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  1. #1
    Lord of Swine
    Necron99's Avatar
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    Mc99's culinary interpretation of The Life of Pie

    Life of Pi, some faggoty movie about a boy who tells bullshit stories.

    Screw that, Rugby tommorow, I need pie.....
    I know, I know, the last pie wasn't so good, that poof Bones was right, I didn't have enough pastry and bolognaise sauce is not a pie filling.
    I promise to do better.



    Start with a big chunk of dead cow, the deader the better.
    Add an onion and a carrot, some thyme and rosemary, some woster, chillis and black pepper.
    And beer.







    Cut up you dead cow and season with s&p, lightly coast in flour and brown off.



    Fine cut the onion and carrot and fry until the onion is clear, when it's nearly done throw in some chopped chilli and 3 cloves of garlic.






    Into the pot with more pepper, some thyme and rosemary, a tablespoon of tomato paste and half a bottle of beer. Bring to the boil, reduce to medium and simmer until it thickened a fair bit.




    Rough cop some mushies and into the pot with about a liter of cold water.







    Let it simmer for about an hour and a half, then increase the heat and reduce to a pie filling texture while stirring. Put it in the fridge to cool.




    Pastry, 150 grams of cubed butter, 150 grams of shredded tasty cheese and 600 grams or 1100 ml of plain flour. Rub it between your thumb and fingers until it is all combined and looks like damp breadcrumbs. (two pies worth, or a pie and a pasty)



    Slowly add up to 250 ml of ice cold water while stirring until it looks like this.
    Knead it a few times to combine and let it rest in the fridge. Pastry needs to be worked cold......




    Roll out about 2mm thick, roll it around your roller and lay out in your pan, fill it.





    Paint the edges with egg yolk and lay on you top, crimp and trim the crust and coat with egg yolk and some black pepper.




    Into the toy over at 180 c for 35 minutes




    Coor......!




    Last edited by Necron99; 20-03-2014 at 07:31 PM.

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat
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    Looks bloody beautiful!. I tip my hat to those of you with baking skills.

  3. #3
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    Looks pretty damn good!

    Why did you put the filling into the fridge? It seems like you could have put together the pastry while the filling was cooking and finished the two simultaneously.

  4. #4
    Lord of Swine
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    Quote Originally Posted by CSFFan View Post
    Looks pretty damn good!

    Why did you put the filling into the fridge? It seems like you could have put together the pastry while the filling was cooking and finished the two simultaneously.

    The pastry is basically 30% fat. If you put hot filling in it it would just melt before it cooked. Even at (thai) room temp you have to work with it quickly before it turns to goo.
    With a cold filling the pastry gets a chance to cook and solidify before the filling gets hot.

  5. #5
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    Wherever you are you should open a cafe.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    With a cold filling the pastry gets a chance to cook and solidify before the filling gets hot.
    Ok, but does the filling get hot in the middle before the pastry becomes charcoal? What temp did you cook it at to get the proper balance between starting temps and piping hot in the middle?

  7. #7
    Lord of Swine
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    Quote Originally Posted by CSFFan View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    With a cold filling the pastry gets a chance to cook and solidify before the filling gets hot.
    Ok, but does the filling get hot in the middle before the pastry becomes charcoal? What temp did you cook it at to get the proper balance between starting temps and piping hot in the middle?

    The filling gets plenty hot, remember it's already cooked and just needs to be warmed.
    In my toy oven I have to do a balancing act and play with top and bottom elements to get it cooked properly, it's more of a challenge to get the bottom cooked before the top is done. Filling is never a problem. 180c in a proper oven should do it, 30-35 minutes.

  8. #8
    loob lor geezer
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99 View Post
    Coor......!



    You total bastard ! Normaly , before I go to bed I like to think of what I'm going to have for breakfast. I sleep well with pleasant dreams.

    And now this !!! How the fook can my full English dream compete with this culinary leviathan ? I'll toss and turn ( emphasis on former ) all night , drooling all over my pillow until I awake in the morning and have to face another pieless week

    My ma always told me that pastry needs to be prepared in a cool room. To think of the years I havn't even tried to test the theory. Well, all that has changed. I'm a goona give it a go as soon as I have the time !

  9. #9
    Thailand Expat klong toey's Avatar
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    Looks very nice,next time you make one invite the TD taste panel around.
    Just to verify it taste as good as it looks.

  10. #10
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    Should've asked before Necron: Is that mashed sweet potatoe or something added to white spuds (like pumpkin?) to give it that slight orange colour?. Ta.

  11. #11
    Lord of Swine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Headworx View Post
    Should've asked before Necron: Is that mashed sweet potatoe or something added to white spuds (like pumpkin?) to give it that slight orange colour?. Ta.
    Carrots, Spuds (1 to 2), big doolop of salted butter and dash of tabasco.

  12. #12
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    See that's why this thread is so good, the thought of your "mixed mash" with carrots would never have occurred to me and now I'm thinking carrot - sweet potatoe - pumpkin would be a killer (and healthy) taste combo. And why the fuck haven't I been using Tabasco in my mashes, that'd just have to be really good...

    Thanks again.

  13. #13
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    Well done, Necron.
    Can't green you.


    Quote Originally Posted by CSFFan
    but does the filling get hot in the middle before the pastry becomes charcoal?
    If you jumped out of the fridge and into an oven at 180 c for 35 minutes...

  14. #14
    Lord of Swine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Headworx View Post
    See that's why this thread is so good, the thought of your "mixed mash" with carrots would never have occurred to me and now I'm thinking carrot - sweet potatoe - pumpkin would be a killer (and healthy) taste combo. And why the fuck haven't I been using Tabasco in my mashes, that'd just have to be really good...

    Thanks again.
    Boredom and monotony are the mothers of innovation.

    Peas & Spuds with black pepper
    Spuds & Roast capsicum, tabasco
    Spud Sweet Spud & horseradish for steak, dijon for pork

  15. #15
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    great stuff.

  16. #16
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    ^^ True. I need to experiment more with ways to make vegetables less boring.

    Moving into my new place in 10 days time, it's got a really nice kitchen so it'll be time to start trying new things and posting pics in here again. Thinking about getting some square dinner plates as well .

  17. #17
    Lord of Swine
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    Triangle is the new square....

  18. #18
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    I saw a funny thing on the telly the other day where a woman used her husband's false teeth to crimp the pastry!!

  19. #19
    Lord of Swine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bangyai View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99 View Post
    Coor......!



    You total bastard ! Normaly , before I go to bed I like to think of what I'm going to have for breakfast. I sleep well with pleasant dreams.

    And now this !!! How the fook can my full English dream compete with this culinary leviathan ? I'll toss and turn ( emphasis on former ) all night , drooling all over my pillow until I awake in the morning and have to face another pieless week

    My ma always told me that pastry needs to be prepared in a cool room. To think of the years I havn't even tried to test the theory. Well, all that has changed. I'm a goona give it a go as soon as I have the time !

    A full English brekkie. that'd go down well......














    If it was in a PIE!

  20. #20
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    I make a similar sort of thing using chicken and asparagus for a filling, but I've always used prepared paatry. Reckon , might give this a go.

  21. #21
    Lord of Swine
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    Quote Originally Posted by kingwilly View Post
    I make a similar sort of thing using chicken and asparagus for a filling, but I've always used prepared paatry. Reckon , might give this a go.

    Pastry is easy enough to make.

    Cooking the fucker is a bit of experiment though. Oven type, thickness, type of pan..
    I'm using a small frying pan which is not very good as it's thickness means the top cooks much quicker than the bottom.
    But as long as you don;t go too far, it's pretty forgiving. Tinfoil over the top stops it browning while the bottom cooks.

    Need to get some tinfoil pie trays I reckon.


    Apple Mango next up,,,,,stay tuned.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    Screw that, Rugby tommorow, I need pie.....
    I know, I know, the last pie wasn't so good, that poof Bones was right, I didn't have enough pastry and bolognaise sauce is not a pie filling.
    I promise to do better.
    Link of this disaster...

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Headworx
    See that's why this thread is so good, the thought of your "mixed mash" with carrots would never have occurred to me and now I'm thinking carrot - sweet potatoe - pumpkin would be a killer (and healthy) taste combo. And why the fuck haven't I been using Tabasco in my mashes, that'd just have to be really good...

    Thanks again.
    bit of onion works a treat...

  24. #24
    Lord of Swine
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    Quote Originally Posted by kingwilly View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    Screw that, Rugby tommorow, I need pie.....
    I know, I know, the last pie wasn't so good, that poof Bones was right, I didn't have enough pastry and bolognaise sauce is not a pie filling.
    I promise to do better.
    Link of this disaster...

    The good, the bad, and the ugly.......

    http://teakdoor.com/the-kitchen/1390...-meat-pie.html (Necrons Mc99 Chilli Meat Pie!)


    But nobody died..

  25. #25
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    Fuck it, I didnt really want a steak and onion pie anyway!



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