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  1. #151
    Thailand Expat garye's Avatar
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    Thank you
    Hey gusG hows it going eh ?
    Originally just started remembering and writing down some of my life adventures as a lark.It's funny but when you start writing about the past all sorts of interesting memories are re awoken.

  2. #152
    Thailand Expat garye's Avatar
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    The only other occupied table consisted of two Thai men,and a thin tall Westerner in his late 50's,all well on their way, they must have killed a couple of bottles of Sang Thip or so already.
    The waitresses were being very tolerant of their boorish behavior.
    When we asked our waitress who those noisy jerks were,she quickly gave us a look and says quietly..."shush!!!..be careful ...bad drunk Thai men with some local power".
    Of course the first thing my numbskull friend does after she warns us, is looks over towards them holds up his glass and says .."Cheers.." they look towards us,hold up their glasses and say..(of course) Chok Dee!..Before I can stop myself I say in Thai..":Kap pom...Chok Dee na Kaap!"
    As Homer Simpson would say "DTOH!!!"
    Immediately,even in their befuddled state ,the assumption that I spoke Thai was implanted.
    Orders were given to the waitresses and we were informed that we were invited to join their table....

  3. #153
    Thailand Expat garye's Avatar
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    This was basically an invite that would have caused far more trouble to decline than to accept...although the alternative wasn't that great either, and besides, before we could say anything the girls were moving our drinks,snacks("kaap keem") etc over to their table anyway.
    As mentioned before,the two Thai guys were very well on their way,numerous sheets to the wind!
    They were local cops,the bigger and slighly drunker of the two ,some semi- higher up,local district, mucky muck, un- uniformed..etc..etc
    His buddy was, by all accounts, his right hand man,side man, bat man,henchman,
    The "Falang" turned out to be an Irishman with American connections,at least that is what he claimed..His accent certainly betrayed a bit of Irish ,as did perhaps his blarney...or was it?


    One never knows in the world of the far east...I once knew someone called Tony Jones who spent some time in Chiang Mai mid to late 90's...the most amazing charachter,at the tail end of his life,and as you sat with him,keeping him company while he drank his liver into oblivion, he would,with great detail weave these fantastic stories.
    Strangely,after doing a little research on a fragement of the stories he told,I found some evidence that one of the stories might infact be true...and it dealt with...of all people...Rudolf Hess!

    Any way...I digress.
    After chatting and "chok dee-ing" a couple of times I excuse myself to the "hawng naam" and with some urgent glances at my friend let him know that he should excuse himself at the same time.
    "Look" I say to my friend,as we stand at the pisser..".there is only one way to get out of this quickly...get them so f****g hammered that they pass out,but make it fun""
    He agrees and we head back to the table.
    Any "falang" who knows the ropes a little realizes that some friendly Thai words,some politeness(whether you like it or not!) and a willingness to stand enough drinks...keeping in mind that keeping the upper hand means looking like your drinking as much as they are ....but Not!
    One of the waitresses caught on early what I was doing and was particularily obliging,probably in part due to the fact that he had been groping her a bit prior to our joining the party.
    We ordered a full whiskey set,some beers and snacks.etc
    The Irish fellow(cannot remember his name) starts claiming to be some lower operative DEA CIA .. or S.O.B ....true or not...hard too say...probably not..and if so...a minor player.
    Everyone is getting blasted....however since we are the buyers of the bottle and the girls are helping...our drinks are far less as stiff as theirs are...ha...ha.
    Nonetheless, we too are feeling the effects...the fact that we had indulged the day before helped.
    So the booze is flowing ,the girls are pouring,I am making like these guys are the greatest pals (even if they were...%^%&&^*^#%^#$^%*&^)

    Suddenly the henchman Thai guy starts repeating really loud and annoying..."I Know......One People...One World....Together!!" He says it standing up and after we all have to shake hands and cheers and swear eternal friendship
    It was too mental....this is the same guy who probably helps deport hill tribe and Laotions Burmese etc, not to mention corruption.
    Luckily and finally the" Falang " finally fades and is carted away his exploits yet to be made into a documentary.

    The big guy was the hardest to put under,and he was apparently,from what the nice waitress had conveyed ,the most dangerous.
    I did get that weird feel that this guy could be trouble.

    the whiskeys kept pouring

    Finally.... big guy starts fading...and side kick is as well...when suddenly big guy gets some phantom spasm attack starts yelling,and wakes up,,,pulling from his belt under his shirt,a bloody
    hand gun and starts weaving it about,luckily mostly upwards..
    Scared the crap out of me....but running or flinching or American style heroics just wasn't on at this moment...I laughed,grabbed the bottle,poured him one ,me one,told the witresses to have one on me etc.and just started "Chok Deeing " like mad,making light of the whole situation.




    Sorry need to stop back soon......
    Cheers
    Gary
    Last edited by garye; 28-09-2009 at 02:14 PM.

  4. #154
    Thailand Expat garye's Avatar
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    So here we are with this Thai " Kii Mao maak" lunatic waving his stupid gun around for absolutely no reason that I could fathom.....regardless...drunken Thai men with weapons need to be talked to gently (usually) rather than making the situation worse with macho testosterone nonsence...remember...that's what is causing all this B.S in the first place... he probably just realized that his knob is just too small for the job...who knows..
    The waitresses are looking rather nervous..".Kapoom" I say..."Khun Kaap"..
    "Yin Dee Tee Dai Ru Jaak na Kaap"....I raise my glass..."Chok Dee na Kaap"
    My American friend has shrunk back into his seat..expecting the worst.
    My blurry-eyed "new friend's" brain luckily clicks into the fact that I have spoken(politely) to him in Thai. He looks at me...followed by a silly drunken smile...and the gun goes back under his belt(guess the safety was on or he could have shot his equipment off!!) and damn if he doesn't f*****n "wai" me and then shakes hands.We had been sitting and drinking with him for an hour or so (but mostly talking to the Irish fellow and the other Thai fellow) with him sort of scowling and drinking in the background...and now suddenly we were buddies!!
    "Choen Naang kaap" I say to him...and beckon the waitress to bring a fresh set of whiskey.
    I pour him and myself the first one(after the waitress puts in the ice) ...hey after all...now we are friends forever right?
    Because he was already way more smashed than I it was fairly easy to keep making sure that my drinks were undermixed,thanks ,in part, to the little waitress who caught on to what I was doing
    Our drinks were mostly "Naam Soda" at this point.
    Our new friend tries to tell us of his heroic expoits along the Thai- Laotion border but soon,with the help of many..." Chok Dee Kaap's"toasts... starts sliding off of his chair.
    Obnoxious as he was...as soon as he finally passed out the waitresses knew who to call...and within 10 minutes a couple of Thai guys showed up and as gently as possible,dragged him away...home I guess.
    The girls working there were so thankfull that a potentially dangerous situation was averted,and were impressed with my "Jai Yen"

  5. #155
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    Begbie's Avatar
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    The skinny farang didn't refer to himself as the "Major" by any chance ?

  6. #156
    Thailand Expat garye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Begbie View Post
    The skinny farang didn't refer to himself as the "Major" by any chance ?
    Damn ....that suddenly sounds familiar !!!
    Tell me more of this "Major" ???does the time frame of his being in the vicinity at the time correlate .. circa 1996

  7. #157
    Thailand Expat garye's Avatar
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    My "Jai Yen" was strickly the actions of someone responding and diffusing a potentially dangerous situation ,and luckily having learned enough about the LOS by this time to know how to go about it...believe me, inside I was pretty scared.
    It's one of the best things I learned about myself while living there...self-control in public situations.. and trying to keep the old ego in check!

  8. #158
    Member Digitalwolf's Avatar
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    Loving every story Garye. I hope to be back over to Thailand in about 2011. I hope I can have some exciting stories to tell some day lol.

    Keep them coming. Apparently you are as good a story teller as you are an adventurer.


  9. #159
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    Quote Originally Posted by garye View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Begbie View Post
    The skinny farang didn't refer to himself as the "Major" by any chance ?
    Damn ....that suddenly sounds familiar !!!
    Tell me more of this "Major" ???does the time frame of his being in the vicinity at the time correlate .. circa 1996
    Oh yes indeed. However as he's stil in CM politeness means no other details.

  10. #160
    Thailand Expat garye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Begbie View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by garye View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Begbie View Post
    The skinny farang didn't refer to himself as the "Major" by any chance ?
    Damn ....that suddenly sounds familiar !!!
    Tell me more of this "Major" ???does the time frame of his being in the vicinity at the time correlate .. circa 1996
    Oh yes indeed. However as he's stil in CM politeness means no other details.
    "Khao Jai Kaap " ... say no more!
    Certainly was an odd looking companion of 2 un-uniformed Thai cops.....
    Ah well, I suppose circumstances can make strange bedfellows.

  11. #161
    Thailand Expat garye's Avatar
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    Happy Thanksgiving(Canadian)

    Quote Originally Posted by Digitalwolf View Post
    Loving every story Garye. I hope to be back over to Thailand in about 2011. I hope I can have some exciting stories to tell some day lol.


    Such kind words..thank you....I originally began writing this stuff down as much for myself as anyone else.I haven't really tried to write anything since back in the old school days!It just seemed ,at the time, a good place to do it ie "Teakdoor "
    I figured any one who has spent a little more time in the LOS than the average tourist could relate to some of the trials and tribulations that living in Thailand can sometimes bring.
    I have been surprised by the response and amount of people who have read this thread.I have also been surprised that I am actually able to present these memories in a way that seems to be readable and perhaps even enjoyable...
    Thanks again to all.
    P.S Digitalwolf ...Plenty of opportunities for you to make your own adventures and experiences...just give yourself time.....then get a Thai girlfriend....then invest in a business,then let your visa expire,then run out of money and try and figure out a way to make some coin and your adventures ,good and bad ,will commence....ha...ha...ha... just kidding...sort of!

    Cheers
    111111111111111111111111111111111

  12. #162
    Thailand Expat garye's Avatar
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    Looks like its been awhile since I added any stories,think I'll re read this thread quickly,I've forgotten what I've written and don't want to repeat myself.
    Cheers

  13. #163
    Member justincase 13's Avatar
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    thank's for sharing.....

  14. #164
    Member Rascal's Avatar
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    tell me where to meet you, ok!

  15. #165
    Thailand Expat garye's Avatar
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    Cheers All !

    No amazing stories at the moment....
    However..will be back in Chiang Mai February 2013 until 3rd week of March.
    My favorite watering hole nowadays....when I am not out in the "Muu Baan" attending to my little fish breeding facility ( Siamese fighting fish , Betta Splendens,"Pla kaat") is the " Sunshine Bar" on Moonmuang Soi 2 behind the Mandalay..Jan & Nina run the place...a nice little low key friendly place...Jan brews an excellent cup of coffee... See you there ??Cheers All

  16. #166
    Thailand Expat garye's Avatar
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