You are the one who is clueless.
If you commit a minor criminal offence in Thailand, you will not face deportation
A minor offence is something that carries less than a six month jail term
If you commit a serious offence, something that carries more than a six month jail term. you will be liable for deportation . You can go up before a Judge and he will decide whether to deport you or not
Back to the rocking chair old timer