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  1. #1
    Lord of Swine
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    Mc99's Lasagna (sort of)

    Our resident Simians attempts to pass off what I suspect (with no proof mind you) of being store bought lasagna as the product of his personal effort, I decided to have a crack myself. How hard could it be to make in an upcountry shack with nothing but and assortment of sticks, twigs and sharp rocks for implements?

    Turns out pretty difficult and I will admit being defeated by a lack of equipment.


    Start with a bechamel sauce.

    80gms or so of butter melted into a pan. Stir and add about the same amount of flour.
    When combined whisk while slowly adding 600ml of milk.



    Bring to a heave simmer and allow it to reduce and thicken, then add about 160gms of shredded tasty cheese, salt, pepper and parsley. Keep stirring while the cheese is incorporated. When it's done, cover and let it cool (and thicken).


    Fresh Pasta!

    800ml (450gm) of plain flour in a bowl, make a well and add 4 room temp eggs.



    Wash your hands, if they aren't clean now they soon will be.

    Use your fingers or a spatula to swipe the flour through the eggs until all the loose flour is combined.



    Keep mixing until it balls up, at this stage you are better off if it is a little wet as it is easier to add a little flour than to add a little egg. Keep going until it is just slightly tacky. You will add a lot of flour in the kneading process so don't mix it too dry.

    Take it out and knead on a floured board for 3 or 4 min until is is elastic and no longer sticky. Set it aside at room temp while you get your shit together.




    Here's a sauce with mushrooms I made a few days ago in my fav meat cauldron I recently liberated from the Bkk house.




    Add a layer of meat sauce and bechamel in an oiled tin. This tin is way too shallow, but was the only thing I had that would fit in my toy oven.......




    Back to our pasta, roll a small piece out, fold it in 3 like a letter, flip and roll again. Repeat 4 or 5 times before rolling out a sheet for the dish.



    Here's another issue, these sheets were too thick, should have made them half the size and half as thick.




    Another layer of sauces and pasta..that was all the tin would allow unfortunately.




    Finish with a thin layer of each sauce and some shredded cheese and black pepper.





    Cover in foil and into the over at 180 for 40 min then uncover and another 10 or so to brown the top.


    Looked like shit on the plate. Not enough layers to hold together.




    But with some vino and a home baked garlic bread.....


  2. #2
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    Bettyboo's Avatar
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    Shouldn't there be some pasta in a lasagne???

    Poof.

  3. #3
    Lord of Swine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bettyboo View Post
    Shouldn't there be some pasta in a lasagne???

    Poof.

    There is, FRESH PASTA!

    If I wanted 3 or 4 layers I would have had to use the dog's bowl.
    And round lasagna just seems gay.

    ^Poofer

  4. #4
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    9/10 for effort there Necker's.
    Looks edible.

    Tip I got from a friend...

    When making Lasagne, make sure the ingredients are cold and runny because the cooking process will thicken things up.

    Personally, I buy the ready made sheets. Far easier.

  5. #5
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    Very decent and I bet that meat sauce was tasty after a few days stewing. Pasta way too thick though - about 4x too thick in reality and it makes all the difference because you can get more layers in.

    Parsley? Never thought of trying that before in a bechamel for lasagne.

    I might try to create a gluten free lasagne soon and broad cast it on here. I love lasagne, but the burn from gluten is a big downer on it these days.
    Originally Posted by bsnub "No wonder I drive a tesla"

  6. #6
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    very good effort with limited ingredients and utensils....but........nah, good effort.

  7. #7
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    Who gives a damn what it looks like, it's the taste.

    10 out of ten for making your own pasta. I usually buy the green spinach lasagna sheets to add a bit of colour.

    A Swiss butcher friend of mine recommended putting slices of Parma ham between the bechamel and the next sheet of pasta. It keeps it all together better.

    I love lasagna and love making it, but it takes frigging hours. And if you keep sipping on the vino between layers even longer!! And then theres all the bladdy washing up afterwards.

    I'm sure you can buy a deeper roasting pan to make it bigger. Or a rectangular doggy bowl, he won't know the difference.

    To make it more Italian like, perhaps exchange the parsley for basil?

  8. #8
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    Good effort indeed Necron. Lasagna isn't easy to make, the ingredients cost a motza and the kitchen resembles a war zone after making one. Tried once and never again, far easier (and 3 time cheaper) to go to an Italian restaurant that churns it out by the square meter daily. Again though, good effort on your part.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    Our resident Simians attempts to pass off what I suspect (with no proof mind you) of being store bought lasagna as the product of his personal effort,
    Expect a redding.

  10. #10
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    Top marks for presenting the good with the bad. and I will have a go at making my own pasta, cheers for the recipe but I think there's a touch too much oil in this one.




  11. #11
    Lord of Swine
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    ^ Still tasted good.....

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by kingwilly
    but I think there's a touch too much oil in this one
    would hazard a guess that the cheese in the white sauce has been too strong, split the sauce into its component parts. Usually the culprit with lasagne being oily.

    Bet its nice cold as well.

  13. #13
    TD Fat Club VP Dillinger's Avatar
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    Looks like something my mate's dog brings up

  14. #14
    Lord of Swine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger View Post
    Looks like something my mate's dog brings up
    Does he shit bratwursts and piss belgian beer?

  15. #15
    Lord of Swine
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    Quote Originally Posted by pseudolus View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by kingwilly
    but I think there's a touch too much oil in this one
    would hazard a guess that the cheese in the white sauce has been too strong, split the sauce into its component parts. Usually the culprit with lasagne being oily.

    Bet its nice cold as well.

    I suspect you are correct.


    The cheese ha been frozen and behaves strangely.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    The cheese ha been frozen and behaves strangely.
    I freeze cheese as well but not used it in a white sauce. Will try. Less is more might be the solution, with an italian hard cheese in lesser quantity. Funnily enough, the parsley though would have counteracted the acidity of the cheese which makes the split. I would think that in freezing, the fat and water have separated then? Lots of dynamics with this.

    Change to try next time would be to only cook out the white sauce until the flour is cooked, but not so much that it noticeably thickens; add the cheese and leave to cool. That way the bulk of the thickening of the sauce will happen when baking, and should set rather than go over the edge and split.

    Matters not though - scrumptious all the same.

  17. #17
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    Here is one I did up a few months ago. The same problem as Necron, the pans are not deep enough, so a few shots.

    I used packaged noodles, a bechamel, mozzarella, and my spaghetti gravy.



    Ready to go in the oven with one layer done.


    completed. 2 and1/2 layers.


    In the oven covered first.



    Done, perhaps a few minutes to long, but it was damn good.



    Plated with a slice of garlic bed.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Bettyboo View Post
    Shouldn't there be some pasta in a lasagne???

    Poof.

    There is, FRESH PASTA!

    If I wanted 3 or 4 layers I would have had to use the dog's bowl.
    And round lasagna just seems gay.

    ^Poofer
    Well done, Nec!
    Don't allow them to deter you - nothing wrong with fresh experimental pasta.

    I might challenge any such dissenters to create a decent and consistent pasta dough.

    Though, I would have done a vege-type lasagne myself.

  19. #19
    Lord of Swine
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    ^^ That looks good AO, I would have preferred a mix of buf mozzarella and parmasan, but Nakhon Nowhere 7/11 "No Hab".......


    To anyone attempting fresh pasta without a pasta roller I would suggest rolling out on greasepaper as it is difficult to roll that thin without it sticking to anything else..

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    To anyone attempting fresh pasta without a pasta roller I would suggest rolling out on greasepaper as it is difficult to roll that thin without it sticking to anything else..
    Hey the highest praise for even attempting to make the noodles, I would love to try it.

  21. #21
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  22. #22
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    ^ I put the extra sauce on top just for you sweetie....

  23. #23
    TD Fat Club VP Dillinger's Avatar
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    I see there's no mention of the utensil you used to roll out the dough this time. You normally try and macho it up here Necron, by saying you used a 640ml bottle of Chang after neckin' it in one.

    Fukkin Necker's, more like Neckin' cock
    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    Back to our pasta, roll a small piece out, fold it in 3 like a letter, flip and roll again. Repeat 4 or 5 times before rolling out a sheet for the dish.


    In fact there's no alcohol to be seen anywhere, just half a glass of Diet Coke



    Neckers has gone full poof

  24. #24
    Lord of Swine
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    ^ get real you breezer sucking NancyBoy.
    I didn't roll it out with a manly beer bottle, I was drinking the beer while I scared it flat....


  25. #25
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    ^^and he smoke MEnthols.

    Give it up, Necron mate. Get a handbag to put your purse guns in and forget how to park.

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