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Thread: Food...ish.

  1. #1
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    Food...ish.

    Thought I'd have a go at this cooking lark.


    First up is L'sausage ala potato mash in baked bean sauce.

    ...do try to keep up...


    Pre-heat the cooker thing to 'hot' so that the little red light is on.

    chuck the sausages on and turn them when you're bored. aim for a brown colour.





    next up is put the kettle on. don't have a cup of tea you twat it's past 3pm so have a beer. but use the hot water to make the smash. it's just like real potato, except chemically and not very good for you.




    Try to get a decent consistency..




    ..next.. lightly dribble some beans into a bowl and heat in the silver box thing in the corner for a few minutes or until the window is all spashed with juice (ooh er)




    best served with a beer and infront of football on the tele.

    Last edited by armstrong; 15-01-2014 at 06:20 PM.
    I'd like to see what morning looks like
    Don't wanna drink pint after pint
    I wanna wake up without feeling sick
    But I can't cuz I'm a drug-abusing alcoholic

  2. #2
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    ..for the next one i was aiming to re-create the taste of a burger from a van that was parked in the middle of the B&Q carpark on a Saturday.



    pre-heat red circle thing to 'spitting oil at me a bit' and chuck the meat on.




    lightly toast the buns for a crunchy taste. (or burn the feck out of them after forgetting you put them there like i did)




    chuck on some splendid processed cheese made from only the best plastic while cooking so it melts and at least starts to look like cheese. add some fried onions for that authentic feel.




    fry some chips 'cos you know the burger wont fill you up. fat bastard. don't bother drying the oil off..




    eat at a funny angle. near the sink


  3. #3
    Mid
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    TD's gastronomic heights know no bounds

  4. #4
    splendid and tremendous
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    It's your.........Sunday fish finger!

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    That looks horrible, Armstrong... Powdered mashed potato - you know you're gonna get stick for that!

    The sausage looks ok. &, you're right, it really does look like a burger van.
    Last edited by Bettyboo; 15-01-2014 at 11:20 PM.

  6. #6
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    bravo.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bettyboo
    Powdered mashed potato - you know you're good get stick for that!
    far too lazy to use real potatoes.. i was hungry..

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by armstrong View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Bettyboo
    Powdered mashed potato - you know you're good get stick for that!
    far too lazy to use real potatoes.. i was hungry..
    Taste any good?

  9. #9
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    Looks like kiddy kennel food.

  10. #10
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    Brooks beans were the only decent thing you ate.

  11. #11
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    You bear a remarkable resemblance to those chips.

    Good job you play footy regular to burn up all the carbs and calories. Well done in the Tom and Barbara self sufficiency stakes.

    I was almost about to get of my arse and rustle something up. fortunately the GF just rocked up and headed for the kitchen.
    Heart of Gold and a Knob of butter.

  12. #12
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    Can the OP do a YouTube vid to show us all the secrets of arriving at these gastronomic delights.

    Ps what type of wine goes with the packet mash?

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Camel Toe
    Looks like kiddy kennel food.
    aww. while it is a boost of my self esteem to know you like me so much to follow me everywhere but please, do fuck off you disease ridden twat.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iceman123
    Ps what type of wine goes with the packet mash?
    Leo (2013)

  15. #15
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    Some guys need a wife and some don't. Some guys marry couch algae. My mum taught me how to cook, I'm good thank you.

  16. #16
    ความสุขในอีสาน
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    Bloody hell mate I know your only a young man but your soon gonna have serious gut problems eating shite like that.

    I would have a serious rethink, or go to 7 // 11 for a proper meal

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Camel Toe
    My mum taught me how to cook, I'm good thank you
    only thing your mother taught you eh.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bettyboo
    Taste any good?
    good enough... it wasn't delicious but delicious is far too over used in Thailand anyway.

  19. #19
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    Both those dishes would have been massively improved with some aussie mature cheddar

  20. #20
    The cold, wet one
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    Effin fantastic! Nearly wet myself laughing. Mr NR doesn't like your packet mash, btw

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    To be fair to Armstrong, what more does a man need?

  22. #22
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    Armstrong , I know very little about Thailand however I have been told Thai street markets sell real potatoes however if peeling is too hard for you, I would suggest you stick to Thai street food as apparently cheap and nutritious . You also may not get food poison .

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Casca
    I know very little about Thailand however I have been told Thai street markets sell real potatoes however if peeling is too hard for you, I would suggest you stick to Thai street food as apparently cheap and nutritious . You also may not get food poison .
    Thai markets do sell potatoes, also available in Lotus, Makro, Tops and a range of other outlets.
    Thing is he has a Thai wife who should be looking after him. If for some reason she is unavailable, at least the lad has the means to fix himself a quick nourishing snack and a camera to record his culinary masterpiece.

    My top tip: if you have leftover pizza always put it in the fridge so you have a quick snack available for breakfast. If you leave it out overnight, it will be covered in ants by morning.

  24. #24
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    i cooked egg and chips last night. I'll spare you the photos of that..

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by armstrong
    i cooked egg and chips last night. I'll spare you the photos of that..
    Come on man, i'll show you mine.............





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