Last week a friend of mine invited me down to Patong Beach in Phuket for a week of drinking and debauchery. Not having been there for more than 2 years, I gladly accepted and boarded a plane bound for Phuket. Well, this is high season so everyone has their greedy little grins on and unfortunately accommodation is not to be had for less than 1000 baht a night.
Also, the touts are the worst here than anywhere else in Thailand. Yes, even worse than Pattaya (actually they're not that bad up there). You can't walk 5 feet without some idiot trying to sell you some stupid shit. You're not even safe from these cnuts on the beach. I was sitting under my 100 baht umbrella and every 5 minutes somebody would come by and try to sell me something.
I figured, okay, let's go to a different beach. Well, the taxi mafia is going to charge you 400 baht one-way (after bargaining down from 500) to go to Karon. Fuck that.
Oh well, at least the beach is nice. Wrong. 3 years ago, it looked like this:
Unfortunately the idiots have turned it into umbrella city now:
Ahhh, and we can't forget the prostitutes and ladyboys of Bangla Road! I actually don't mind these folk (After all, I used to live in Pattaya). But they're really in your face here. Do not bring the kiddies to this beach! And for you mongers looking for a good deal won't find it here. The big tittied lasses down Soi Tiger will charge you 3000 baht for the privilege of sleeping in your bed. (Oh, and beers are a mere 120 baht down that soi as well).
Can you spot the ladyboy?
I doubt I'll ever come back here. Got some good drinking in with friends, though, so not all was lost.