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  1. #1
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    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Amenities For Kids in Issan

    There aren't many really unless you live in the big city, in which case you maybe lucky enough to stumble upon a stagnant swimming pool, teeming with little Somjit and his weak bladder.

    No, I'm thinking 'outside of the Bouncy Castle' here, in an attempt to give my children a semi-human upbringing. You know, a form of nurture that doesn't involve 'crash, bang, wallops' and 'OOOOh Hooooors' with tedious regularity - or Thai television if you will.

    We're lucky enough, in this part of Issan, to be a stone's throw or two from an adventure park which goes by The Thong Somboon Club.

    At two and a half years, my eldest daughter is possibly a little too young for such places but throwing caution to the wind and a look of pure contempt in the direction of the fucking shite that Channel 3 were having the nerve to air, we got our shit together and hustled out of the door to a life beyond fucking tranvestites hitting each other over the head with fake hammers.

    Upon entering the 'Club' as they so misleadingly put it, a selection of Mercedes Benz immediately caught my eye - and if I thought the colours of said automobiles were pretentious (bright oranges, greens, yellows and reds), then their owners were in a different league - the men (twentysomething high-so dipsticks) were sporting hair-do's that looked like they'd come straight from a cartoonist's easel - 'I'll go for the 'Ben 10' today please, Sebastian' and the women were invariably sporting a look which suggested they definitely didn't take it up the batty for baht..fucking hi-so bastard people - stop polluting the Issan air with your fucking perfume..

    Anyway, this is a map of how to get to the place from Pak Chong - the nearest city to the 'club'..


  2. #2
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    Having drawn the conclusion that the place was overrun with rich people from Bangkok, I tucked my shirt in, combed my hair in the Wave's wing mirror having to lick my palm and flatten a particularly stubborn tuft at the back, informed my daughter that the phrase 'retarded gook' wasn't to be used for the next hour or so and strolled with dignity and panache towards the ticket booth.

    We were told that the entry fee to the 'club' was 20 baht and that any subsequent 'adventures' we'd like to partake in would cost a further 150 baht per go.

    After riding in one of these to the entrance - we had a look around for a suitable ride for a toddler..



    We first came across this Ski Lift which seemed to be a favourite with the geriatric contingent..



    Below the lift was a dry luge slope - this was out of the question. With my ever expanding case of obesity, mass destruction would've ensued..


  3. #3
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    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Go-Carting? Again, out of the question. The hi-so bunch were using this particular facility as a release for their pent up anger - 'I wanted to be a drunk like my mates but daddy wouldn't let me' - the cretins were going so fast that they even got a bollocking from the supervisor in charge..



    The setting for the ATV's was unrivalled -


  4. #4
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    somtamslap's Avatar
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    This log ride looked excellent fun - I really fancied it. I was on the verge of ditching the nipper in the nearest cafe and going for a sneaky ride -





    Then we found it - The Quantum of Solace - which today came in the form of Dodgem Boats. We paid the 150bt and were given 30 minutes on the mechanically operated rubber rings..



    Although five minutes into it, my daughter glared at me with a look which shouted, "Fuck this for a game of soldiers, father. Let's go to the cafe for some chips!"

    Magnificent idea!!



    Not a bad repast but the chips tasted like hollow twigs.

    I'd recommend this place if youre passing through the area...just avoid the chips is all.

  5. #5
    Member IceSpike's Avatar
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    Looks like fun. Could you let the lil Nippers run loose?
    Is there a Bar?
    Any Meat inside that Sesame Seed Bun?
    Still a 5 hour ride south for me, but may good excuse to RON Korat.

  6. #6
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    Have you been to Chokchai farm?

    I went a couple of years ago and the hooligan really enjoyed it

  7. #7
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    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IceSpike
    Could you let the lil Nippers run loose?
    I wouldn't because there are a fair few steep slopes around the park which although are fenced off - with chicken wire - could be a potential hazard. When the nippers are 8 years plus perhaps.



    Quote Originally Posted by IceSpike
    Is there a Bar?
    You could by beer on the premises - although i wouldn't like to guess the price. They wanted 250bt for a kid's baseball cap.



    Quote Originally Posted by IceSpike
    Any Meat inside that Sesame Seed Bun?
    A little, although it could've been rat for all I know. The colour was decidely pale..

  8. #8
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by jizzybloke
    Have you been to Chokchai farm?
    Yes, mate. I'm very local to it, although haven't been for a long while - thanks for jogging the memory.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    The hi-so bunch were using this particular facility as a release for their pent up anger - 'I wanted to be a drunk like my mates but daddy wouldn't let me'
    555, good line.

    So, anything good on TV right now? On that note, maybe you should invest in a few cartoon dvd's to keep the young-un entertained? Amazing that at that age they can watch that shit over and over and never get bored.

  10. #10
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    I went there a few years ago with some chums from Ayutthaya. It was 'OK'.

  11. #11
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by Agent_Smith
    On that note, maybe you should invest in a few cartoon dvd's to keep the young-un entertained?
    Aye - got lots, including most of the 'Baby Einstein' collection, which are excellent

  12. #12
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    interesting. my lad would like that.

    thanks for the heads up!

  13. #13
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    Nice awareness creating post there sts. Thanks.

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