flesh and chemical laced liquid refreshment is quite the task. One is viewed as a pariah - a reclacitrant oik who'd rather spend a mucky half hour in a backstreet Bangkokian brothel than toil a 9-5 in the rain, dividing one's free time between paying bills and frantic masturbation.
Well, I'd tend to agree.
But whilst we're here, we shall adhere. And civilsation starts at the dinner table.
After a liberal dousing of olive oil, my squash went into a hot oven where it spent an hour receiving a very fucking thorough roasting indeed.
It was subsequently scooped from its casing and added to a simmering pan of onion, garlic and cumin.
Leaving the soup to gently bubble, I then focused on a terribly expensive pork loin; I mean you could've bought Mukdahan for the same money.
Garlic, sage, lemon zest, parsely, salt, pepper and olive oil provided the flavour.
Into the oven for 45 minutes - with a promise from Google that this was the optimum cooking time for light and crispy crackling, just like Granny used to make.
Well, let me tell you this for free - Google is a lying, unscrupulous twat.
The butternut broth played its part nicely. The delicate aroma was substantiated with subtle favouring, perfect for prepping one's palate.
Then came the main course...
Persona non grata returns to the room.
Next time we'll have a 64 from the New Chop Suey house with a side order of Birdseye potato waffles - they're waffelly versatile.