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  1. #1
    Lord of Swine
    Necron99's Avatar
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    Necron99's Mc'99 Happy Meal

    Pretty much disgusted with the state of Thai market "food" these days and being a 4 hours away from Burger King I have decided to start my own fast food chain. The secret to success is of course drawing in the kiddies, so the venerable Mc'99 Happy Meal is first one the menu!


    Borrowing heavily on Henry Fords' work, an efficient, ergonomic production line has been created in our new state of the art food science lab.

    Lime Juice
    Coriander
    Flour, salt and Cumin
    Egg
    Panko and chili flakes

    Dip, roll, coat, dunk, cover, fry.



    Add a side order of our World Famous Crinkle Cut Wedges ( Only at Mc'99s!) and some hot dipping sauce in a souvenir Mexican peasant bowl that's yours to keep*! And we're done.



    I'm pretty proud of what the guys over in marketing have done.
    They have worked their butts off getting packaging and creative content to make sure we get into the right marketspace.





























    The puzzle toy was my idea.....
    I think it will be a hit with the kiddies.










    *If a Mexican guy approaches you in the carpark and says something like "¿Dónde está mi plato?" Just tell him to "Vahmos!"

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat
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    Fcuking funny a good gag, but what happened to the chicken? There had to have been some sort of horrible accident.

  3. #3
    Lord of Swine
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    Oil was a bit hot.

  4. #4
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    World Famous Crinkle Cut Wedges
    A half-baked gimmick, literally.

    And that ketchup looks funny.

  5. #5
    Lord of Swine
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    World Famous Crinkle Cut Wedges
    A half-baked gimmick, literally.

    And that ketchup looks funny.


    World famous. FACT!

    And that's not ketchup, it's "hot dipping sauce in a souvenir Mexican peasant bowl that's yours to keep*"
    I paid the ad agency a fucking fortune to come up with that line and you call it "Ketchup" Sheesh!
    You know a wealth of fuck all about the ad game Slap, a wealth I say!


    Franchises are available in your area.

  6. #6
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    Franchises are available in your area.
    Perfect a triple whopper with cheese and we'll talk.

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    Oil was a bit hot.
    55 been there done that. 29 seconds done, plus oil all over your stove top.

  8. #8
    Lord of Swine
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    I just got a cease and desist order from some clown called Ronald....

  9. #9
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    Priceless! TY for making me laugh love it.

  10. #10
    TD Fat Club VP Dillinger's Avatar
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    Funny as fuck that was

  11. #11
    R.I.P.
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    What's the toy? Is that a cigarette lighter, with a leccie tie? Was the mexican bowl bought in Mexico?

  12. #12
    Lord of Swine
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    ^ It's an educational* and colourful puzzle toy sure to delight and keep the kids occupied for hours.
    Any resemblance to a used lighter with 2 zip ties attached is purely coincidental.
    The bowl is genuine Mexican Indian folk art reproduction of Pre-Columbian Aztec pottery produced by a
    Tribe of Yaqui Indian artisans currently residing in Southern China on a cultural exchange program.























    * Can also be used to light smokes and start fires.**

















    ** Once you solve the puzzle.....We have been assured by the manufacturer Hasburn(tm)that any child who is smart enough to solve the puzzle is also mature enough to use it responsibly.
    Last edited by Necron99; 05-02-2014 at 08:41 PM.

  13. #13
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    ^ This shit just gets better, all brought on by the fact he likes to cook.

  14. #14
    R.I.P.
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    By the time I would have worked out how the toy unravels, the chips would be cold. So i would need a cig to calm me down. You should add a couple of cigarettes in there. Then i could start a fire to warm the food up, obviously using the fire proof mexican artefact.

  15. #15
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    No background beer Chang.

    Ponce.

  16. #16
    Custom Title Changer
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    Nicely done, thanks for the laugh!

  17. #17
    Lord of Swine
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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke View Post
    No background beer Chang.

    Ponce.

    Jeezuz Stoke you alchy, it's the Kiddies Happy Meal Deal.....



    There was a small can of Chang Draught hidden behind the box lid.
    Included in the meal deal, only 99 baht a set.

    Opening month special, for an extra 30 baht the drive through monkey will slip a ruphie* in the kids beer to keep them quiet on the drive home.
    *Not recommended if traveling 4 up on a mototcy....
    Last edited by Necron99; 05-02-2014 at 09:53 PM.

  18. #18
    Utopian Expat Chittychangchang's Avatar
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    KFC happy meal, you want to patent that idea!

  19. #19
    Lord of Swine
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    New Franchise Open!!

    STOP THE PRESS!!

    Necron99, developer of the new Fast Food chain taking the world and N/E Thailand by storm has announced it's first new franchise!

    Mc'99's has entered into a limited agreement with Saloon Bar & Goat Emporium powered by TeakDoor to both expand and take over the existing kitchen and several nearby hootches.

    Located in the idyllic northern hinterland tourist town of Mai Arse, the new eatery has been an instant hit and has already picked up a number of loyal repeat customers. So many infact that we are now advertising the full time position of customer picker upper (vomit proof uniform supplied).


    [/IMG]
    Another happy customer relaxing in the spacious tropical beer garden at SB&GE-Mc'99s


    As can be seen from our latest publicity shots, Mc'99s has spared no expense in revamping the look and feel with top notch signage and landscaping.

    SB&GE proprietor ChangMakLoon said he would miss his usual diet of rodents, offal and insects slathered in rotting fish mucus, but was sure the outlet would be a boon to the local economy.

    As an opening promotion Mc'99s head office is giving away a months supply of Mc'99s meals to any reader who can correctly name the featured customer!

    The press were also given a sneak peak at coming additions to the menu range after extensive human trials of new recipes produced no known fatalities*!

    Watch this space!














    *That criminal courts** could prove were definitively linked to the consumption of Mc'99s food.















    ** Civil suits may still be pending....
    Last edited by Necron99; 06-02-2014 at 05:42 PM.

  20. #20
    Thailand Expat
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    ^ Can't green you again!

  21. #21
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    As an opening promotion Mc'99s head office is giving away a months supply of Mc'99s meals to any reader who can correctly name the featured customer!
    That's slapper that is.

    I would like to donate my prize to a charity, any charity.

  22. #22
    Lord of Swine
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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    As an opening promotion Mc'99s head office is giving away a months supply of Mc'99s meals to any reader who can correctly name the featured customer!
    That's slapper that is.

    I would like to donate my prize to a charity, any charity.

    Did I mention that all meal deals come with a choice of small or large Chang for the kids and a fine assortment of Lao Khao/Ya Dong options for Mom & Dad?

  23. #23
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    Did I mention that all meal deals come with a choice of small or large Chang for the kids and a fine assortment of Lao Khao/Ya Dong options for Mom & Dad?
    No you didn't.

    I'm off to try and make a couple of kids right now.

  24. #24
    Lord of Swine
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    Lets go VIRAL.......

    [/IMG]

  25. #25
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    ^ How long will that last?

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