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  1. #1
    Thailand Expat

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    Lopburi to Saraburi

    Woke up early today intent on getting to Burriram to stay with my friend and have a poke around the Muang. I called her around 8.30am just to make sure that everything was ok only to learn that she in fact lives near Burriram in a small Ban called Nang Rong. She then went on to tell me that she didnt actually live in Nang Rong either but in that district. Yikes, it was starting to get complicated.
    Undaunted, I showered and made ready for the journey by bus to somewhere near Burriram. I breakfasted on scrambled egg and toast at the Asia Hotel and laughed when, after I ordered, I saw the nong run off down the road to order it from the local milkbar here in Lopburi. Meanwhile I was supping on coffee. The toast was prepared on site and was served within 1 minute of me ordering it. The eggs came about 15 minutes later.
    After breakfast I walked to the bus station which turned out to be about 3 kilometres east of where I stayed but I didnt care. Young fella's like myself need a walk from time to time.
    I walked past the Khmer ruin in the middle of what is now a roundabout where the monkeys are treated like kings and was reminded of when I had visited the same site some 14 years prior with my galfriend Caroline. The memories flooded back and I laughed out aloud when I got to the bit where I was dancing naked in our room to the sound of Van Morrison's Brown Eyed Girl. It was then that I realized that a bunch of German tourists were staring at me as I laughed. Embarrassed, I walked on to the bus terminal and boarded a bus to Saraburi as it was explained that there was no direct bus to Burriram. I was told that I should change buses in Saraburi in order to get to Burriram and that the fare for that leg of the journey was 29 baht. Sound as a pound I thought and off I went.

    Halfway to Saraburi the geezer that collects the fares came around and I watched as everyone paid thier 29 baht. The smallest note I had was a 100 baht and as I handed it over I said to the geezer "29 baht, Lopburi to Saraburi". He nodded and gave me back 10 baht and continued collecting 29 baht from the other passengers. Stunned, I called him back and asked him how much the fare was. Without even so much as a sideways glance he told me that the fare was 90 baht. I said "but, but, but............oh fok it."
    I just hope he chokes on 61 bahts worth of something that he eats real soon. Ooooh that made me so cross but I wasnee gonna argue.

    Half an hour later the bus pulls in to Saraburi and off I get and light up an L+M. I am surrounded by motorcycle taxi and samlor drivers all shouting "You, where you go?" while pointing directly upwards. I respond by asking them where they are going with a big grin on my face and they all look quizzicly at eachother until they collapse in fits of laughter.
    It was then that I decided that I needed to know more about how far Burriram was from Saraburi and set off up the High St looking for a newsagents to buy a map. As I crossed the road it dawned on me that what I really needed was an internet cafe so I could cut to the knib of the knob to answer my questions. Deft eh? Daft more like, coz fokking Saraburi does not have a fokking internet cafe. In fact Sarafokkingburi doesnt have much going for it at all. Saraburi is like fokking S****horpe in fact.

    I searched and searched for an internet cafe in Saraburi, all to no avail. There just isnt one. So I walked back to the bus terminal after I had a nice lunch of Kwiteo with duck followed by a bowl of ice cream.

    Sitting myself down amongst all the punters waiting for thier bus I tried to look as though I had a purpose in being there but it wasnee long before those motorcycle taxi and samlor drivers eeked me out and did the "You, you, you." dance again. Grrrr
    I busied myself with my mobile phone as Ice Maiden was texting me about her being on her way to Bangers and how she didnt want to be there. I sat there for some twenty minutes before I decided to become Actionman and enquired about the bus to Burriram.

    "Mott. Mai mee. No have. Pinit" came the response. Grrrr. "Would I like to go to Korat instead?" No thanks, I said with a big grin. "Udon?" No thanks. "Krung Thep?" No thanks. "I want to go to bloody Burriram. Do you understand?" I said. "Cannot." came the answer. Oh fer fok sake, I thought.
    It was about this time that I thought that I should have decided to live in Latvia.

    It was clear that I was not going to get to Burriram so I took the decision to return to Lopburi. There was no way that I was gonna stay in S****horpe anyway. If I was quick I could make it back in time to hang around the gate at the University when all the students come out. I got a thing for the uniform you see.

    Only 50 minutes later I alighted in Lopburi and made for Thepsatri University. I made it just in time. *grins*

    Now I am sat writing this in the lobby of The Lopburi Asia Hotel and I have an audience watching me as I tap at the keyboard. Dont get me wrong coz I really do love Thailand. I just hate fokking Saraburi. I would rather go to Wollongong than go back to Saraburi again. And that cnut owes me 61 baht too. Grrr.

    'As the Manly ferry cuts its way to Circular Quay.' (Now that is deep.)

    Tonight I shall attend the Lopburi Tap Dance Gala night (my shoes are polished already) but I have got to say that I miss both the Chez Kanniff Fun Parlour and Jomtien.

    Yikes. My laptops battery is about to run out so cheerio everyone.

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat aging one's Avatar
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    You have to go through Korat to get to Buri Ram. You can easily connect in Korat.

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat
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    I used to goto Salabury quite often to buy marble and granite, normaly I would just return the same day.

    One time Samwan and I stayed there one night, I have to admit that it was quite lacking in night life, although the hotel did have a couple of gals available for oil massage, I gave that a miss though when I saw the gals.

  4. #4
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    Just in from the Lopburi Tap Dance Gala night and sadly I have to report that it was fixed. I write this knowing that it will ruffle a few feathers in the hierachy of the Lopburi Dance Society but I dont care. I came seventh and I should have been awarded at least second but I think my ol' "Dancing in the Rain" routine was the best all night. I took my own umbrella and everything. I did ask for some water on set but they wernt having any of it.
    I thought that Lert was on my side but he clearly voted for his sister in law. It was so unfair and her leotard was way too small for her. Tsk. I think she wore falsey's as well.
    Sadly I will never know coz a car whisked her away after the awards ceremony. Not that I care coz flowers are so 2001 anyway. They were quite big though. Her falseys not the flowers.
    No doubt she will be celebrating her win at either that bar up the street and around the corner or the one opposite. There are only two here in Lop.
    I am away for a shower and a change of kit but I am putting these shoes back on and am gonna tap the night away. On the bar if I have too. I got the music in me.
    She will rue the day she met The Cap.

    When I track her down tonight I shall say.........










    Lets dance baby.

    She will be putty in my hands. She knows it too. I saw that glance as she left the studio. I aint stupid.

  5. #5
    A bladdy woman
    Goddess of Whatever's Avatar
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    Honest, I have no idea what you are talking about, Cap.

    I guess my English turns worse than other days.

  6. #6
    Thailand Expat

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    Quote Originally Posted by Goddess of Whatever


    Honest, I have no idea what you are talking about, Cap.

    I guess my English turns worse than other days.
    Well, to be honest Gow I wrote this gear two days ago and saved it in Word for posting when I got back so I guess it might seem a little disjointed. Sorry.

  7. #7
    punk douche bag
    ChiangMai noon's Avatar
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    was wondering about that.
    Turning up from the gala night at 5.15 pm seemed a little odd.

    So are you back in the poo pit, that is bangkok CS?

  8. #8
    Thailand Expat aging one's Avatar
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    And the dude is heading the wrong way if he is in Lopburi, Captain mate, you are gonna have to get back to Saraburi to go to Buri Ram, you are going North not Northeast. I know you are having fun and dont give a rats ass. But

    The road to Buri Ram province, there is no city, is before Korat City, not Nakorn Rathasima Province.

    Or you can go to Korat, some nightlife, spend the night and head back to Ampur whatever in Buri Ram...

    I just want you to end up in the northeast and not the north


    Have fun!

  9. #9
    Northern Hermit
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    You got a problem with the North, AO?
    hmmm?
    Spent a week in Sraburi 'bout 4 years ago. Loved the place My (ex) brother-in-law was some kinda law enforcement big-shot we were greeted by a caravan of cop trucks and escorted to a massage joint put us up and fed us free. We made it to some steak house where I had ostrich, that is some damn fine eatin' Cruised around to some wineries out there, nearby, and tripped through some forested areas.
    Great place for Buyin' marble. Go to Sing Buri for granite 'though.
    When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty -- T. Jefferson


  10. #10
    Not an expat Fabian's Avatar
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    Cap, you have been in Saraburi and you have not eaten at my wife's niece's Yum Woon Sen stall? Shame on you.

  11. #11
    Thailand Expat

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    Quote Originally Posted by Fabian
    Cap, you have been in Saraburi and you have not eaten at my wife's niece's Yum Woon Sen stall? Shame on you.
    My apologies to your wifes niece Fabs but I did manage to order Kwiteo Bet at this gaff.




    Anyone you know mate?



    It was deelish too.

  12. #12
    Northern Hermit
    friscofrankie's Avatar
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    you like that clotted blood shit?

  13. #13
    Thailand Expat aging one's Avatar
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    When that stuff comes to me, I use my spoon as a catapult, and quickly its long gone.

  14. #14
    Thailand Expat

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    Quote Originally Posted by friscofrankie
    you like that clotted blood shit?
    I got to admit that I didnt eat that bit. I thought it was ducks liver. Never mind.

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