I'm hard put to describe my relationship with my MIL.

I suppose she is pretty kind hearted and adores my daughter (her only grandchild). She doesn't ask for help very often but that's probably because my wife and the other two sisters take very good care of Thai mum and dad as i don't even ask what my missus sends them and the other two sisters have very good jobs and stay at home.

My problem is that my Thai MIL is just the most ignorant person i have ever met in my life. She left the village outside Korat for the first time in her life when my wife gave birth to our daughter and she came to Pattaya to ostensibly take care off my wife for the first couple months. At first i couldn't get her in the lift in the hospital to go up and see her daughter as she was scared. I put her on the escalator and she screamed when it started at the top of her lungs and dived off onto the floor. I had to end up walking 5 stories up (10 flights of stairs) with her which was the first and last time.

I came back home to find she had been brewing up Plaa La in my inside kitchen and i about spewed. I stayed in the nearby hotel myself that night cos of the stink.

I had 6 people flying over from UK, and 8 folk from Singapore to attend our village wedding on Feb 1st 7 years ago as that was the only date i could get everyone together and believe me that took a fair bit of sorting out. Only to hear that the MIL had been to the monks and they told her that Feb 20th was the best and luckiest day for us to get married. I told my wife to tell her to fuck off, but then she started a campaign against my wife saying that the wedding will be doomed before it begins etc etc etc, not out of malice, just out of ignorance. Got it sorted in the end as i later learned my father in law had a word with the monks and told them the problems this was causing and they then told the MIL that the 1st actually wasn't that bad a day. Only then was she happy.

Many, many instances like this that drives me batty, but the ultimate (and this led her to run out of the house after seeing my face as i really think i would have fucking choked her, was that my daughter was quite late in stopping wetting the bed as a young girl. MIL had a word with a village crone who told her to capture a baby scorpion, break off it's tail and claws and give to my daughter to eat (which she did apparently in floods of tears) and that would work.

I went fucking ballistic, absolutely apeshit at this. Now whenever we visit and i walk in the room the MIL disappears. If she wants to spend time with my daughter then she can do so ONLY if supervised by the father in law or one of the daughters. When i had calmed down see, i had a serious discussion with my wife and laid out these ground rules. If they EVER get broken then that's the last she will ever see of her grand daughter again.

Harsh perhaps, but the way i saw it what was next on the idiots agenda?

Dave B
p.s. She broke 2 western toilets in my house squatting on the seats the fat cow.