The Thailand expat forum for Travel, Lifestyle and Fun.

Nawty

I'll start it tomorrow.

britmaveric

^Out of the box? And are you bringing the wife???

jandajoy

OH GOOD

Nawty

yes...and have photos

jandajoy

Of what?

Nawty

5 days in Pattaya

jandajoy

OH Good.

Spin

gotta say if im ever in Pattaya for 5 days in a row, you think im gonna find time to post on here? not a prayer

britmaveric

^No cock photos I hope....

Nawty

Well i do have some new cock photos with my new cannon 450d camera...still in box....but I have learnt not to post them.

As for Spin....I ain't in Pattaya any more....but I was...now I aint....so I can....but not till tomorrow.

Spin

^ ok you're excused

mobs00

5 days? Will Nawty survive?

Travelmate

Well today is the day after his promise of 5 days of fun and frivolity.
Saw him posting on "continue the story" with his mate Jandajoy. Does this suggest he has no pics and therefore no fun nor frivolity?

Nawty

patience...patience...takes time to remember the details at my age.

mobs00

The suspense is killing me. I wonder what he got up to.

Loy Toy

Now that it is highly illegal to post anyone's picture or write a story about them on the internet I would imagine Nawty has had to go back down to Pattaya, find all the players in his little photo set/ story and get them to sign a disclaimer.

HappyGirl

What you do in pattaya nawty

you have many lady? farang chawp

melvbot

Couldnt find a twiddling thumbs one.

Travelmate

Dude probably haven't been. Most likely his mate went and then forgot the camera.

Nawty

Pattaya for 5 days of fun and frivolity……I was given thread heading lessons by Alphagirl. Seeing as Debauchery and mayhem have been taken….this was the next best thing and I did not want to build up false hopes as she did.

Well, the main priority here was to have some fun with the kids, school holidays just started and my son finished his first round of grueling grade 1 mid year exams.

Minor…very minor and miniscule priority was to have a hunt for some of Pattayas finest flesh available by the sea, seeing as Bangkok had nearly been exhausted, a change is as good as a holiday as they say.

Now this was also just a practice holiday before the real holiday next week to Malaysia for 11 days, then Phuket for 3 days, then Koh hai for 5 days. Just to iron out any kinks and bad travel habits the wife might have.

In Pattaya we decided to stay at the Siam Bayshore, as recommended on here. Now I have to say that this is a very nice hotel, great pool, great little slide with twists and turns for the kids to play all day long. Rooms were very nice, right by the pool for easy entry and exits.

The breakfast was probably one of the nicest I have ever had at a hotel, so much to choose, from cereal to sushi. Wifey had 6 slices of raw salmon for breakfast, guess she thought she might need some pink bits to replace the pink bits that might get warn down over the next 5 days.

As for the price…..well kinda expensive and more than I have ever paid for a single room in a hotle ever before and we needed 2 rooms as we had Nanny with us….3500b each, so 7k per night.

We even had a couple of western ladyboys staying with us, over for the snip and tuck op…



Nanny said it was the nicest bed she had ever slept in…I thought no shit Sherlock….wait till it comes off of her wages, that’s half of it gone for just one night.
She lapped it up, sitting up all hoity toity in starbucks sipping a vanilla latte, ordering a smoked ham and salad bagel at Au Bon Pain…..thought she was living the high life until she got the wrong sandwich and she had to go and change it herself….all sheepy and servant like then.

We always go to Jomtien beach for swimming, nicer area, water cleaner and we found a spot where it was roped off from boats and jetskis, great spot and relatively safe for kids to swi without worrying about the knobs on their machines. Although one knob lost control and came hurtling into the roped off pond on his jetski, nearly cleaned up an elderly couple also. Just goes to show how easy to get run over by these knobs.

We saw this guy on the beach…flexing his muthels…I got his permission to post this pic, he refused to begin with until I kicked sand in his face and wrestled him to the sand. He was a Rusky, later some Serbs came by and sat near him flexing their muthels, but they were only skinny little fellas compared to Igor here. But they also wrestled on the sand after some time….must be a guy thing.

Igor had a boy with him, don’t know if it was his son or what, but certainly he did not look like he was going hungry at home.





Igor had a very small penis to be wearing togs like that.

Also at the beach, these guys were pushing this other guy down to the waters edge in his wheel chair. Nice of them to let him get his feet wet.




But then they went back to the beach and drank beer…the tide was coming in….maybe that’s why they gave him the tyre tube…..they kept drinking, the tide kept coming…..the chair was under water….the tide kept coming.



Right about then a song came on the radio….




I wondered if it was a new way of suicide for Pattaya….quietly sit and ponder life, tide comes in, float away out to sea and run over by a passing tanker.

I had not been to pattaya for some time, so things had changed, many new condos up and going up. But many things have not changed and I noticed them more so than ever before….so many freaks in Pattaya, no wonder it has such a reputation. In Gardens shopping mall, a guy coming down the escalator behind us calling his teenage manfriend ‘tilac’. A 6yo girl in Walking St performing contortionist tricks all night outside gog bars and then time filling with short gogo dance routines. The usual plethora of high society sex tourists….not many with cute girls.

This one was sprucing herself up for some hot lovin expected….it was only 9am but..




In fact the cute girl ratio in Pattaya is shocking…after touring all the Walking Street bars we found only 3 girls that were to our high standards and taste. Unfortunately 1 of them had a shirt on and when she removed it she had no waste and a big arse. The other was hot, tall, hairless pussy, but she was to standoffish to be bothered with. Saw her later in the hotel lift. The third girl we did not get back to chat with, so left her for another night. We were pleasantly surprised by the drinks prices though, 50 baht a pop, missus said we can get shit faced for 500b with a smile on her face.

We were in another bar the next night…happy agogo I think it was and after a sext routine from the girls, clapping erupted throughout the bar. Hmmm I thought, now this is an enthusiastic crowd and much better than the average bar that just sits and sneers…..then I noticed nobody clapping, in was a firkin tape recording of clapping. Just then it hit me, like a ton of wet concrete on my lap. I thought my life had sunk so low, sitting in a bar listening to fake clapping for dozens of naked titties bouncing around. But then I realized that the wife did tell me to go forth and find a very very beautiful girl…..so maybe life was not so bad.

There was a girl that I liked in Happy, but her eyebrows looked like they had only another week of growth before they would be joined in the middle.

Then there was a cute girl in living dolls I think….I thought she had a horrible great wart on her nose, but upon closer inspection it was just a nose ring. She reminded me of a girl I knew from Pattaya many years ago, back in the days when I had little regard, not much respect and did nawty nawty things to nawty nawty people. This girl I thought had a speech impediment, found out later that she did not have a tongue. I was drunk, but did wonder why our French kissing seemed to be a one way affair.

So, 4 nights in Siam Bayshore and its location great, very quiet, yet so close to the action if you just walk out the door and turn right. I did not even know it was there.

This was a bloody expensive practice holiday, lucky we did it though as now I know not to spend so much on the next one.

Car Hire….6250b
Hotel…..28,000b
Seafood dinner…3000b
Sight of another girls lips on my wifes titties…Priceless.

Add to this, a new camera 23,400b and a new phone for wifey 15,500b.

Then, for the last night, wifey says lets go find a nice new hotel, go to the same one or different like we used to stay at, great pools, no slide, but nice bungalows for 1500b and save some money. Ok I said, lets go. So off we go, missus comes back after looking at a couple of places and says she booked us into the Hard Rock Hotel at 7600b per night. WTF happened to the other train of thought.

Anyway, had always wanted to stay here. Upon entering I had wished I had not, not my style of hotel. Did not really fancy Ringo Star looking down at me all night and the ‘you are the star’ and ‘badn staff’ gets very tiring very quickly. Rooms were smaller and not as nice and breakfast was not as good, not nearly as good. No Fcuking bacon for breakfast….WTF.

This kind of stuff got very boring, even in the shitter something about being stars…puke..




The HRH pool was good though, no slide to speak of, very small kids one that was slow and boring….not that I did it, kids found it slow and boring and I agreed.




And the view from the loom…




But the big trampoline in the middle of the pool and the games were a lot of fun and the kids loved all of that. My 3yo daughter is the little adventure kid. She seems to like anything with a bit of excitement to it and follows her brother into battle, only she does it with no fear. She was jumping of the trampoline into the pool all day, she did the rock climbing up 8 to 10 metres, even though the staff originally said they had to be minimum of 6yo.





Then, to my horror at one point, she climbs up to some of the tiered shallow pools and peers over the edge of the drop, then with what looked like sensible caution she backed away and I told her to stay away from the edge. But with lightning speed she hurled herself off of the 6 foot high wall into less that 2 feet of water and with the base of the wall stretching out somewhat, meant she had to clear around 3 feet at the bottom to miss the wall.

A couple nearby just looked in amazement as she got up and walked over with a cheeky grin on her face saying …’did ya see me dad’….. here is the wall….




Underwater they loved hamming it up to the camera




Here is my attempt to replicate the photos of my idol…BobsKnob…I like to try to emulate him like…I even bought a new camera backpack.....just like his and a new tripod. Now i to can look all professional and stuff like. How much is a taxi to a temple...






Not sure if this is my wifes arse or the lady nearby…who also had a nice arse

Now remember that things always look twice as big underwater.....should've taken a picture of me dick....hmmm




Legs shooping at the market…what fine legs they were too




Nice proof readers at this company..




And I took this pic for Snoodles and EmpraTurd if they feel the urge




So, all in all a nice little practice holiday….sorry no debauchery and mayhem…that belongs to another thread. But we had lotsa fun and frivolity.


What….I hear you grumbling….’what happened to the girls, the girls of the night, the lips on the titties’

Well I ain’t a kiss and tell kinda guy……for website details, send cash…lotsa cash.