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Thread: Fawlty Towers

  1. #1
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    Fawlty Towers

    Ms. AC has worked at one of the "finer" hotels here in Korat for about a year now. She's constantly coming home with stories that make me cringe. I wish I'd collected them all.

    Anyway, here's the latest:

    Because of electrical maintenance the hotel has a power outage today. The manager asked Ms. AC to prepare a notice to guests. I figure she's the only one there fluent enough in English to compose such a thing. She wrote something up and called me to see if it was OK. I made a couple of suggestions and she ended up with something like this:

    "Because of electrical maintenance the hotel will be on generator power from 8 AM to 5 PM on Saturday, February 24th. The lights and elevators will be operating normally, but there will be no air conditioning. We regret the inconvenience."

    A few hours later the manager handed her the final version:

    "Because of electrical maintenance by the provincial electrical authority on Saturday, February 24th from 8 AM to 5 PM."

    That's it.

    She said to him, "That's not even a sentence".

    He just grinned.

    She went on, "Next time, don't even ask me."

  2. #2
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    Let's have a vote on which notice made it the wall...

  3. #3
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    My wife used to manage a guest house in Bangkok.

    I always laugh when she tells the story about the German tourist who complained the shower wasn't big enough.

    My wife couldn't understand what he was on about so went upstairs where he picked up the bum gun and demonstarted to her that there was no way that he could shower with it.

    She politely showed him the door to the ensuite.
    News is what someone, somewhere is trying to suppress - everything else is just advertising.

  4. #4
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    OK, keep them coming....

  5. #5
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    The Korean

    I should have kept up with this thread. Lots of interesting stories daily....

    Ms. B has worked in the hotel industry for 15 years. Her absolute least favorite customers are Koreans....

    A Korean businessman checks in Friday evening. After he's in the room for a while he calls the front desk and shouts (they always shout), "Young people, young people."

    No one has any idea what he's on about, so they send a maid to his room. He opens the door, takes one look at her and shouts, "No, no!" and slams the door.

    Again the phone call, "Young people, young people!"

    So, they send up someone from maintenance. Again, it's "No, no!" and the slamming of the door.

    Once again a call to the front desk, "Young people, young people!"

    This time they send up one of the male telephone operators who speaks English and is about 22 years old. He knocks on the door and the Korean opens it, smiles and invites him in. Inside the room romantic music is playing, scented candles are burning and the bathtub is full.

    The Korean starts shouting (they always shout), "How much you want? How much you want? Five thousand baht? Ten thousand baht?"

    The terrified telephone operator bolts the room and runs down to the front counter.

    A call comes to the front desk. It's the Korean demanding to speak to the young man who's just been to the room. The operator takes the phone and listens to the Korean's panting and heavy breathing and finally a howl as he climaxes.

    No one can believe what has happened.

    The next day the Korean comes down and demands to use the fax machine. The staff offers to send a fax for him, but he demands to use the fax machine himself. "This is SECRET! You cannot see our secrets!" He demands to see the manager who listens to him shout (they always shout) and lets him use the fax machine. The operator notices that the fax is entirely in Korean. No one could have known the "secrets" anyway.

    When a return fax comes in they are afraid to touch it. Normally they'd deliver to the room but this time they leave it face down on the fax machine and tell the Korean to come down and fetch it himself.

    Needless to say, Ms. B's opinion of Koreans hasn't changed....

  6. #6
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    Geeze, for 10,000 baht I would have sent someone out to get a young gay dude for him.

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