I have taught, yes. I did it as a Christian volunteer during my ''couple of months of clarity'' in 1997 when I quit drink and went to church.

I f**king hated it but when I realised it was one of few options available to me which would give me an income of sorts in Bangkok, I thought ''what the heck'' and did ok quite quickly, due to some sheer luck and a Resume with about as much truth as a bargirl's drunken ramblings on it.

I also pranced about as the novelty "luuk kreung'' on four TV ads, after being spotted waiting at a bus stop in Lat Prao by a fat lady who was an agent. (She was, and took my pics the next day at her studio, I thought my luck was well in!).

One ad ran repeatedly on TV whilst Paradorn was playing tennis and I had about 3 minutes of fame. Four people apoproached me in the month following. One of which I shagged the arse off over five days in a remote location by a lake near Pattaya.

Also the DJ-ing came in handy but since 2002 there's been a massive increase in DJs who'll play for beer and not cash. (Mainly Russian and French guys)

After several jobs in teaching where, to be honest, I was never fully immersed in the efforts required, I have now returned to a place where I will have to work hard and be disciplined.

But I only ever thought that surely, nobody pre-plans to exist as a teacher in Bangkok given the pay and conditions etc.