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  1. #1
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    Cujo's Avatar
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    The things kids say and do.

    There've been some absolute classics over the years and i've been meaning to start this thread for ages, but last night was the straw that broke the camels back.

    So we're walking home from school and he (almost 7) starts talking about 'poisonous air'
    is there any such thing. So I explained to him about gas, and how the gas we cook with is poisonous and if he smells it to hold his breath and go outside or open windows and doors, which led to the topic of infammability and i explained how if you left the gas on for long enough then lit a match the house would blow up, which led to fart gas and methane and how methane is also inflammable.

    Now when he feels the need to fart he runs around checking for naked flames for fear of farting and blowing us all to smithereens.
    "In my professional assessment as an intelligence officer, Trump has a reflexive, defensive, monumentally narcissistic personality, for whom the facts and national interest are irrelevant, and the only thing that counts is whatever gives personal advantage and directs attention to himself."

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Koojo
    Now when he feels the need to fart he runs around checking for naked flames for fear of farting and blowing us all to smithereens.
    haha, that is very cute. Everyday I am amazed at what things come out of the mouth of babes. I teach grades three to six, and I always get a smile out of them and from them as well.

    Like today I was teaching about body parts to my grade four students. I asked them, 'how many feet do we have?' One boy sitting in the front row yelled out, 'eight'! I'm pretty sure he meant two, but for some reason eight came out of his mouth. Everyone laughed and then others chimed in the correct answer. We all had a good laugh today.

    I can write something on this thread everyday. Great thread idea.

  3. #3
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    Dont hold back koojo tell them how you really feel. lol.

    I live around many kids here. Nieces and nephews, cousins, neighborhood children, and wifes youngest daughter. The stuff they do and say makes me laugh everyday. They all love to mess with the friendly falang that actually plays around with them. When I first came to the village they wouldn't come near me now if they sleep at our house they want to sleep with the wife and I.

    I will have to keep an eye out for things to post here.
    I'm not saying it was Aliens, but it was Aliens!

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by beazalbob69 View Post
    When I first came to the village they wouldn't come near me.
    you must be one ugly ogre then

    When I first went to stay in a village up near Kanchanaburi, whenever I went out for a walk down to the the local shop there were 3 young girls about 5 years old that would come out and want to walk with me. Each wanted to hold my hand as we walked, and of course only having 2 hands the 3rd was always lurking, just waiting for one of the others to loosen a grip for a moment so they could dive in to take over.

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    4.30am this morning at the dawn service watching the soldiers take up their posts My Miss 5 says "are they the soldiers who made it home from Gallipoli. Before I could answer my Miss 7 says "no, don't be silly - they are all dead".

    This was in front of 1,000 people all in complete silence.
    News is what someone, somewhere is trying to suppress - everything else is just advertising.

  6. #6
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    I guess I'm not really allowed to join in on this being a teacher, but the funniest stuff is the personal shit they tell me about their parents, so when you come in whining about not enough homework, too much homework, the right amount but the wrong type of homework i smile, nod and try not to laugh about the stuff your kids have told me.
    I'd like to see what morning looks like
    Don't wanna drink pint after pint
    I wanna wake up without feeling sick
    But I can't cuz I'm a drug-abusing alcoholic

  7. #7
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    ^ bastard..I hope you signed the secrecy act

    anyway, as I am not a teacher I can contribute

    I had let my hair grow quite long, being lazy, so I went out and had a no2 buzzcut

    when I got home, my daughter aged three said "I have a new daddy"
    I have reported your post

  8. #8
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    When I was a kid I used to pull some of the legs off beetles and then leave them near the entrance to an ants nest so I could watch the injured beetle being overpowered by ants and dragged down the entrance hole to its certain death.


  9. #9
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    this thread has a good topic but has not taken off, for some reason

    anyway, I took my daughter for a walk around one of the beautiful Chiang Mai temples to look at the various sculptures etc which she likes

    we came across a photoshoot; the subject being a beautiful woman dressed in a wedding dress, all looking very romantic and lovely

    my daughter grabbed my hand and said "Look Daddy, a princess!"

    she likes bedtime stories with princesses

    she went home and told everyone about the princess she had seen

  10. #10
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    When my twins were almost 3, I was passing the stairs when I noted large amounts of water, pouring down the stairs. Up I go to find my daughter, having stuffed two rolls of toilet paper into the toilet, flushing away with great glee. Snatching her up I shouted at her. "That is NOT a toy!!!!!" She looked at me calmly and replied, "Well, it's a toy-let."

    That's when I first was certain I was in trouble..........

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Looper View Post
    When I was a kid I used to pull some of the legs off beetles and then leave them near the entrance to an ants nest so I could watch the injured beetle being overpowered by ants and dragged down the entrance hole to its certain death.

    Definite serial-killer potential at an early age there mate. Jeezus..

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Looper View Post
    When I was a kid I used to pull some of the legs off beetles and then leave them near the entrance to an ants nest so I could watch the injured beetle being overpowered by ants and dragged down the entrance hole to its certain death.

    We're more refering to the cute things your kids say and do.
    Not the evil shit dameon got up to.

  13. #13
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    When my youngest son was about three, we met up with a friend whilst in town, my friend said to my son 'you must come around home soon and meet our new baby' to which my son burst into tears, my son son then asked me ' what have these bad people done to the old baby ?..........

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrAndy View Post
    this thread has a good topic but has not taken off, for some reason

    anyway, I took my daughter for a walk around one of the beautiful Chiang Mai temples to look at the various sculptures etc which she likes

    we came across a photoshoot; the subject being a beautiful woman dressed in a wedding dress, all looking very romantic and lovely

    my daughter grabbed my hand and said "Look Daddy, a princess!"

    she likes bedtime stories with princesses

    she went home and told everyone about the princess she had seen

    gee I wonder why with shit stories like that

  15. #15
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    "Whoever thought of maths is a jerk."

    (9 year old studying long division for tests next week)



    This is the sort of thing that's going on in his head when he's looking at a math problem.
    Last edited by Cujo; 01-07-2015 at 10:51 PM.

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