Wow five years, hard to believe even if you did it yourself. What a different life I have now then the one I left and event eh one I entered here.
I came here as a single man only knowing a few of the Vets in the area. A whopping $6K in the bank and my retirement and paying $1,800.00 a month in child support, not exactly flush. But I squeaked by until the child support was paid. One year on my own and went to Water Buffalo University everyday. I finally decided that these Udon girls were a lot smarter then I was. I was so frustrated by all the games I nearly threw in the towel every other day.
What changed my wife, but not easy she couldn’t speak a word of English and I couldn’t speak any Thai. (why a lot of guys end up with bar girls they can at least converse on some level) But we are now four years into it and still get by, but better then before.
My problems really didn’t come from Thai’ it w farrangs out of the ones I met in that first year I only associate with one of them these days. Simply because we share a hobby. Not sure why it went that way, I think the majority of them meant well and explained Thai life to me the best they understood it. Others I honestly believe enjoyed watching me go through the mil, so they had a subject laugh about with other farrangs. Actually had a village marriage during that time. Was convinced by these guys that it was OK to have Mia Noi’s all Thai women accept that, nothing could be further from the truth. If a Thai woman cares beyond the money they don’t want to share you with anyone and my friends is the truth learned the hard way. Heck I had Mai Noi’s during that period. An interesting situation for me I could never decide where I really wanted to be and where home was. Just me I guess.
Well that problem was soon solved the marriage w destroyed, heck how can you build a marriage without trust and I destroyed that not her. So off we go to the dating scene. What a mess. Finally actually had someone head out to the village to find me a lady, to build a life. First two might a well have went to the bar and picked up a girl.
Third one was the charm what a rag a muffin, but there was real beauty in there. She needed me and I soon found that I needed her. We built a relationship from there and now love each other. Could I get away with Mia Noi’s, yep she has no choice but oh hang in there. Bit what would it do to the most valuable aspect in my life here in Udon. The trust would be destroyed so I stay at home. I’m no longer three day Ray. Do we fight you bet can’t tell you how many time I have came very close to walking out the door. But something holds us together. I’m very glad it does.
If I have to name my most valued aspect of y life here it’s her. She changed my life so much I can’t even begin to describe it today I’m buying a home a Chevy pickup. I have everything I need in my home and most of what I want. I have developed other friends that I share aspects of my life with. Both farrang and Thai.
So when I reflect on my past five years in Udon I have a lot to be grateful for and all and all I’m a happy guy. Now the truth be known had I really knew what I was getting into I would have never did it in the first place. But you take the challenges day by day learn and get through it.
The most difficult thing I went through was not having anyone I could trust to talk about problems with and even more so thinking I did and then paying the prices. But even that changed with time and I have learned not to be so open with people and assume that they are in fact friends. What they were actually were acquaintances.
I’m always open to helping others but I’m very careful about who I ask for help these days.
To newbie’s I would say count attending Water Buffalo University we all do. Adopt the AA approach; take it one day at a time. For every step forward there will be two back for a awhile, But that will change if you want it bad enough. If you don’t feel the desire to make it here through your bones you probably won’t keep that return ticket handy you will need it.