Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 33
  1. #1
    R.I.P.
    DrB0b's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD
    Posts
    17,158

    The worst drinks of all time?

    Some of these don't sound too bad to me, at least none of them are as bad as a warm Singha. I'm going to try the D-bomb tonight.

    Craptails - CHOW

    Craptails

    The 10 worst drink concepts of all time

    By James Norton

    Bad drinks are easy to find, but truly memorable disasters are few and far between. Here are cocktails that go beyond “poorly conceived” and cross squarely over into Hindenburg territory. Utilizing a combination of bad planning and wildly misplaced enthusiasm, we concocted each of these 10 drinks to single out a particular folly of modern bartending and crucify it with tiny little cocktail umbrellas. Mix with caution.

    1. VIP Sangría
    Fanta
    Cut fruit
    1 bottle of extremely expensive vintage wine
    Sangría: the refreshing summer drink with the mysterious nonsense name. But it’s a beverage with a fatal flaw. That’s right—the terrible wine. Why serve a bottle of plonk concealed by low-rent soda pop when you can trade up to something they’ll remember … say, a 1975 Chateau d’Yquem accentuated by Orange Fanta, or a 1984 Chateau Mouton-Rothschild Bordeaux complemented by Grape Fanta?
    Now that’s class! Note to New York, Tokyo, Moscow, and London club owners: This drink can quite easily be marked up to $900 a glass without raising an eyebrow.

    2. The D-Bomb

    Meat from one ripe durian, cut in half, immersion blended with:
    6 ounces vodka
    6 ounces light rum
    Juice of four limes
    Spoon mixture into durian halves, each garnished with a gently used sock (recipe makes two sizable drinks).
    Looking to step up the visual impact of your next Pacific-themed grilling party? Tap into the power of the biggest, baddest tropical fruit under the sun.
    The sock garnish helps to moderate the drink’s odor without in any way conflicting with the earth undertones of Abe Vigoda and capital punishment that make durian such an adventure. Switch up to pantyhose to set a classier tone, or dress the drink down with a sweat sock that has survived a grueling neighborhood game of b-ball!

    3. Crazy Grapes
    1 ounce sweet white wine
    1 ounce Everclear 190-proof alcohol
    1/2 ounce pineapple juice
    1/2 ounce lime juice
    Power drill
    20 large white or red grapes
    Ikebana stand
    Eyedropper
    20 toothpicks
    Half an orange
    Miniature lighter or a book of matches
    1. Mix your alcohol and juices, and heat them on the stovetop—but only briefly. You want the liquid warm but not actually on fire.
    2. Take your power drill and a reasonably sized bit (try a 62-gauge), and drill out all 20 of the grapes. Discard the interior meat.
    3. Oh, you weren’t supposed to drill all the way through them. You just want to make them into tiny cups. Get 20 more grapes. Try again.
    4. You’ll probably want to reheat the alcohol again. Watch that burner!
    5. Use the ikebana stand to keep all the grapes upright, and then use the eyedropper to fill each grape with several drops of warmed alcohol mixture.
    6. Now, all you have to do is mount each individual grape on its own toothpick—being perfectly careful, of course, not to penetrate so far into the grape as to rupture the inner barrel of liquor. And then put each toothpick into the orange half, hemispherical side up. Be sure to calculate the angle of grape mounting so as not to spill the contents once the toothpicks are inserted into the orange. Think “concordant angles.”
    7. OK, now light all of the grapes with the lighter or matches so that they turn into tiny little drinkable torches.
    8. If the grapes aren’t catching fire, the alcohol’s probably cooled down too much.
    9. If all else fails, a crème brûlée torch can generally set 40 to 50 percent of the grapes alight while destroying the remainder. Not pretty, but it works.
    10. Et voilà! You’ve got a provocative drinkatizer that’ll enchant and delight. Assuming you’re able to move it out into the living room without spilling it or setting small fires.
    11. Actually, it’s probably best to set this thing up wherever you’re serving it.

    4. The Doctor Atkins

    4 ounces vodka
    1 (1/2-inch) cube of Spam
    1 uncooked piece of bacon (as garnish)
    Red caviar (as garnish)
    Pour vodka into a martini glass and place the Spam cube in it. Garnish with bacon and caviar.
    No carbs here. The delightful snap of Spam helps offset the salty chewiness of the bacon. The 4 ounces of vodka help you forget that you decided to order a meat-based drink.

    5. The Bed & Breakfast
    1/2 ounce maple syrup
    1 1/2 ounces vodka
    1 fried quail egg
    1 small toast round
    1/4 piece of bacon, sliced lengthwise and fried into a stir stick
    Mix maple syrup and vodka, and pour into a martini glass. Place fried quail egg on toast round and float on the vodka. Garnish with bacon stir stick.
    You’ve worked the cocktail circuit. You’ve been to the parties. You know how it goes: Some people just aren’t happy unless a drink has multiple layers. And other people demand a miniature fried egg on a floating island of toast.
    Now you can please ‘em all with the Bed & Breakfast, the layered bacon and floating-quail-egg drink. It’s like a fall day in Maine without all the gruffly inscrutable locals!

    6. The S-11
    2 ounces blue Curaçao
    2 ounces Bailey’s Irish Cream
    1/2 ounce grenadine
    1/2 ounce bitters
    1 lime, sliced
    Divide all ingredients between two highball glasses.
    We’ve got a post-9/11 attitude (weary confusion), national pastime (standing around at airports), and flag (the Tom Ridge Rainbow of Fear), but we still don’t have a drink.
    Well, buck up, America—things have turned around. Bust out a pair of highball glasses and get ready to celebrate our nation with this somber yet sassy mix of red, white, and blue ingredients graced by a reflective touch of bitters. And never forget … to add a twist of lime.

    7. Salmon Colada

    3 ounces light rum
    2 cups crushed ice
    3 tablespoons pineapple juice
    3 tablespoons coconut milk
    1 ounce fresh Atlantic salmon
    Salmon head (for garnish)
    Blend all ingredients and garnish with a salmon head.
    If anyone at the party starts talking about the importance of omega-3 fatty acids, merely gesture at your drink and say, “Eh? Eh? That enough for ya?” Later in the evening, give your salmon head a name and have it deliver monologues on the commercialization of independent cinema or why the French Laundry is past its prime.

    8. Mountain Kir Royale
    1 ounce crème de cassis
    5 ounces champagne
    6 ounces Mountain Dew (classic, not Code Red)
    Finally: a drink that combines all the Sunday elegance of the Kir Royale with the extreme-sport energy of Mountain Dew.

    9. The Pomageddon
    1 whole pomegranate, sliced into quarters
    Liberal amount of pomegranate juice
    Liberal amount of vodka
    Drop two pomegranate quarters into a brandy snifter, fill halfway with pomegranate juice, and top off with vodka. Perch the other two quarters on the rim as garnish. Hand to the first person who starts extolling the virtues of “pom.” Charge $16.50.

    10. Hot “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter”ed Rum
    4 ounces Malibu rum
    2 ounces Voss water
    Generous dollop of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter
    Heat and serve in a glass mug with the rim “sugared” with Splenda.
    To be drunk by oneself, or in the company of Fabio.
    Photographs by Becca Dilley.


    James Norton is the founding editor of Flak Magazine and the author of Saving General Washington. He lives in Minneapolis with his wife, Becca Dilley, and writes about food for publications including Salon and Minnesota Monthly.

  2. #2
    lom
    lom is online now
    Thailand Expat lom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Last Online
    Today @ 09:18 AM
    Location
    Trapped in an old mans body
    Posts
    8,122
    Samui Brekkie

    1 whole coconut
    1 bottle Mekong whisky

    open a hole in the coconut, fill it up with whisky.
    Shake, drink using a straw.

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Ratsima
    Posts
    3,717
    Quote Originally Posted by lom View Post
    Samui Brekkie

    1 whole coconut
    1 bottle Mekong whisky

    open a hole in the coconut, fill it up with whisky.
    Shake, drink using a straw.
    Reminds me of my Peace Corps days. Tiny island. No water. No power. No vehicles. No booze except for our "snake bite medicine" which came delivered in locked plywood boxes. No mixer and no ice, so that's what we did. Open coconut, squeeze in some lime, add booze and you're set for the day.

  4. #4
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Last Online
    06-01-2008 @ 02:11 AM
    Posts
    10
    Thanks DrBob, those drinks are just the incentive i need to stop drinking.

  5. #5
    Thailand Expat
    sabang's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Last Online
    Yesterday @ 09:59 AM
    Location
    BackinOz
    Posts
    30,805
    Nothing could possibly be worse than what I had last night, and don't bet 1000 bht a game on pool when you are pissed.

  6. #6
    Member

    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Last Online
    05-04-2018 @ 09:14 PM
    Location
    Manchester City
    Posts
    379
    There are no bad drinks,

    Some are worse than others!!!

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat
    Marmite the Dog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Last Online
    08-09-2014 @ 10:43 AM
    Location
    Simian Islands
    Posts
    34,827
    Quote Originally Posted by geoff
    There are no bad drinks,
    You've never had Chang Draught then.

  8. #8
    Special member
    jizzybloke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    7,874
    any colour aftershock tastes vile but worse on the way back up which is a guarantee when i have it

  9. #9
    Special member
    jizzybloke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    7,874
    i fforgot this one, don't know what its callrd though.
    clear aniseed tasting nasty stuff with gold fleks in it!
    Truely awful!

  10. #10
    I am in Jail
    stroller's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Last Online
    12-03-2019 @ 09:53 AM
    Location
    out of range
    Posts
    23,080
    Fanta red and green are equally disgusting.

  11. #11
    Member tuferguson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Last Online
    24-02-2019 @ 08:06 PM
    Location
    On the moon
    Posts
    417
    Quote Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by geoff
    There are no bad drinks,
    You've never had Chang Draught then.
    beat me to it.


    Aftershock is quite bad, anything with aniseed or liquorice flavour as well.

  12. #12
    Member tuferguson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Last Online
    24-02-2019 @ 08:06 PM
    Location
    On the moon
    Posts
    417
    Quote Originally Posted by jizzybloke View Post
    i fforgot this one, don't know what its callrd though.
    clear aniseed tasting nasty stuff with gold fleks in it! Truely awful!
    is that not goldmeister or jagermeister? something like that?

  13. #13
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Last Online
    03-01-2017 @ 04:09 PM
    Location
    もうがまんできない!
    Posts
    9,754
    Coca-Cola.

    (And I am not joking)

  14. #14
    Thailand Expat
    phunphin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Last Online
    19-01-2018 @ 02:02 PM
    Location
    christchurch, NooZland
    Posts
    1,442
    I onced mixed milk with orange concentrate......not a pleasant experience.
    Last edited by phunphin; 04-08-2007 at 11:37 AM. Reason: just remembered,was a while ago ...

  15. #15
    Special member
    jizzybloke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    7,874
    Quote Originally Posted by tuferguson View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by jizzybloke View Post
    i fforgot this one, don't know what its callrd though.
    clear aniseed tasting nasty stuff with gold fleks in it! Truely awful!
    is that not goldmeister or jagermeister? something like that?



    thats the one, vomit inducing shit

  16. #16
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Last Online
    03-01-2017 @ 04:09 PM
    Location
    もうがまんできない!
    Posts
    9,754
    Birds nest.

  17. #17
    Member The_Dude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Last Online
    02-05-2018 @ 03:50 AM
    Location
    Nakornratchasima/Sacramento
    Posts
    586
    English Beer

  18. #18
    Member
    kk boy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Last Online
    04-11-2013 @ 08:40 PM
    Location
    Khon Kaen
    Posts
    161
    Nigeria tasted some shite there, Star beer & palm wine
    Currently in Georgia and some beers are awful Khazbegi, Argo, Natakhtari to name a few
    Thailand, Chang is rotgut

  19. #19
    Thailand Expat

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    In a rather cold and dark place
    Posts
    12,823
    Cement Mixer

  20. #20
    The cold, wet one
    November Rain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Last Online
    31-03-2015 @ 03:06 PM
    Location
    In my happy place
    Posts
    12,214
    Gin & coke.

  21. #21
    Mid
    Mid is offline
    Thailand Expat
    Mid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    1,413
    I'm going to try the D-bomb tonight.
    as a Dr , I'm sure your aware of




    Subject: Durian (fruit) and alcohol?

  22. #22
    Bounced
    Frankenstein's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Last Online
    13-10-2016 @ 10:42 AM
    Location
    The land of milking honeys
    Posts
    3,292

  23. #23
    lom
    lom is online now
    Thailand Expat lom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Last Online
    Today @ 09:18 AM
    Location
    Trapped in an old mans body
    Posts
    8,122
    White Christmas

    That's vodka and tippex.

  24. #24
    Member
    bar dog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Last Online
    03-12-2008 @ 10:23 AM
    Location
    Chiang Mai
    Posts
    297
    Brandavino and anything

  25. #25
    Thailand Expat Texpat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    In your head
    Posts
    13,015
    goldschlager

    I found the salmon headded-thing most amuzing. My wife might enjoy that one.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •