My son wants to be a superhero when he grows up. Good work if you can get it. Anyways he runs around doing Ultraman poses all the time, sometimes he does jumps, too. Well the other day he jumped, fell, and smacked his elbow. He tells us " I don't want to be Ultraman anymore; it hurts to be Ultraman" 555
They do actually. I don't like bars with naked ladies in; I find it all a bit boring. And, there's nothing quite like the first time you puts your hands down the front of a young woman's knickers.Originally Posted by November Rain
background info.
Many mums in Aussie prefer their boys to play soccer rather than rugby or aussie rules as it is less likely they will get hurt. (due to the rough tackles etc) My sons mother is no exception. She had him enrolled in soccer team last season.
this season he didnt want to play soccer, so I rang him to ask what is going on....
Me: Hey mate, mum says you dont want to play soccer anymore...?
HIM: Yeah that's right.
Me: Why is that?
HIM: cos Dad., I wanna play footy instead...
Since this is the most popular sport south of QLD it didnt surprise me. peer pressure or something I guessed....
Me: Is it because all your friends are playing footy?
HIM: Nope., its cos I am really good at tackling!
- his mums worst fear!
Proud DAd
My son at 5, we are being shown around his new school by the headmaster, when he blurts out, 'Hey Dad, he's got the same shoes as you !"
We were both wearing very distinctive brogues
My son when 3yo in the back of a taxi...
taxi driver swerved to miss a bike suddenly...
My son..."fucking idiot"
Kids answering the phone are precious.
Hello?
Hi, is your mom there?
Um....who are you?
Dores.
Oh, she no want talk you.
Click.
Gotta love that brutal honesty.
I phoned a friends house once and his 4 year old answered the phone, before i could say hello she said, are you my daddy.
i took a hot flush, thats scary!
The latest from my smart-alec son.
Background - he sleeps with his poodle & a pup who has thin bone syndrome & who (sadly) had his jaw badly broken by another of my dogs, has had it wired & can't be in contact with other dogs for the time being.
Went through to kitchen (his room backs onto kitchen) & heard him talking to dogs when he's supposed to be asleep. I 'told' FooFoo (the poodle) to tell him to go to sleep. He said "I don't listen to her. She's a girl.". So, I 'told' Phil, the pup to tell him to go to sleep. " He can't talk, Mummy. His jaw's broke!"
I give up!
My ex- girlfriend leach called today, or at least her name come up on my telephone and I made my way into the girls bedroom to give the still ringing telephone to her daughter (our daughter Nam Wan).
My other 5 year old daughter immediately enquired, "Wan's mummy wants more money Daddy"?
I was stuck for words and then she said "why doesn't Wan's mummy get a job like every other mummy and daddy".
Better let my 5 year old answer her calls from now on.
Fock sakes, how does Wan feel now?
She knows exactly what her mother is like and has adjusted and accepted the way things are thankfully.Originally Posted by jandajoy
Better she knows the truth and at 12 she's old enough. Really nothing anyone can do and with the situation the way it is but make the best of it.
old mate is here from chaing mai, checking up on this and that, we went out to one of his rentals, bunch of ferals liveing there they have a young fella of about 6years of age, as i,m unloading the ute and old mate it is talking to the tennant, the young kid up and spouts 'damian [boyfriend] has just punched a hole in the wall" i fell over pissing meself laughing the poor shiela just went so red, i bet she wanted to punt the little bugger to across the road and damian well he just hid in the shed, probably looking for some plaster to fix the wall!
is this in english or am I pissed?Originally Posted by nedwalk
This was 1978 when I had just bought my first apartment in the UK.
Sitting in a laundrette a woman entered with two young children, one about 2 y/o and the other about five.
Mother told the 5 y/o she was goijg to get her some chocolate, and the 5 y/o had to look after the laundry (the urgency of the chocolate purchase becomes apparent).
Mother departs.
5 y/o then duly informs me:
"My mummy isn't married"
"My daddy left her"
"My sister has a different daddy"
"Now mummy has another boyfriend"
"...and he's BLACK!"
Mummy returns with chocolate and fresh pack of cigarettes.
The moral of this story is that you should make absolutely certain your children never speak to strangers.
I see fish. They are everywhere. They don't know they are fish.
After several days of teaching my young son his address and phone number, for security purposes, he finally had it down pat and proudly recited it when asked. However, when asked how could he use this new found information he quickly replied without a seconds hesitation, "Well, I can now call the pizza man".
I was with my wife and daughters in the crowded supermarket
One of them shouted out "Mummy, why does Daddy have a wobbly?"
Amused looks from the mainly female shoppers, red face
Aussie.Originally Posted by BigRed
My birthday's coming up & I was teasingly discussing the fact that I never get a present from littl'un with him & my Mum.
Littl'un: I've got money, Mummy. I've got song loy baht. I'll buy you a present.
Me: Oh? And what are you going to buy me? Racing cars?
Littl'un: No, Mummy, it's for you, not me. I'll buy you wine!
Ooops.
That will be some nice drop for 200 baht and you know you have to drink it with a smiling face.
'daddy why are there so many hairs in your nose'
My son was in the stage of his language developement, where he used only one or two word expressions, but not yet full sentences.
One day I was driving with my son in the back. I approached a crossing with traffic lights at red light rather speedy, because I knew the light would switch green on time. So it did but in the moment I passed the lights two cars came from the left and the right at similar high speeds. Had I been in there 1/2 second earlier it would have been a nasty if not deadly crash.
While I tried to recover from that shock, my son came up with his take on the situation with his first ever full sentence.
Boom, papa buys new car.
I'm not likely to ever forget that before the onset of Alzheimers.
Following on from BigRed's thread, I thought it might be nice to have a thread about cute and funny stuff that kids do or say. I don't have kids myself and don't spend any time with any but i like hearing amusing stories about other people's kids.
It's quite funny how kids just say exactly what's on their mind so honest The other day I was getting some shopping for my Grandad, and he loves milk so I had 10 2 litre bottles at the checkout. Some kid walks past and shouts to his mother in amazement "look at all the milk she's buying!!". T'was quite funny.
So has anyone got any funny tales?
and he just stands there, waiting for me to drive my truck straight through him, with LIGHT coming out of his mouth!
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)