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  1. #1
    Thailand Expat superman's Avatar
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    Children Wai-ing

    My child wai's me and I don't like it. I prefer a hug or any show of affection. I know it's the Thai way, but that doesn't make me feel any better about it. I spoke to the wife and she said "just accept it". Unfortunately I can't. Anyone else feel the same ?

  2. #2
    Days Work Done! Norton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by superman
    My child wai's me and I don't like it. I prefer a hug or any show of affection.
    Both are preferable. A wai followed by a hug is the norm here. Cultural fusion. Talk to the wife. She should accept the practice from your own kid. Very common with Thais so why should a farang be an exception.

  3. #3
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    Everything you ever need to know about the Thai Wai.
    TeakDoor.com - The Thailand Forum Thailand_and_the_Wai

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat superman's Avatar
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    We're all born equal in my eyes and I never like to think I'm better than anyone else. The wai shows your status in life. That I disagree with. Sorry off track there.
    I'm not against my child showing respect to elders, it's just that I don't like it being done to me.

  5. #5
    better looking than Ned
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    My kids dont wai me normaly, and I would feel the same as superman if they did, bit like shaking your kids hand.

  6. #6
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    Little 'un doesn't wai me because he knows it's for retards.

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat superman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rigger
    My kids dont wai me normaly, and I would feel the same as superman if they did, bit like shaking your kids hand.
    Exactly 'Rigger'. It's our custom to shake hands but how many shake their childs hand when they collect them from school in their mother country ? I believe wai-ing to be forced on the child. There is a regional component to tradition and wai-ing others. Other than Isaan, it's hardly used at all in Thailand. So I understand.

  8. #8
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    Geeze, stop moaning, a wai followed by a hug sounded like a good compromise to me.

  9. #9
    Thailand Expat superman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Wilson
    Geeze, stop moaning, a wai followed by a hug sounded like a good compromise to me.
    It is but I'd rather just have the hug.

  10. #10
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    I'm with superman here.
    The wai seems a bit formal (especially from your own kid).
    A big hug and sniff kiss beats a wai any day of the week.
    Thai culture and all that jazz, but if your in a 50/50 realationship then your culture should be taken into consideration aswell and adapted into your "homelife".
    Can understand in social situations when you have to tow the line Thai cultre wise, but at home I would try to instill / educate my child on the richness and traditions of my own culture.
    My 2 bahts worth(less)..............
    Black diamonds? I shit 'em.

  11. #11
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    Mine have never waid me....not once....they dun respect me....

    The adoptee still on parole wais me morning and night....I am getting ready to slap her. been meaning to tell her to stop it.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bogon
    A big hug and sniff kiss beats a wai any day of the week.
    Thai culture and all that jazz, but if your in a 50/50 realationship then your culture should be taken into consideration aswell and adapted into your "homelife".
    Can understand in social situations when you have to tow the line Thai cultre wise, but at home I would try to instill / educate my child on the richness and traditions of my own culture.
    so when you say 50 50 you really mean 100% your way at home.

    ok.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by superman View Post
    I know it's the Thai way, but that doesn't make me feel any better about it. I spoke to the wife and she said "just accept it".
    Screw what the wife says superman, your kid should hug his dad, I've seen these emotionless brainwashed automatons wondering around the villages and it reminds me of what a frontal lobotomy dose to a person.

    You go get you hugs mate dont make any apologies for it either

  14. #14
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    The only times my daughter (11) wais me, is when she wants something. The answer is usually no. As a side note my daughter says that is the only answer I know in my vocabulary.

    Many of my daughter's friends are 50/50. Some are 100% farangs. They often wai me and I tell them (in front of their moms) that I am not Thai.

    Kids are smart, they soon learn.

  15. #15
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    A Wai shows respect - not love.

    A hug shows love - not respect.

    Two different emotions; if you get both you should be grateful - and proud.

    Patrick

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Norton
    A wai followed by a hug is the norm here
    me too

  17. #17
    Can I still change this?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Wilson
    so when you say 50 50 you really mean 100% your way at home. ok.
    No. Not really.
    When I say 50/50. I actually mean around the 50% mark each way (give or take depending on the situation).
    I could have also said "half-half" or maybe "split down the middle" what about "evens"?
    Hope that clears thing up.
    Next time you wanna try and put words in my mouth could you back it up with a few quotes and facts?
    Helpful for the readers and all that.
    You seem like a nice bloke, but please try to refrain from trying to assume what I mean.
    Last edited by Bogon; 28-05-2010 at 09:48 AM.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by superman View Post
    My child wai's me and I don't like it.
    Then exercise your dad power and tell her not to.

  19. #19
    Thailand Expat superman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dug
    Then exercise your dad power and tell her not to.
    Not easy to do when the teacher tells her to do it when I collect her from school. If you respect someone you shouldn't have to be told to do it.

  20. #20
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    I agree about the wai thing.

    Get a word with the teacher alone and tell her/him that you have no problem that your child wais in a Thai context, but want to greet and interact with your child according to your culture. Explain it is important that your child learns both systems. Doubt it will be a problem.
    Freedom does not chew bubblegum

  21. #21
    oky
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patrick View Post
    A Wai shows respect - not love.

    A hug shows love - not respect.

    Two different emotions; if you get both you should be grateful - and proud.

    Patrick
    I'm with Patrick here....

  22. #22
    Thailand Expat superman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patrick
    Two different emotions; if you get both you should be grateful - and proud.
    But only one is genuine. The other is an act that is taught when greeting an adult, and means nothing, in my book.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by superman View Post
    My child wai's me and I don't like it. I prefer a hug or any show of affection. ?
    Agree with you 100% on this one. I hate it. Its normally times like when I give the boy (he is 8) some pocket money or something, then the missus will always say "wai your daddy". Which he does. And it completely sets my teeth on edge. I always say, no need, misus always says he must. Poor little bugger caught in the middle.

    Much rather have a hug and a kiss on the cheek from him than a wai.....

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by superman View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Patrick
    Two different emotions; if you get both you should be grateful - and proud.
    But only one is genuine. The other is an act that is taught when greeting an adult, and means nothing, in my book.
    Exactly, Dad power trumps teacher power, tell her ( in the nicest way possible of course) not to Wai YOU. (others, OK, wai away)

  25. #25
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    My children have never shown me this Thai form of respect and to be fair I have never thought about it until reading the OP.

    I do like it when my children wai guests to our home and get a little upset when they forget.

    Moreover my kids are Thai and as wai~ing is a big part of everyday life I am proud when they practice this tradition.

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