Neighbor just hosed me in the face (yapping Poodle issue)

**jaywalker** · 13-06-2011, 04:44 AM

My Farang neighbor just shot me in the face with a water hose, thru the safety of his fence.

My offense??? He has a poodle that yaps and yaps and yaps all night long.

Tonight was about the 15th time over 6 months I (in EXTREMELY POLITE terms) I asked "Could you please put your dog inside your house? Please? He is barking all night and I can not sleep"

The dog is constantly in my yard and shits in my driveway.

not making this up.

This is a place where the houses go for 6-10 million baht....not in the ghetto here.....we're just jammed together.

on my 15th or so request to "please put your dog inside" the old geezer puts a water hose in my face (thru the fence) and shoots me in the face with it, then threatens to come whup my a$$ in the street.

He's 68. I'm 44. He declined and just kept up his water hose defense.

I swear to God the only thing I did was ring their doorbell when the dog was keeping me awake, and ever so politely asked them if they could put the dog inside.

The gloves are off on this one. It isn't the dog's fault, but he'll wind up either dead or dropped off at some temple far, far away.

What a prick..........he squirted me in the face with a water hose from behind his gate.....What a puss.

Jay

**Periphiral Vision** · 13-06-2011, 05:06 AM

Have to admit that is quite funny, but I bet your really pissed off.
Violence is never a good way to solve anything, you just have to be smart and cunning.
Try spiking the grumpy old git with some magic mushrooms. A bad trip will leave him a quivering, dribbleing idiot for life and he may even eat his Dog.

**seamus48** · 13-06-2011, 05:10 AM

Go dog turd hunting and fill his garden, drive and doorstep with 'em. We had a neighbour like this once. His feckin' dog kept crapping in our garden, often while the neighbour looked on! Missus caught him polishing his car while his feckin' dog curled down a big Mr Whippy on our lawn about 10 feet away. She walked out, scooped it up, walked round and flung it (using the small shovelly thing) right into and all over the inside of the shiny BMW Convertable (with the top down) he was working on. Feckin' priceless!! Then she just stared him out until he scuttled off indoors calling the dog.

LMFARO!!!!

**jaywalker** · 13-06-2011, 05:13 AM

Yeah............just gotta laugh at it. I was fuming last night though.

**jaywalker** · 13-06-2011, 05:14 AM

Originally Posted by seamus48

Go dog turd hunting and fill his garden, drive and doorstep with 'em. We had a neighbour like this once. His feckin' dog kept crapping in our garden, often while the neighbour looked on! Missus caught him polishing his car while his feckin' dog curled down a big Mr Whippy on our lawn about 10 feet away. She walked out, scooped it up, walked round and flung it (using the small shovelly thing) right into and all over the inside of the shiny BMW Convertable (with the top down) he was working on. Feckin' priceless!! Then she just stared him out until he scuttled off indoors calling the dog.

LMFARO!!!!

Priceless!!!!

Why didn't I think of this????

I have a Golden Retriever & she lays some logs. I am extraordinarily adamant that she not bark all night long, nor shit in my neighbors yard, nor do anything at all to be remotely offensive to anybody at all.

I love a well trained, well-behaved dog.

Dog-log bombs over the fence...........with any luck they'll land in his swimming pool!

**seamus48** · 13-06-2011, 05:23 AM

Yarp.. she didn't say a word... just did the deed and then stared him out contemptously... I fair near pissed meself laughing after spitting a gobfull of sunday afternoon ale all over my book!

Best bit was that the following weekend he repaired all the holes in the fence between us to stop his dog getting through to our side. God I still get a real belly laugh out of it.. balls of steel or what! That's why I'm never late home form the pub... or at if I am, that

**seamus48** · 13-06-2011, 05:25 AM

Yarp.. she didn't say a word... just did the deed and then stared him out contemptously... I fair near pissed meself laughing after spitting a gobfull of sunday afternoon ale all over my book!

Best bit was that the following weekend he repaired all the holes in the fence between us to stop his dog getting through to our side. He never, ever, mentioned it though. God I still get a real belly laugh out of it.. balls of steel or what! That's why I'm never late home from the pub... or at least if I am, I make sure that I am so trolleyed that I can't feel the blows.

Bugger... double posting error thingy arising from fast 'n fat fingers.. .. sorry peeps.

**seamus48** · 13-06-2011, 05:31 AM

Actually, I've got one of those muzzie mosque alarm clock thingies that sets up a hideous wailing call to prayer type feckin' racket. You could borrow that and set it off outside his window all night until he gets the message... or pay a local motosai somchai to rev the ass off his 'hog' at all hours of the night on his driveway..

**jaywalker** · 13-06-2011, 05:42 AM

Originally Posted by seamus48

Actually, I've got one of those muzzie mosque alarm clock thingies that sets up a hideous wailing call to prayer type feckin' racket. You could borrow that and set it off outside his window all night until he gets the message... or pay a local motosai somchai to rev the ass off his 'hog' at all hours of the night on his driveway..

I like the mosque idea.

We have to meet for a cold one Bro.

I remember the first time I heard a mosque/prayer call at full volume.

1998 in Abu Dhabi... I was in the Crowne Plaza hotel jet-lagged 9 ways to Sunday.

4:30 AM it went off about 30 feet from my window at about 1000 decibels.

Scared the bejesus out of me.

"Gooks in the wire!" is the first thing I thought of.

Ha!

**superman** · 13-06-2011, 06:22 AM

Get a sonic dog scarer off of Ebay or Amazon etc. The dog owner will never know you're using it, but the dog will. http://www.amazon.co.uk/PORTABLE-SON.../dp/B004SGPXRW

**Dick** · 13-06-2011, 06:41 AM

Poison the dog with some laced ham or little luk chin thai meatballs.

Anyone now the most effective over the counter poison for this ?

Rat poison tends to works too slowly - I'm talking quick cyanide type of dog death.

**Butterfly** · 13-06-2011, 07:03 AM

kill the dog, cut off the head and deliver it by post office, he will never know it's you

**scrapmetalband** · 13-06-2011, 07:15 AM

Originally Posted by Dick

Poison the dog with some laced ham or little luk chin thai meatballs.

Anyone now the most effective over the counter poison for this ?

Rat poison tends to works too slowly - I'm talking quick cyanide type of dog death.

Antifreeze

**SEA Traveler** · 13-06-2011, 07:16 AM

JayW, it is always a precarious situation that we need to act diplomatically. Although I do not have an immediate perfect solution to offer, I'd suuggest what ever is done be done without the knowledge of others, ie no witnesses. As you say the gloves are off, so be prepared for a retaliation on his part. So where is this guy from anyway?

**Bettyboo** · 13-06-2011, 07:20 AM

Whatever Papillion says, do the opposite...

It is quite funny, sorry. Have you got a super high pressure hose? Seriously though, take care and don't let things get out of context... The barking dog is a big deal, I hate that problem, noise pollution. Don't go silly with an over-reaction that could end up with you in serious legal trouble, etc...

**rawlins** · 13-06-2011, 07:33 AM

You either need to get your dog to kill his dog or get somebody else to run over his dog by 'accident', pushing yourself away from the blame...

If whatever happens to his dog is obviously directly from you, you will have to endure a few more years of being hosed in the face until your neighbour pops his clogs himself....

Get out a contract on his dog.

**BaitongBoy** · 13-06-2011, 08:24 AM

Disregard the killing route.
Your dog could be next...and maybe even you...
It will just exacerbate the problem.
The owner isn't handling the situation very well, granted.
But, let's not get crazy here...

'Good fences make good neighbours' - Robert Frost

I wonder what Frost would have said about the neighbour's dog...

**somtamslap** · 13-06-2011, 08:36 AM

Rent a pitbull and 'accidentally' let it kill the fucking poodle. OOps..sorry old timer, dogs will be dogs..

**Fondles** · 13-06-2011, 08:50 AM

Get an airpistol and sit in your yard at night, every time the little fucker barks shoot it.
It won't die or suffer any real injury but it will spook the fuck outta it to the point it will eventually stop the barking.

**Mr Earl** · 13-06-2011, 09:51 AM

Get one those songkhran squirt guns, fill it with bleach and squirt the dog right between the eyes. Guaranteed to shut the little fucker up. He might yelp a little, but a little beach will change his tune.

**nidhogg** · 13-06-2011, 09:54 AM

problem is, the dog is merely badly trained (owners fault), but is the one who will end up taking the brunt.

Fondles idea as above maybe, but replace the airpistol with a water gun (supersoaker). If he gets spatted every time he barks, he will knock it of pretty quickly, and your neighbour has already established that shooting water over the fence at people/things is a legitimate response...

**larvidchr** · 13-06-2011, 10:16 AM

^ Yes a little water wont hurt, go for the owner, the dog cant help it, bunch of sick cowardice fucks above wanting to torture a dog because it's owner is an inconsiderate idiot.

**Jack meoff** · 13-06-2011, 10:26 AM

Hire Ceaser Milan to train the old git

**Butterfly** · 13-06-2011, 10:41 AM

I still think you should do the dog Spartacus style, in front of the neighbor

the neighbor will be so scared, he is an old fucker, you will gain his respect

**BaitongBoy** · 13-06-2011, 10:46 AM

[QUOTE="nidhogg"]Fondles idea as above maybe, but replace the airpistol with a water gun (supersoaker). If he gets spatted every time he barks, he will knock it of pretty quickly
Good idea...his heart and mind will follow once he gets the pattern...

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