Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 26 to 50 of 65
  1. #26
    Not an expat
    Fabian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Last Online
    04-09-2017 @ 09:31 PM
    Location
    Hamburg, cold dark Germany
    Posts
    5,381
    Quote Originally Posted by Jet Gorgon View Post
    I don't get that line, be it yours or Marmers.
    Strange, I got it.

  2. #27
    Member
    Deck Ape's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Last Online
    02-02-2022 @ 06:20 PM
    Location
    Adrift
    Posts
    610
    My son wants to be a superhero when he grows up. Good work if you can get it. Anyways he runs around doing Ultraman poses all the time, sometimes he does jumps, too. Well the other day he jumped, fell, and smacked his elbow. He tells us " I don't want to be Ultraman anymore; it hurts to be Ultraman" 555

  3. #28
    Thailand Expat
    Marmite the Dog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Last Online
    08-09-2014 @ 10:43 AM
    Location
    Simian Islands
    Posts
    34,827
    Quote Originally Posted by November Rain
    You'd have to ask Marmers about his - I'm assuming the young ladies he meets don't wear many clothes while at work...
    They do actually. I don't like bars with naked ladies in; I find it all a bit boring. And, there's nothing quite like the first time you puts your hands down the front of a young woman's knickers.

  4. #29
    Thailand Expat
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    59,983
    background info.

    Many mums in Aussie prefer their boys to play soccer rather than rugby or aussie rules as it is less likely they will get hurt. (due to the rough tackles etc) My sons mother is no exception. She had him enrolled in soccer team last season.

    this season he didnt want to play soccer, so I rang him to ask what is going on....


    Me: Hey mate, mum says you dont want to play soccer anymore...?
    HIM: Yeah that's right.
    Me: Why is that?
    HIM: cos Dad., I wanna play footy instead...



    Since this is the most popular sport south of QLD it didnt surprise me. peer pressure or something I guessed....

    Me: Is it because all your friends are playing footy?
    HIM: Nope., its cos I am really good at tackling!

    - his mums worst fear!

    Proud DAd

  5. #30
    Tiger Bay
    CharleyFarley's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Last Online
    27-01-2011 @ 01:57 AM
    Location
    aberthin
    Posts
    1,722
    My son at 5, we are being shown around his new school by the headmaster, when he blurts out, 'Hey Dad, he's got the same shoes as you !"

    We were both wearing very distinctive brogues

  6. #31
    Boxed Member
    Nawty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Last Online
    20-04-2015 @ 07:37 PM
    Location
    in a state of mind
    Posts
    9,709
    My son when 3yo in the back of a taxi...

    taxi driver swerved to miss a bike suddenly...

    My son..."fucking idiot"

  7. #32
    I am in Jail

    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Last Online
    22-11-2011 @ 08:27 AM
    Location
    Christian Country
    Posts
    15,017
    Kids answering the phone are precious.
    Hello?
    Hi, is your mom there?
    Um....who are you?
    Dores.
    Oh, she no want talk you.
    Click.

    Gotta love that brutal honesty.

  8. #33
    Fag an bealac!
    flash's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Last Online
    03-09-2017 @ 06:32 PM
    Location
    53 00 N, 8 00 W
    Posts
    2,343
    I phoned a friends house once and his 4 year old answered the phone, before i could say hello she said, are you my daddy.
    i took a hot flush, thats scary!

  9. #34
    The cold, wet one
    November Rain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Last Online
    31-03-2015 @ 03:06 PM
    Location
    In my happy place
    Posts
    12,202
    The latest from my smart-alec son.

    Background - he sleeps with his poodle & a pup who has thin bone syndrome & who (sadly) had his jaw badly broken by another of my dogs, has had it wired & can't be in contact with other dogs for the time being.

    Went through to kitchen (his room backs onto kitchen) & heard him talking to dogs when he's supposed to be asleep. I 'told' FooFoo (the poodle) to tell him to go to sleep. He said "I don't listen to her. She's a girl.". So, I 'told' Phil, the pup to tell him to go to sleep. " He can't talk, Mummy. His jaw's broke!"


    I give up!

  10. #35
    On a walkabout Loy Toy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    30,531
    My ex- girlfriend leach called today, or at least her name come up on my telephone and I made my way into the girls bedroom to give the still ringing telephone to her daughter (our daughter Nam Wan).

    My other 5 year old daughter immediately enquired, "Wan's mummy wants more money Daddy"?

    I was stuck for words and then she said "why doesn't Wan's mummy get a job like every other mummy and daddy".

    Better let my 5 year old answer her calls from now on.

  11. #36
    Thailand Expat jandajoy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Last Online
    02-11-2016 @ 08:50 AM
    Posts
    19,595
    Fock sakes, how does Wan feel now?

  12. #37
    On a walkabout Loy Toy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    30,531
    Quote Originally Posted by jandajoy
    Fock sakes, how does Wan feel now?
    She knows exactly what her mother is like and has adjusted and accepted the way things are thankfully.

    Better she knows the truth and at 12 she's old enough. Really nothing anyone can do and with the situation the way it is but make the best of it.

  13. #38
    Thailand Expat jandajoy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Last Online
    02-11-2016 @ 08:50 AM
    Posts
    19,595
    Hmmm. Maybe.

  14. #39
    Thailand Expat nedwalk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Last Online
    28-02-2020 @ 11:00 AM
    Location
    sunshine coast
    Posts
    7,714
    old mate is here from chaing mai, checking up on this and that, we went out to one of his rentals, bunch of ferals liveing there they have a young fella of about 6years of age, as i,m unloading the ute and old mate it is talking to the tennant, the young kid up and spouts 'damian [boyfriend] has just punched a hole in the wall" i fell over pissing meself laughing the poor shiela just went so red, i bet she wanted to punt the little bugger to across the road and damian well he just hid in the shed, probably looking for some plaster to fix the wall!

  15. #40
    Thailand Expat
    BigRed's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Last Online
    10-07-2018 @ 02:43 AM
    Location
    Hope Valley nr. Sheffield
    Posts
    1,112
    Quote Originally Posted by nedwalk
    old mate is here from chaing mai, checking up on this and that, we went out to one of his rentals, bunch of ferals liveing there they have a young fella of about 6years of age, as i,m unloading the ute and old mate it is talking to the tennant, the young kid up and spouts 'damian [boyfriend] has just punched a hole in the wall" i fell over pissing meself laughing the poor shiela just went so red, i bet she wanted to punt the little bugger to across the road and damian well he just hid in the shed, probably looking for some plaster to fix the wall!
    is this in english or am I pissed?

  16. #41
    Tax Consultant
    Thormaturge's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Bangkok
    Posts
    9,890
    This was 1978 when I had just bought my first apartment in the UK.

    Sitting in a laundrette a woman entered with two young children, one about 2 y/o and the other about five.

    Mother told the 5 y/o she was goijg to get her some chocolate, and the 5 y/o had to look after the laundry (the urgency of the chocolate purchase becomes apparent).

    Mother departs.

    5 y/o then duly informs me:

    "My mummy isn't married"
    "My daddy left her"
    "My sister has a different daddy"
    "Now mummy has another boyfriend"
    "...and he's BLACK!"

    Mummy returns with chocolate and fresh pack of cigarettes.

    The moral of this story is that you should make absolutely certain your children never speak to strangers.
    I see fish. They are everywhere. They don't know they are fish.

  17. #42
    Newbie

    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Last Online
    13-05-2013 @ 06:16 PM
    Posts
    41
    After several days of teaching my young son his address and phone number, for security purposes, he finally had it down pat and proudly recited it when asked. However, when asked how could he use this new found information he quickly replied without a seconds hesitation, "Well, I can now call the pizza man".

  18. #43
    Thailand Expat
    DrAndy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Last Online
    25-03-2014 @ 05:29 PM
    Location
    yes
    Posts
    32,025
    I was with my wife and daughters in the crowded supermarket

    One of them shouted out "Mummy, why does Daddy have a wobbly?"

    Amused looks from the mainly female shoppers, red face

  19. #44
    Thailand Expat
    Marmite the Dog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Last Online
    08-09-2014 @ 10:43 AM
    Location
    Simian Islands
    Posts
    34,827
    Quote Originally Posted by BigRed
    is this in english or am I pissed?
    Aussie.

  20. #45
    Thailand Expat
    Whiteshiva's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Last Online
    13-11-2023 @ 06:03 AM
    Location
    Nontaburi
    Posts
    4,633
    Quote Originally Posted by DrAndy View Post
    I was with my wife and daughters in the crowded supermarket

    One of them shouted out "Mummy, why does Daddy have a wobbly?"

    Amused looks from the mainly female shoppers, red face
    My wife informes me that my 3-year olds have proudly announced that "daddy has a big joo" to both their kindergarden teacher, the sister-in-law and the maid.

    It is the kind of marketing I could well do without....

  21. #46
    The cold, wet one
    November Rain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Last Online
    31-03-2015 @ 03:06 PM
    Location
    In my happy place
    Posts
    12,202
    My birthday's coming up & I was teasingly discussing the fact that I never get a present from littl'un with him & my Mum.

    Littl'un: I've got money, Mummy. I've got song loy baht. I'll buy you a present.

    Me: Oh? And what are you going to buy me? Racing cars?

    Littl'un: No, Mummy, it's for you, not me. I'll buy you wine!


    Ooops.

  22. #47
    Not an expat
    Fabian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Last Online
    04-09-2017 @ 09:31 PM
    Location
    Hamburg, cold dark Germany
    Posts
    5,381
    That will be some nice drop for 200 baht and you know you have to drink it with a smiling face.

  23. #48
    Boxed Member
    Nawty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Last Online
    20-04-2015 @ 07:37 PM
    Location
    in a state of mind
    Posts
    9,709
    'daddy why are there so many hairs in your nose'

  24. #49
    Thailand Expat
    Takeovers's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Last Online
    Today @ 01:36 PM
    Location
    Berlin Germany
    Posts
    7,058
    My son was in the stage of his language developement, where he used only one or two word expressions, but not yet full sentences.
    One day I was driving with my son in the back. I approached a crossing with traffic lights at red light rather speedy, because I knew the light would switch green on time. So it did but in the moment I passed the lights two cars came from the left and the right at similar high speeds. Had I been in there 1/2 second earlier it would have been a nasty if not deadly crash.

    While I tried to recover from that shock, my son came up with his take on the situation with his first ever full sentence.

    Boom, papa buys new car.

    I'm not likely to ever forget that before the onset of Alzheimers.

  25. #50
    Member
    HollyGoodhead's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Last Online
    12-10-2017 @ 01:56 PM
    Posts
    997

    The Cute/Funny Stuff that kids do or say

    Following on from BigRed's thread, I thought it might be nice to have a thread about cute and funny stuff that kids do or say. I don't have kids myself and don't spend any time with any but i like hearing amusing stories about other people's kids.

    It's quite funny how kids just say exactly what's on their mind so honest The other day I was getting some shopping for my Grandad, and he loves milk so I had 10 2 litre bottles at the checkout. Some kid walks past and shouts to his mother in amazement "look at all the milk she's buying!!". T'was quite funny.

    So has anyone got any funny tales?
    and he just stands there, waiting for me to drive my truck straight through him, with LIGHT coming out of his mouth!

Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •