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  1. #1
    Lord of Swine
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    Mc99's Pork Ahkbar

    In a kneejerk reaction to KingWilly's apocryphal use of the term "Beef Bacon" and mincing kowtowing to a dark age dictate issued by a raving loon I had a epiphany.
    An idea so outrageous in it's conception and so offensive in it's execution that I rushed right over to the Mc99's Food Science Lab and, taking stock of what was at hand promptly kicked every fucker out and set to work.........


    I present to you, Allah and his nutjob mouthpiece a work I call "Pork Ahkbar"!


    The beginnings...........



    Get the gay veggie stiff out of the way.

    Chop some spuds and onions, layer them in a dish with tarragon and pepper.






    Make a cheese sauce by mixing 3 tablespoons of flour into the same amount of melted butter. Mix in 2 cups of milk and raise the heat to a near boil.
    Add a cup and a half of cheese and stir until it melts and the sauce thickens.

    Pour over your spuds and into the over at 180 for an hour and a bit.





    While you brown off your seasoned chunk of dead pig, mix up some various shite mustards sourced from Tesco with two tablespoons of honey, two cloves of garlic and a tablespoon of rosemary seeds.





    Douse your browned pig in this heavenly concoction.





    Apply a touch of genius, what's better than roast pig?
    Roast pig wrapped in bacon, that's what..........





    Appy FIRE!




    More FIRE More!!!





    While your roast is regaining it's strength, check on your spuds.....






    Make a gravy with the pan drippings, a half cup of apple juice and a quarter cup of chicken stock. Plate and serve with some of your homemade sauerkraut and invite the local Mullah for dinner.
    Serve as always, with Chang.



  2. #2
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    Top marks in all departments. Can there be such a thing as having too much pork products on one plate?. Of course not. Peace be upon you .

  3. #3
    Lord of Swine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Headworx View Post
    Top marks in all departments. Can there be such a thing as having too much pork products on one plate?. Of course not. Peace be upon you .


    Was going to put bacon chips in the au gratin but I thought it would look like showing off.....

  4. #4
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    Genius in every department.

    So good in fact that I doubt you're an Aussie.

    Reloading for greens...

  5. #5
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    What cut is that pork n99? It actually came out pretty good. Top marks on the cheese sauce too. Nice choice of brand. What butter do you use? This crappy weird butter I get here makes everything taste like shit.

    Keen to hear what people knock up with what's available. I'll post one of mine soon.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by 9999
    Keen to hear what people knock up with what's available.
    I usually use a picture of Maria Ozawa.

    Sorry... The cheese and potato number does look great too.

  7. #7
    Lord of Swine
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    Quote Originally Posted by 9999 View Post
    What cut is that pork n99? It actually came out pretty good. Top marks on the cheese sauce too. Nice choice of brand. What butter do you use? This crappy weird butter I get here makes everything taste like shit.

    Keen to hear what people knock up with what's available. I'll post one of mine soon.
    No idea on the pork mate, just ask the missus to bring pig back from the market. loin maybe?

    Butter is orchid, in gold foil. Seems ok.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bettyboo
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by 9999
    Keen to hear what people knock up with what's available.
    I usually use a picture of Maria Ozawa.

  9. #9
    POTUS HOCUS
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    Eager Begas was our website once its a great part of NSW esp the amazing coast around Eden

    I'll tell my jewish and muslim guests its a poltice looks delicious

  10. #10
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    [QUOTE=Bettyboo;2778529]Genius in every department.

    So good in fact that I doubt you're an Aussie

    For fuks sake Betty. Marmite hasn't been posting for a while are you standing in for him? Why all the anti Aussie banter lately? An Aussie pissed in your cornflakes? Shagged your cat/goat?
    Hmm

  11. #11
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    Looks bloody great! Nice touch with the roasted garlic.

  12. #12
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    But where's the crackling?

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bettyboo View Post
    Genius in every department.

    So good in fact that I doubt you're an Aussie.
    I suspect this, as well...

    High ratings for your effort and results 99!!

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by beerlaodrinker
    For fuks sake Betty. Marmite hasn't been posting for a while are you standing in for him? Why all the anti Aussie banter lately? An Aussie pissed in your cornflakes? Shagged your cat/goat?
    Sorry, mate. I suspect it all started with the Ashes...

  15. #15
    Lord of Swine
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    Quote Originally Posted by kingwilly View Post
    But where's the crackling?

    It's got bacon, crackling would be technically unviable.

    Roast garlic went into the gravy.

  16. #16
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    Yes, but that's the problem. Roast pork without crackling is like sex without a girl.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by kingwilly View Post
    Yes, but that's the problem. Roast pork without crackling is like sex without a girl.
    Self knowledge is a wonderful thing

  18. #18
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    They're a tough crowd Necron, well some of them . Jeremy Clarkson (a Brittle himself) summed this up perfectly once with something that went a bit like if you pulled into a gas station in America in a Lamborghini the guy filling up next to you would say "goddamn, that's one nice car!" but if you were in England the guy next to you would say "eeeeeee, I bet you get 'orrible mileage per gallon in that".

    And that about sums it up.

  19. #19
    Can I still change this?
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    Bogon's seal of approval there Necron.

    Pig upon pig with a pig juice gravy makes me feel warm inside.

    *claps hands*

  20. #20
    Lord of Swine
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    Quote Originally Posted by david44 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by kingwilly View Post
    Yes, but that's the problem. Roast pork without crackling is like sex without a girl.
    Self knowledge is a wonderful thing
    Equates sex to crackling, Freud would have a field day with that.
    Oedipus complex.

    Ok Willy, pork with bacon crackling is like sex without a woman, maybe like getting a bj from a ladyboy, but a really, really good bj, i mean, if anyone knows how to give good head it stands to reason......

    While you on the other hand, presented us with BEEF bacon.
    Wonder what Freud would make of that.......

  21. #21
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    Alright, alright. Challenge accepted. Pork dish coming up.

  22. #22
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    with crackling?

  23. #23
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    Nope, I am saying good crackling is better than sex. And freud be damned.

  24. #24
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    Fukk me that looks good, and that's coming from a 95% veggie (yes I'm fukkin slipping, fukk off!)

  25. #25
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    But it's lacking crackling, Kurgen.

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