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  1. #1
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Slap's Saturday Kitchen: The Legend of the Soupsman

    I have decided to become a soup specialist.

    I am aspiring to be the best soup chef in the history of the universe.

    From the comforting properties of a broth to the flamboyancy of a bisque, I will have the entire soup market covered.

    I will be so fucking good at cooking soup that people will travel from every corner of the globe to taste my wares.

    I shall go on to be referred to as 'The Soupsman'.

    Years from now, excited children will ask their weary parents to once again regale the 'Legend of the Soupsman'. About how he altered the course of culinary history. About how he dared venture beyond the realms of conventional cooking. About how he had the ability to write an alarming amount of irrelevant twaddle.

    The quest for this esteemed moniker starts with a basic tomato soup.

    Tomatoes, tomato puree, a smidgen of rosemary, onion and garlic, frying in butter and olive oil.



    A pint or so of chicken stock is added, the broth brought to the boil and then left to simmer for 30 minutes.



    Tease the aromatic melange into a blender, pulsate not once, not twice, but thrice, before blitzing the living shat out of it.

    Reheat if necessary.

    Plate and garnish.



    Souperb!


  2. #2
    Lord of Swine
    Necron99's Avatar
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    Those are some manky looking tomatoes, but end result looks good.

  3. #3
    Mid
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    manky looking tomatoes
    Most probably the pick of the crop in Thailand .

  4. #4
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    I bought a hot and cold blender about 18 months ago which is great for making soups.

    My spicy Tomato and Basil soup pisses over yours, I am Souperman!

  5. #5
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    but end result looks good.
    The work of a born Soupsman?


    Quote Originally Posted by Mid
    Most probably the pick of the crop in Thailand
    The trained eye of the Soupsman wouldn't allow for anything less.


    Quote Originally Posted by Kurgen
    I am Souperman!
    I hereby challenge you to a Soup-off! There can only be one Soupsman.

  6. #6
    Lord of Swine
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    ^ I must admit, food that does not require teeth to eat is a bit...dainty...
    Long way from the meat locker.

  7. #7
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    cue chefs special sauce.

  8. #8
    Lord of Swine
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    Quote Originally Posted by taxexile View Post
    cue chefs special sauce.

    I think that's it beside the leaf.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    I hereby challenge you to a Soup-off! There can only be one Soupsman.
    Challenge accepted but Soupsman sounds gay, IMO.

    Do you wear a skirt as you cook?

  10. #10
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    Stick to writing and drunken debauchery, Slap. Your culinary technique is just a hair above piss poor. Now if you're not offended just ask and I'll let you know where you fouled up.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mid View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    manky looking tomatoes
    Most probably the pick of the crop in Thailand .
    Could be of the "heritage" type - as they do not resemble what most have been conditioned to what a tomato might be.

  12. #12
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    Slap good try for a first timer

    couple of suggestions, use more tom paste try either thyme or rosemary, a few carrots and celery, and use a Gastric, which is sugar and vinegar reduced gives the soup a bite

    7/10 for a good try

  13. #13
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    He's making hot Bloody Mary's really ain't ya Slap....

  14. #14
    Lord of Swine
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    ^ Tomatoes here are mostly tasteless and either over or under ripe. Sometimes half each in the same fruit. Storage and handling issues I suspect.

    Must get some decent roma and beefsteak seeds.

  15. #15
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    I actually bought a tin of Heinz Tomato Soup the other day, haven't eaten that in years. Still in the cupboard.

  16. #16
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kurgen
    Do you wear a skirt as you cook?
    No. I wear a leopard skin leotard and a pair of stilettos, if you must know.

    Right, this soup-off. I challenge you, young Kurgen. to rummage up a broth by next Saturday and I shall do the same. A thread will then be created in order to judge the victor. Everyone welcome to enter.


    Quote Originally Posted by Nokturnal
    Now if you're not offended just ask and I'll let you know where you fouled up
    Come on then. Out with it?


    Quote Originally Posted by Yasojack
    rosemary,
    Used it!


    Quote Originally Posted by Smug Farang Bore
    He's making hot Bloody Mary's really ain't ya Slap...
    Indeed. An Issanic BM. LK in place of Vodka. I might try to punt it out around the provinces.

    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    Tomatoes here are mostly tasteless
    Not when a seasoned Soupsman gets hold of them.


    Quote Originally Posted by patsycat
    Heinz Tomato Soup
    I was delighted to note that my soup tasted much better than that, and ran rings around any Campbell's offering I've ever tried.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    Right, this soup-off. I challenge you, young Kurgen. to rummage up a broth by next Saturday and I shall do the same. A thread will then be created in order to judge the victor. Everyone welcome to enter.
    Okey dokey girly blokey, I'll do a mid week tommy and basil and try and post the pictures that will have you snorting Lao Kao till yer toenails fall off.

    My hot n cold blender cannot be beaten.

  18. #18
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kurgen
    My hot n cold blender cannot be beaten.
    It's on!

    Any other takers?

    Soup-off?

  19. #19
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Recipe for withnalls manly tomato soup.

    Put tomatoes into a bowl of cold water.
    Eat them.



  20. #20
    splendid and tremendous
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    Well done.

    I score that a 10 on 10.

    For utter, indisputable faggotry.

  21. #21
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    WTF uses baby toms for a manly soup?

  22. #22
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    My money's on somtamslap super soupsman,
    try saying that when you're pissed.

  23. #23
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    I might try and make some ox tail soup.
    I just remembered, I already did and it was a fookin' disaster!


    Soup-off...You can go and fook-off.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by jamiejambos
    My money's on somtamslap super soupsman
    How much ?

    Don't let that pic fool you, that soup with 3 ingredients took him about 5 minutes to knock up

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by jamiejambos
    My money's on somtamslap super soupsman,
    Ye of little faith, and nads to match.

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