Thread: Random Jottings

Originally Posted by BigRed

Why do they use U turns so much in Thailand? How did anyone decide that instead of having a right turn with a filter lane they would make you drive past your turn and make you do a U turn instead?

one of the nastiest things about living here, i agree.

seen too many accidents and been close to a few at u turns.

fortunately, my new commute doesn't involve any at all.

Originally Posted by BigRed

he wife tried to pay by credit card and they wouldn't let her enter the pin number herself.

That sounds very dodgy indeed.

More Jottings.

These were written on my Windows Mobile using the Transcriber handwriting recognition software btw, so if there are errors it's probably where it has guessed the wrong word. I'll try to organise the paragraphs a bit better this time.

Jomtien is much bigger than I remember from 2 years ago. There's a lot of signs in Russian appeared as well, which confirms the influx of Russian tourists I have read about. There doesn't seem to be any end to the expansion of the area and new estates are going up like crazy.

We went for a meal at the Chinese in the Royal Cliff Hotel. The highlight was the Crispy Duck where they served the skin in pancakes the size of a beermat with spring onion and plum sauce. Each one was prepared by the staff and served on a small plate, as you ate one they prepared another and swapped plates when you finished. It ended up costing just short of 5,000 baht for two adults and a toddler so it isn't an everyday meal, but worth it as an occasional treat.

We went to the wife's village today to see the family. I sat watching the neighbours poking at the branches of a tree with a long bamboo pole so I ambled over for a closer look and saw that it had clusters of those small white fruits in a thin brown skin growing there. They didn't seem to be having much luck but kept picking something up find putting it in a plastic bag. When I looked in the bag I realised they were not after the fruit at all, they were dislodging insects to fry and eat. They offered me one to try, with cries of "Aloy, Aloy" but I managed to resist the offer.

The time came for me to get to grips with the Thai squat toilets. I had managed to avoid them on previous trips but there was no getting away from it this time. I followed the advice I had read somewhere of stepping out of one leg of my shorts and underwear then swivelling them around my other leg and holding them off the floor with with one hand to keep them off the wet floor. This worked well and it has to be said that the squat position aids the evacuation, but washing my arse with the bowl of water was a complete disaster. I ended up throwing most of one bowlfull over my shorts, so exit one falang with dripping wet shorts.

We visited the sister-law in a new estate in Chonburi. She has a two bedroom house which cost 800,000 baht. The garden is tiny, as they tend to be on new estates, but at less than 3O mins from Pattaya and only 5 mins from the major roads its a bargain compared to a tiny condo. Its a gated estate too, with a fully trained security guard. You can tell that by the way he barely twitches as we drive in through the exit and set all the soi dogs barking and howling.

I sat at a bar outside Big C to watch the UEFA Cup final a day late, which was ok as I didn't know the result. I tried one of those 3.5 litre towers of Heineken. It's a good job it went to extra time, those towers take some shifting. It's great to be able to sit outside in the evening and listen to the live band while you have a few beers.

washing my arse with the bowl of water was a complete disaster. I ended up throwing most of one bowlfull over my shorts, so exit one falang with dripping wet shorts.

Why do toilet tribulations always make me laugh? A grn for your pain.

Originally Posted by Spin

Originally Posted by BigRed

he wife tried to pay by credit card and they wouldn't let her enter the pin number herself.

That sounds very dodgy indeed.

If paying at a restaurant, why need the PIN anyway?

We hired a boat to go deep sea fishing today. It was called the Flying Dutchman, hope they were not predicting anything when they named her. It had the usual Thai collection of tatty looking lifejackets sufficient for around half it's passenger quota but as there were only 12 of us it didn't matter. We sailed out past Koh Larn and started dragging in some tiddlers when the wife pointed out a cloudy patch of water which had brown specks in it and asked me what that was? I replied by pointing to her mother, who had just emerged from a noisy spell in the toilet. A quick consultation with the Captain confirmed that this was the source and after a little arguing he moved the boat away from it. By now the toddler had gone even paler than normal with a slight greenish tinge So we abandoned the fishing and beached the boat in one of the secluded bays on Koh Larn.

A man with a jet ski towing an inflatable appeared from no-where so most of the family climbed aboard, several still fully clothed. They did a trip around the Island which terminated with the traditional quick turn at the end to dump them all in the water. Unfortunately three of them trod on some beautiful red spiky things (Sea Urchins?) which were extremely painful. Our resourceful Captain broke out his medical kit which consisted of a mortar (or is it pestle?) a lime and a sharp knife. He pounded on the soles of their feet for several minutes with the mortar then cut the lime up and squeezed the juice over their feet. They felt a lot better when he finished, or should that be stopped?

Mosquito's have plagued me this year again. I made the mistake of buying some repellant from Boots which was toxic free and got 3- 4 bites a day for the first week. If I managed to avoid them being rubbed by clothing they conc use the size of a 1 baht coin and itch like hell for 3 days. If I scratch them I get a red patch the size of a 5 baht coin. I've now bought some with the highest DEET content I can find and so felt it seems to be working. Do you develop a tolerance for these things eventually?

It's strange what things people want to take back with them after a holiday. So far my wife has accumulated several kilos of Issan sausages, eight of those Thai brooms, a play table for the daughter, coat-hangers for a Thai friend, and a 30 kilo sack of rice. I'm drawing the line at the rice but it's still sat in the corner of our apartment hoping for a last minute reprieve.
Well, revenge is sweet. 3 of the fishing trip, all Thais, have sunburn and are peeling, plus two have bad stomaches. They normally laugh at me for keeping out of the sun and watching what I eat. My wife, Who is 5 months pregrant, went to hospital with abdominal pains and difficulty breathing (she said, looked ok to me). After describing what she had eaten in the last 24 hrs. and a scan they advised her to eat smaller portions and avoid spicy food , then prescribed some tablets labeled antiflatulence, take after meals. I laughed all the way home.

We have eaten at Food Wave, Royal Gardens in Pattaya on a couple of occasions. This is a really good venue at reasonable prices. It is clean, free of all insects, wide selection of international food and possibly the best view of Pattaya Bay in the area.

Someone mentioned going Commando in another thread and it is very tempting in this climate, but i'll never forget an incident when I managed to zip my foreskin into a metal zip a few years ago. You could even see some of the skin on the outside of the zip. I thought I was going to do some serious damage undoing it and it took me 10mins. to pluck up the courage to unzip. I recovered without medical assistance but have avoided going commando ever since.

There's been some big improvements to Pattaya over recent years to make it more appealing to families. The new arcades and statues on beach road look good but the smell and cheap whores are still there to drag it all down.

Originally Posted by BigRed

Do you develop a tolerance for these things eventually?

I sodding well hope so i suffer the same as you do!

Originally Posted by BigRed

We have eaten at Food Wave, Royal Gardens in Pattaya on a couple of occasions

Nice there careful of the Russians they have no table manners.

Good read. Cheers

Originally Posted by BigRed

Someone mentioned going Commando in another thread and it is very tempting in this climate, but i'll never forget an incident when I managed to zip my foreskin into a metal zip a few years ago. You could even see some of the skin on the outside of the zip. I thought I was going to do some serious damage undoing it and it took me 10mins. to pluck up the courage to unzip. I recovered without medical assistance but have avoided going commando ever since.

I did that when I was a kid. I had to go to hospital. I never go commando now.

I quite enjoyed that as well Big Red. I hope you will have some photos to share on your next trip. Well done. i use an antihistamine for mozie bites, one dab and they stop itching, two dabs and I tend to forget about them.

Originally Posted by Loombucket

I hope you will have some photos to share on your next trip

I do have some photos from this trip, but having set myself up a self proclaimed expert in Photography and Photoshop it will take me a while to tweak them sufficiently to risk posting and exposing myself to the ridicule of some of our members

Originally Posted by BigRed

We have eaten at Food Wave, Royal Gardens in Pattaya on a couple of occasions. This is a really good venue at reasonable prices. It is clean, free of all insects, wide selection of international food and possibly the best view of Pattaya Bay in the area.

We have eaten there too, it's like food avenue in MBK but smaller.

Originally Posted by BigRed

Last edited by Marmite the Dog : 01-06-2008 at 11:14 AM. Reason: Changed the invisible black text to white.

can you also change the font or size, us old geezers have trouble reading that shit.

Originally Posted by BigRed

My wife, Who is 5 months pregrant, went to hospital with abdominal pains and difficulty breathing (she said, looked ok to me). After describing what she had eaten in the last 24 hrs. and a scan they advised her to eat smaller portions and avoid spicy food , then prescribed some tablets labeled antiflatulence, take after meals. I laughed all the way home.

too fckn funny, that IS priceless mate!

Does anyone use The Flying Dolphins bar, one of my favorite places in that area, run by a convivial Japanese guy and his wife

So do they serve dolphin meat?