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The Family Room Want to know the best place to buy baby clothing or toys, are diapers available in Thaliand? What about the best hospitals, the pitfalls of hiring a nanny or helper. How to keep teenagers amused in Bangkok, can I hire a carseat when I travel? Which children's medications are available?

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Old 27-05-2010, 06:58 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Children Wai-ing

My child wai's me and I don't like it. I prefer a hug or any show of affection. I know it's the Thai way, but that doesn't make me feel any better about it. I spoke to the wife and she said "just accept it". Unfortunately I can't. Anyone else feel the same ?
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Old 27-05-2010, 07:05 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by superman
My child wai's me and I don't like it. I prefer a hug or any show of affection.
Both are preferable. A wai followed by a hug is the norm here. Cultural fusion. Talk to the wife. She should accept the practice from your own kid. Very common with Thais so why should a farang be an exception.
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Old 27-05-2010, 07:15 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Everything you ever need to know about the Thai Wai.
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Old 27-05-2010, 07:28 PM   #4 (permalink)
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We're all born equal in my eyes and I never like to think I'm better than anyone else. The wai shows your status in life. That I disagree with. Sorry off track there.
I'm not against my child showing respect to elders, it's just that I don't like it being done to me.
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Old 27-05-2010, 07:57 PM   #5 (permalink)
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My kids dont wai me normaly, and I would feel the same as superman if they did, bit like shaking your kids hand.
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Old 27-05-2010, 08:01 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Little 'un doesn't wai me because he knows it's for retards.
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Old 27-05-2010, 08:04 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rigger
My kids dont wai me normaly, and I would feel the same as superman if they did, bit like shaking your kids hand.
Exactly 'Rigger'. It's our custom to shake hands but how many shake their childs hand when they collect them from school in their mother country ? I believe wai-ing to be forced on the child. There is a regional component to tradition and wai-ing others. Other than Isaan, it's hardly used at all in Thailand. So I understand.
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Old 27-05-2010, 08:08 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Geeze, stop moaning, a wai followed by a hug sounded like a good compromise to me.
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Old 27-05-2010, 08:12 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Wilson
Geeze, stop moaning, a wai followed by a hug sounded like a good compromise to me.
It is but I'd rather just have the hug.
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Old 27-05-2010, 09:06 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I'm with superman here.
The wai seems a bit formal (especially from your own kid).
A big hug and sniff kiss beats a wai any day of the week.
Thai culture and all that jazz, but if your in a 50/50 realationship then your culture should be taken into consideration aswell and adapted into your "homelife".
Can understand in social situations when you have to tow the line Thai cultre wise, but at home I would try to instill / educate my child on the richness and traditions of my own culture.
My 2 bahts worth(less)..............
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Old 27-05-2010, 09:22 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Mine have never waid me....not once....they dun respect me....

The adoptee still on parole wais me morning and night....I am getting ready to slap her. been meaning to tell her to stop it.
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Old 27-05-2010, 10:41 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bogon
A big hug and sniff kiss beats a wai any day of the week.
Thai culture and all that jazz, but if your in a 50/50 realationship then your culture should be taken into consideration aswell and adapted into your "homelife".
Can understand in social situations when you have to tow the line Thai cultre wise, but at home I would try to instill / educate my child on the richness and traditions of my own culture.
so when you say 50 50 you really mean 100% your way at home.

ok.
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Old 28-05-2010, 12:50 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by superman View Post
I know it's the Thai way, but that doesn't make me feel any better about it. I spoke to the wife and she said "just accept it".
Screw what the wife says superman, your kid should hug his dad, I've seen these emotionless brainwashed automatons wondering around the villages and it reminds me of what a frontal lobotomy dose to a person.

You go get you hugs mate dont make any apologies for it either
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Old 28-05-2010, 04:59 AM   #14 (permalink)
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The only times my daughter (11) wais me, is when she wants something. The answer is usually no. As a side note my daughter says that is the only answer I know in my vocabulary.

Many of my daughter's friends are 50/50. Some are 100% farangs. They often wai me and I tell them (in front of their moms) that I am not Thai.

Kids are smart, they soon learn.
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Old 28-05-2010, 08:59 AM   #15 (permalink)
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A Wai shows respect - not love.

A hug shows love - not respect.

Two different emotions; if you get both you should be grateful - and proud.

Patrick
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Old 28-05-2010, 09:11 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Norton
A wai followed by a hug is the norm here
me too
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Old 28-05-2010, 09:23 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Wilson
so when you say 50 50 you really mean 100% your way at home. ok.
No. Not really.
When I say 50/50. I actually mean around the 50% mark each way (give or take depending on the situation).
I could have also said "half-half" or maybe "split down the middle" what about "evens"?
Hope that clears thing up.
Next time you wanna try and put words in my mouth could you back it up with a few quotes and facts?
Helpful for the readers and all that.
You seem like a nice bloke, but please try to refrain from trying to assume what I mean.

Last edited by Bogon : 28-05-2010 at 09:48 AM.
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Old 28-05-2010, 09:24 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by superman View Post
My child wai's me and I don't like it.
Then exercise your dad power and tell her not to.
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Old 28-05-2010, 10:27 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dug
Then exercise your dad power and tell her not to.
Not easy to do when the teacher tells her to do it when I collect her from school. If you respect someone you shouldn't have to be told to do it.
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Old 28-05-2010, 11:31 AM   #20 (permalink)
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I agree about the wai thing.

Get a word with the teacher alone and tell her/him that you have no problem that your child wais in a Thai context, but want to greet and interact with your child according to your culture. Explain it is important that your child learns both systems. Doubt it will be a problem.
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Old 28-05-2010, 12:08 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick View Post
A Wai shows respect - not love.

A hug shows love - not respect.

Two different emotions; if you get both you should be grateful - and proud.

Patrick
I'm with Patrick here....
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Old 28-05-2010, 12:51 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick
Two different emotions; if you get both you should be grateful - and proud.
But only one is genuine. The other is an act that is taught when greeting an adult, and means nothing, in my book.
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Old 28-05-2010, 01:39 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by superman View Post
My child wai's me and I don't like it. I prefer a hug or any show of affection. ?
Agree with you 100% on this one. I hate it. Its normally times like when I give the boy (he is 8) some pocket money or something, then the missus will always say "wai your daddy". Which he does. And it completely sets my teeth on edge. I always say, no need, misus always says he must. Poor little bugger caught in the middle.

Much rather have a hug and a kiss on the cheek from him than a wai.....
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Old 28-05-2010, 01:44 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by superman View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick
Two different emotions; if you get both you should be grateful - and proud.
But only one is genuine. The other is an act that is taught when greeting an adult, and means nothing, in my book.
Exactly, Dad power trumps teacher power, tell her ( in the nicest way possible of course) not to Wai YOU. (others, OK, wai away)
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Old 28-05-2010, 01:57 PM   #25 (permalink)
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My children have never shown me this Thai form of respect and to be fair I have never thought about it until reading the OP.

I do like it when my children wai guests to our home and get a little upset when they forget.

Moreover my kids are Thai and as wai~ing is a big part of everyday life I am proud when they practice this tradition.
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