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The Gentleman Scamp

Before I start this thread with a nice meaty OP to set the ball rolling, can I just get one little question out the way?

My train to Nonkhai arrives at 0930, and of course it may well be late.

I am concerned that I may not have enough time to get to the checkpoint to leave Thailand before it closes and I have just been back to my travel agent to change it to the earlier train but I can't - not unless I wants to stand up all the way from Don Muang, screw that - I'd rather pay the 500 overstay.

So how much time do I have to get there before closing?

Texpat

I presume this means arrives at Nong Khai, not arrives at Hualompong.

The railhead in Nong Khai is literally hundreds of meters from the bridge. Even if your train is five hours late, you can crawl backwards on your hands and knees over biting ants and broken glass to the bridge, you'll still have plenty of time to stop and take photos of the urinals. If you're on that train, you'll be out of the country before sundown.

Reaper

I think they close at 10!

zipcode

[quote=Texpat;577333]And make sure your camera is juiced up so that we can ensure you did it the correct way.

The Gentleman Scamp

^ Do you want me to take my camera and make a nice photo thread?

Marmite the Dog

Of course.

kingwilly

dont miss the train now.

The Gentleman Scamp

Better get packing...

CAMERA
CLEAN CLOTHES
XANAX (for the 12 hr journey)

Are there any good girly bars in Vientiene, I fancy a bit of debauchery for a change.

Jarvis

I never found any though whan your walking back to your room after a night on the piss you will probably be propositioned for short time 500baht

benbaaa

By pretty girls with low, low voices.

The Gentleman Scamp

OK, I'm off - see you all in Vientienne.

gusG

Ok ,then mate, I'll see you there. have fun.

bkkmadness

Yes Scampy, we'll all be in Vientiane as arranged. You wait at the bar mate, we'll be there about 8ish, promise.

The Gentleman Scamp

Hey everyone, I am in Vientiene where cigarettes grow on trees, the dogs have rubber teeth and the hens lay soft boiled eggs. The jails are made of tin, and you can walk right out of them as soon as you've walked in. There's a big fountain that spurts out beer Lao and, I know this may sound a bit far fetched - but there's a Scandinavian bakery.

I got deja vu there, probably because I had a bagel there in 2002. It was strange, the little lao lady spoke good English. I asked her, "Do you ever have deja vu?", she said she wasn't sure but would ask the chef.

Anyway, train journey was great and I slept well and I partied with some niggers from New York in the buffet car. After they left, I was stuck with some Thai's who wanted to be my friend and compensated for their lack of English by clinking my glass and saying cheers at every foking oppertunity, so I walked down the train having paid my 220 baht bill for some inedible and cold cow pat moo and one Leo and went to bed.

Unfortunately I was in an aircon upper, car 13 (typical) seat 7 - so I went to bed feeling fresh and woke up cryogenically frozen.

Got to the consulate too late despite sharing a van with a nice young seppo couple who borrowed 2,000 baht off me (the guy) so then I wasted all morning and early afternoon accompanying them from bank to bank trying to get my 2k back and eventually he gave it to me in Kip - 2000 THB in Lao Kip, so I've had to hire a forklift to take it back to my room.

I'm now going to have my third tuna and Dairylea baguette, drink some beer Lao because there's nothing else to drink and look at European ladies breasts.

bkkmadness

Not hitting the club tonight Scamp?

Blake7

Scampy never actually seems to enjoy himself in Thailand (or laos for that matter).
Did you enjoy yourself when you lived in Blighty Scampy, or is life just one long tedious chore to be endured?

The Gentleman Scamp

^ On the contorary.. contarary? Far from it, last night I found a lovely little pub and I drank lots and lots of beer Lao and had some intelligent conversation with a Jehovas witness called Graham who didn't try to convert me, a big black girl from Pimlico who said 'innit' a lot and spoke like a chav and a fat bloke called Sid who had just got married.

Had a wonderful steak last night for just 85,000 Kip, was drinking afterwards until 4 am and woke up to BBC World at 7am with no hangover. It's now 2:30pm and I feel like a trillion kip.

Did you know that Beer Lao once got an expert over from the Carlsberg brewery in Copenhagen to tell them how they could improve beer Lao and he went back to Denmark and told his employees how they could improve Carlsberg?

Been to sort out the visa and will pick it up tomorrow. It's my fourth time in Laos and third time in Vientiene and I really really like it but never stay long enough, I may even invest here - it will develop overnight and be full of McDonalds and KFC's in a few years, so then I'll have to find somewhere else.

The weather is great there is hardly any traffic, no noise, no hawkers - there seems to be no rich people and no poor people which makes sense - everyone is equal.

It's neat and clean and tidy and when it rains it doesn't show off pretending it's a Mira power shower, it gently spits like it doen in UK only in the UK you are not sitting in shorts and shirt cutting into a rosmary sprinkled med rare steak with wine, pork liver and mustard sauce, new potatoes and fresh French bread with butter, salt and pepper.

The journey home will be another moan so make the most of my good mood.

I was going to start a thread called SCAMPY'S LAOS NIGHTMARE because last night I had the most vivid dream that Oliver Stone was punching me in the face in a pub in Beijing.

Blake7

^ it's spelt contrary.

Anyway glad to hear you are in a good mood - no one likes the whining and moaning.

The Gentleman Scamp

R.e. Beer Lao - I was thinking about maybe bringing you back a bottle of the stuff because I know you like it, but if you can buy it down the road in Villa I won't bother because it's heavy and breakable but I'll bring one back if you like.

benbaaa

Terrific pavements you can actually walk along in Vientiane.