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  1. #1
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    Your Relationship With Your Thai Mother In Law

    Let me first start by saying mods.. I looked at each and every forum to be sure I posted this in an appropriate forum. If I'm wrong do please move it wherever you like.

    Now I will pull no punches... My MIL is a full on Cnut.. Half Thai half Chinese and her husband is Singaporean Chinese. I may have mentioned before what a Cnut she is to other Thais deemed "lower" than her and her behavior towards anyone not Thai,, especially those from Burma.. Cambodia etc. I hope you know the type because I know many worse than her, But here goes.

    Overall I tend to get on with her quite well the issue is when I spend too much time around her. Infrequent visits are good for the most part but any type of extended visit she is certain to revert to her childish ways. In order to keep this short I will give just a few examples of her tyranny.

    Being that I am a westerner I have certain expectations of anyone who spends time around my children. You know simple things like if you wish to take my kids out on the town for hours on end I expect you to let me know that you're taking my children somewhere before you actually decide to leave the house. It appears that her having to notify my wife and I when she would like to take our kids somewhere is far too much to ask, evidently she should be able to do with our kids as she pleases without any type of consent,, or even a "hey I'm taking the kids here or there. Doing so would be too much hassle and not worthy of her time.

    You may be thinking that I'm unreasonable but I assure you that's not the case.. I simply ask that if you wish to take my kids out someplace that you let us know so we don't freak out when we can't find our kids. In short yes I expect her to let me know if she plans on taking them out for a shopping trip, or a walk around the fucking soi.. Not that i have a problem with her doing that my issue is you don't just take off with my kids without at least letting us know you're leaving, and where you're leaving to. I'd like to ask for an honest opinion... Is that not reasonable?

    There are many other issues similar to these which I don't mind adding after I can assess the initial opinions here... Going to keep it short incase I'm one of very few with these issues.

    So be honest... How is your relationship with your MIL? I can't be the only farang with a nasty mother on law.

  2. #2
    Sprayed On Member
    The Fresh Prince's Avatar
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    Mines great. Whenever she visits she always puts my wife straight with sayings like:

    "You should really have the house work done before TFP wakes up"
    "Always have his dinner ready when he comes home"
    "Why didn't you go to the shop to buy him some beers?"

    Etc....etc

    She always buys us nice presents and lends a helping hand when something needs to be done. She bought Aircon for my room at their house and learned how to make bacon sandwiches for my breakfast. She even learned a bit of English so she an speak to the dog.

  3. #3
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    Mines a cracker, I can say hand on heart I love her dearly.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Fresh Prince View Post
    Mines great. Whenever she visits she always puts my wife straight with sayings like:

    "You should really have the house work done before TFP wakes up"
    "Always have his dinner ready when he comes home"
    "Why didn't you go to the shop to buy him some beers?"

    Etc....etc

    She always buys us nice presents and lends a helping hand when something needs to be done. She bought Aircon for my room at their house and learned how to make bacon sandwiches for my breakfast. She even learned a bit of English so she an speak to the dog.
    That is pretty amazing sir... I must admit that I envy you in this regard. My MIL speaks English fluently and still she speaks Thai anytime her husband isn't around.. My FIL is a good guy and we get along no problem, So long as his wife isn't giving him shit.

    I dare say,, at risk of being called numerous different insults.. That my mother in law is best defined as "uppity". Sorry but that's the best description I can give without being far more insulting and vulgar.

  5. #5
    On a walkabout Loy Toy's Avatar
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    I don't have a relationship with mine.

    She's banned.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by daveboy View Post
    Mines a cracker, I can say hand on heart I love her dearly.
    You're married to a white woman? Or your wife is half Thai? I should add that my wife's family is great.. All of them, cousins uncles .. Grandparents.. All are wonderful.. Aside from my MIL.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loy Toy View Post
    I don't have a relationship with mine.

    She's banned.
    Banned? Please elaborate... If you banned her from your home I could understand.

  8. #8
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    Mine is one of the nicest people I've ever known.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Fresh Prince View Post
    Mines great. Whenever she visits she always puts my wife straight with sayings like:

    "You should really have the house work done before TFP wakes up"
    "Always have his dinner ready when he comes home"
    "Why didn't you go to the shop to buy him some beers?"

    Etc....etc

    She always buys us nice presents and lends a helping hand when something needs to be done. She bought Aircon for my room at their house and learned how to make bacon sandwiches for my breakfast. She even learned a bit of English so she an speak to the dog.
    I wish I could Green you for that, but it turns out I've given out too much repo in the last 24 hours so could you do me a favour instead and red xanax. Please.

  10. #10
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    I'm on my phone so can't green red or quote.

  11. #11
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    Tbh, out of all my inlaws, my Mil is the one I trust the most. She`s a full on Buddha botherer, always willing to have a chat and has never asked us for a bean. Sorry to hear yours isnt the similar Nokturnal.

  12. #12
    I am in Jail

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    Whilst we were staying with the inlaws I did have a lot of time for mine.
    Her heart was in the right place to a certain extent and she done her best to accommodate me!
    I know where your coming from,its a bit like me making my kids toast at 6.30am,only to find her already filling them with chocolate
    WAN! yes I'm aware its sweet but it aint breakfast!!
    Never sunk in and drove me around the bend.

  13. #13
    On a walkabout Loy Toy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nokturnal
    Banned? Please elaborate... If you banned her from your home I could understand.
    My wife banned her and rightly so. I didn't argue the point, just a nasty person who doesn't deserve to share anything with us including seeing her grandchildren.

    Water under the bridge mate and best left there.

  14. #14
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    Mine's great and her husband, theyre both the Missus step parents, as her real Mom and Dad both passed away when she was quite young,
    Although as the same with many on here i reckon, i dont understand wtf they are talking about when they come round

  15. #15
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    You're married to a white woman?
    No Thai.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loy Toy View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Nokturnal
    Banned? Please elaborate... If you banned her from your home I could understand.
    My wife banned her and rightly so. I didn't argue the point, just a nasty person who doesn't deserve to share anything with us including seeing her grandchildren.

    Water under the bridge mate and best left there.
    My wife is pretty Atypical regarding this issue.. She will battle her mother fearlessly but if I so much as look at her with discontent in the bad guy.

    In my opinion..western families use discipline... Consequences as a means of steering someone in a better direction.. Not the case with my MIL and wife... My in laws use guilt ...and use it to the max. This puts my wife in a tough spot and I can appreciate that. My opinion is this... When you marry and start a family your loyalty is first and foremost to your husband and kids... Otherwise why take the vows?

    My wife is more concerned about upsetting her mother/family than she is her husband and children. I know that she feels a huge obligation to her parents.. As do many Thai's. and that's done with me.. Except for the fact that when you marry your slide and children should be number one... As all else after that is number 2-3-4-5 etc.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by daveboy View Post
    You're married to a white woman?
    No Thai.
    Ok then how is your MIL a "cracker"?

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nokturnal View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by daveboy View Post
    You're married to a white woman?
    No Thai.
    Ok then how is your MIL a "cracker"?
    It's slang for wonderful where I'm from.

  19. #19
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  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by daveboy View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Nokturnal View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by daveboy View Post
    You're married to a white woman?
    No Thai.
    Ok then how is your MIL a "cracker"?
    It's slang for wonderful where I'm from.
    Must be a servant of her majesty I suppose.

    In my experience cracker is always a derogatory remark.

    Having said that god bless your cracker mum.

  21. #21
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    Thanks, hope yours burns in hell

  22. #22
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    Is she fit Nokturnal? That's one of the important things.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by sabang View Post
    Mine is one of the nicest people I've ever known.

    Then why do you keep her in a cage on the side of the house?

  24. #24
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    My Thai MIL is deceased, so my relationship with her is great, wonderful, couldn't be better.

  25. #25
    I'm in Jail

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    Mines great, she is actually younger than me as well so i will likely cark it first and wont have to support her in her old age , When she comes around you cant get her out of the kitchen, Bloody good cook to, Treats me like a god. Absolutely adores her grandkids, doesnt ask for a bean, A lovely woman

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