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  1. #1
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    Nawty's Avatar
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    Mountain Memoirs....

    We have a pond out the back, kinda big, about 10m x 20/25m approx and deep enough to not touch the bottom when you fall in.

    Anyway, there is a big o'l fish in it, I call her 'Nessy' and i want to know how to catch nessy.

    I have tried all sorts of bait on lines, lures, floaters, bugs on the surface, grasshoppers and even a dragon fly the other day, frogs, worms, witchety grubs and so on.

    The suckers eat it all but never swallow the hook line and sinker.

    Nessy comes up from the deep, serpant like and skims the surface before diving back down, she is big and fat, I wanna bbq nessy.

    How do I catch her, I have tried a net also, but she to big for it.



    Also as part of my mountain memoirs, yesterday we went for a mountain bike ride, me and 2 kids. we found a mountain side track that went for 3k's, we found a waterfall and went for a swim in the river, nobody around and it is just inside the national park. We had monkies jump across our path, saw many birds and Tiger tracks in the mud.

    All in all it will be some great memories for the kids later in life and me also. I remember swimming and hunting for frogs, with fond memories of grandmas farm we used to go stay at every weekend when i was a kid.

    We shall trek to our secret adventure location frequently and swim at the deserted waterfall.

    Also on the way back we found another swim hole where there was a tourist stop on the other side of the river, obviously inside the park.

    we snuck down quietly and swam, i started to make gibbon noises, the tourists looked into the trees. The 10yo girl started to make squeeling chimpanzee noises, I made gorilla grunts and the boy started to crow like a chicken. i then made cow sounds and the girl made more monkey noises. I finished with sheep baa's and the tourists jumped in their cars and left.
    I like poisoning my neighbours dogs till they die cos I'm a cnut

  2. #2
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    Rattanaburi's Avatar
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    Sounds like you really have a little paradise for yourself there Nawty. As for Nessy, I'd let her live myself.

    "A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone" ---- Henry David Thoreau


    Anyways, watch that movie "On Golden Pond" again. That might convince you to live and let live.

  3. #3
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nawty
    Also as part of my mountain memoirs, yesterday we went for a mountain bike ride, me and 2 kids. we found a mountain side track that went for 3k's, we found a waterfall and went for a swim in the river, nobody around and it is just inside the national park. We had monkies jump across our path, saw many birds and Tiger tracks in the mud.
    Have you found the natural spring there yet Nawty? Its very local to you, think its called "nam pood" or somet like that. Water is blue and crystal clear..can get a bit busy over the weekends though and the little feckers dump their rubbish.

    As for Nessy, nuke the fucker...


  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nawty
    and Tiger tracks in the mud.
    Cool.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nawty View Post

    How do I catch her, I have tried a net also, but she to big for it.



  6. #6
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    Poor old Nessie. Old fish are like old dogs, -- not much good for anything, but you got to love em.

    I presume Nessie is of the catfish variety? You could possibly be taking a big breeding female out of the system if you assassinate her!

    But if you must kill her, well just because she is there, -- here's how to outsmart the old girl. Berley is the key. Start feeding her every day. Bread pieces seem to be the cheapest and most logical choice to start with. Not all fish will take bread straight off, but they adapt to it if its a regular food source. And as Nessie is the biggest and most dominant fish in the pond, (plus the most cunning), she may not rise to the bait initially. After a while when she sees all the other fish getting a free feed with no ill effect, she will muscle her way in and hog all the food. Dont get greedy and put a hook in the bait too early or you might scare her off and probably wont get a second chance after training her to recognize what a hook and line represents with your previous attempts. When you have developed her trust and she is happily taking your offerings like a glutton, well thats when you betray that trust and throw in a baited line.

    Dont do it Nawty! A fish like that will give you more pleasure just being there than a few meals off her dead lifeless body.

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat nedwalk's Avatar
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    ^sorry naughty. gotta agree, here,, its sorta like sex, what would you rather eat, the old smelly fish, or the young smelly fish?

  8. #8
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    Yes leave Nessie alone mate!

    Sounds like Paradise to me mate and I bet your so glad you made the break and to go bush.

    I might be right behind you................and that's not hiding in the bushes making strange noises!

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nawty
    i want to know how to catch nessy
    Get a gun
    Quote Originally Posted by Nawty
    and Tiger tracks in the mud.
    Get a big fok off gun

  10. #10
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    Rattanaburi's Avatar
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    Save the fish!

  11. #11
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    You could throw one of the kids in the pond...just kidding. Leave Nessy. She likely eats bugs.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loy Toy View Post
    Yes leave Nessie alone mate!

    Sounds like Paradise to me mate and I bet your so glad you made the break and to go bush.

    I might be right behind you................and that's not hiding in the bushes making strange noises!
    Make the move today, LT!

  13. #13
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    You need the right man for the job.



    "Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish.
    Not like going down the pond chasin' bluegills and tommycods".

    "I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds.
    Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing".
    Seriously though, drain the pond, clean it up, get rid of nessie and stock it with something you can eat or sell like Perch.

  14. #14
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    That fucker Nessie will rue the day....


    Also doubles as a pussy cat pamperer should you need one.
    Last edited by withnallstoke; 15-06-2009 at 06:23 AM.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nawty View Post
    We have a pond out the back, kinda big, about 10m x 20/25m approx and deep enough to not touch the bottom when you fall in.

    Anyway, there is a big o'l fish in it, I call her 'Nessy' and i want to know how to catch nessy.

    I have tried all sorts of bait on lines, lures, floaters, bugs on the surface, grasshoppers and even a dragon fly the other day, frogs, worms, witchety grubs and so on.

    The suckers eat it all but never swallow the hook line and sinker.

    Nessy comes up from the deep, serpant like and skims the surface before diving back down, she is big and fat, I wanna bbq nessy.

    How do I catch her, I have tried a net also, but she to big for it.



    Also as part of my mountain memoirs, yesterday we went for a mountain bike ride, me and 2 kids. we found a mountain side track that went for 3k's, we found a waterfall and went for a swim in the river, nobody around and it is just inside the national park. We had monkies jump across our path, saw many birds and Tiger tracks in the mud.

    All in all it will be some great memories for the kids later in life and me also. I remember swimming and hunting for frogs, with fond memories of grandmas farm we used to go stay at every weekend when i was a kid.

    We shall trek to our secret adventure location frequently and swim at the deserted waterfall.

    Also on the way back we found another swim hole where there was a tourist stop on the other side of the river, obviously inside the park.

    we snuck down quietly and swam, i started to make gibbon noises, the tourists looked into the trees. The 10yo girl started to make squeeling chimpanzee noises, I made gorilla grunts and the boy started to crow like a chicken. i then made cow sounds and the girl made more monkey noises. I finished with sheep baa's and the tourists jumped in their cars and left.
    Nice pics.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    Have you found the natural spring there yet Nawty? Its very local to you, think its called "nam pood"
    No not yet, would like to though, where is it ? But if it is a crowded tourist spot, maybe not. My secret waterfall is deserted, nobody at all and I like it like that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Loy Toy
    Sounds like Paradise to me mate and I bet your so glad you made the break and to go bush.
    Very happy so far, love the place. AOTY08 though does not like all the snakes about.....the trouser one is pretty active in the cold weather also.

    Quote Originally Posted by dirtydog
    Get a big fok off gun
    We went to the gun shop to ask about a gun for the missus....her idea....maybe not a good idea for me....might get one yet.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
    Nice pics.
    Retard.

  17. #17
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    My new Mountain bike....



    The elephants on the way to work...we pass them every morning on the way to school, as well as the monks doing their hunter/gathering and the farmers taking out thier cows to the fields for some tender lovin care...


  18. #18
    I'm not in jail
    Jack meoff's Avatar
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    Drain the pond.

  19. #19
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    I caught nessies little brother the other day, we ate him couple days ago.

    Nessy is next.

    The 10yo addoptee is learning english by singing songs in the back of the car with the other 2.....roy orbison, travelling dillberries, offspring, home among the gum trees and several others make an interesting trip.

  20. #20
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    You can see the exodus of bats in the bottom of the skyline, this happens every night and there are millions of them...



    sunset from the balcony...



    wildlife...



    the fullmoon the other night...so clear up here away the polluted bangkok streets...





    storm on the horizon...



    These are our own dried bananas....they taste sensational, so sweet thanks to my secret ingrediant...



    our valley....



    lunch or bait...



    mutley....


  21. #21
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    Loy Toy's Avatar
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    Great pictures mate and what did you end up doing with that worm?

    Or need I ask!

  22. #22
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    It caught nessies little brother...

  23. #23
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    All had been going well in the mountains.....until we learned that the kids had apparently been extorting money from the canteen and robbing it blind.

    Now facing expulsion and jail time.

    Even ET was caught acting as the lookout....






    Mind you, we do have a nice holiday planned from the proceeds of the bonny and clyde actions....

  24. #24
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    here is the boy first time playing cricket with the Thai national cricket team.....




  25. #25
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    Really lovely scenery. I really am shamed at how little of rural Thailand I have seen considering how long I have lived here. I have not once been up a mountain here and my only excuse is a hatred of tour groups and the lack of a motorcar. I must make a real effort as my time here draws to a close.
    They champion falsehood, support the butcher against the victim, the oppressor against the innocent child. May God mete them the punishment they deserve

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