Asia Bugle Wed, 7 Sep 2005

[dirtydog]

Scuttlebut

Well as I prepare for the annual goose liver hunt with the original Baron and Sam, all, in this fun town, seems well. Indeed it is getting better all the time. A year ago there was concern about nightlife, as we know and love it actually surviving in Bangkok , as officious cabinet ministers with some obscure mission to make Thailand the most boring country in Asia , if not the World, worked hard to send us to bed early, and more problematically, sober. I will not say the flood gates have opened, because they ain't, but things are very defiantly more realistic, assuming you are a party animal - or even a sex tourist (shame on you!).

The worst part, from my point of view, as the tops come off and the bottoms remain uncovered, is business is improving and even idiots can once again make a bob or two (well this week anyway), so there is little or no scuttlebutt. One of my sources sent me an email telling me all that I should know. I saw him a few hours later and said thanks for the mail, ?it just confirmed what I already thought?. He was quite miffed. ?No,? I said. ?It told me what I already know. There are no stories.? ?Yes,? he said, ?you don't make them up do you!? I rest my case!.

As a result of the goose liver quest, who's dates this year have been inconveniently controlled by some other events, the next mailing will not be until October 15 th . That is unless something happens that we really think you need to know about.

The No Name Group's latest enterprise, the revamped Apache in Soi Cowboy has reopened. The old Apache had never recovered from a decision to move the dance area to behind the bar. Well there are now several dance areas: some individual glass toped tables as well as the old (moved) floor, but with the bar moved to the back. In addition there is a private table dance area upstairs that will undoubtedly attract DOMs in the score. Essentially the format is similar to the new rage sweeping Pattaya - a Thailand version of table dancing. Bic razors are not available on the menu yet but I am told they will be.

One thing is for sure the concept has caught on and the bar has been packed every night for the week it has been open. I foresee a rush of format changes in Cowboy bars.

Glow is the latest addition to Bangkok straight nightlife. It is described as the ultimate chill out experience in Bangkok . It is located on Sukhumvit 23, previously the home of Faith Club. (From Sukhumvit Road , first right (at Giusto restaurant) and direct left. After 20 meters you will see GLOW.)

This is their blurb..

A new lounge bar/club (up to you to fill that in, we call ourselves only 'GLOW') where the focus is on comfort able surroundings, high quality (the best!!??) drinks, moderate prices, good and friendly service, best bartenders, innovative lighting, relaxing music with a good sound system etc.

Basically we are created a bar where we can feel ourselves comfortable and where we like to meet our friends.

The concept of lounge bars is present in Bangkok but mainly at hotels.Examples in our opinion are Hu'u and Syn at Nai Lert Hotel. Those bars are setting a certain standard for this concept. We feel that there is space for a 'stand alone' lounge bar in Bangkok .

There does seem to be a glut of these new cocktail/lounge bar openings and I must get round them when I get back. The trouble is I do like a little visual entertainment where I gogo!

Talking about straight bars, well nearly straight, a friend of mine was asking his son about Q Bar. "Do they have hookers?" He asked .

His son said: ?yes?.

And good girls as well? The son agreed.

Well asked the father how do know if a girl is a good girl or a hooker?

Well said the son you kind of do. However I met one girl who must have been. She was a very pretty Japanese girl who accosted me on the way to the lavatory. She asked me if I would like to watch her pee?

The poor old boy was still trying to get his head round that one when he told me the story. I confused him even more by asking if he had never heard of Lord Lamberton!

In Nana Plaza , the general consensus is that Rainbow 4 is the best, although I was not that impressed with the lots and lots of girls there - almost too many. Angelwitch must be taking the most per square meter by far, and their knew extension, which is largely ancillary facilities, is not due on line for a few weeks. The real surprise is the number of people now rating G Spot highly. Not only do they have their risqué shows, but a load of pretty girls as well. Risqué in this sense means what the plod will do to them if they get caught. Of course the rest of the Crown Group places on offer are, as ever, devoid of a good reason to enter except to be left alone to meditate.

Sam Worthington has been to Bei Otto for details . My whereabouts over the next few weeks maybe part followed by seeing where Sam has been.

We have introduced a new website for classified ads called siambugle. It is set up regionally so please feel free to post classified ads for what ever you want (within reason!)

The professor will be posting a diatribe on Thinglish as we send this out

If you own an entertainment or tourist-related business in Bangkok please make certain that you register on the Wowbkk website. Just go to wowbkk.com and follow the link at the bottom. This will ensure you are listed on both the website and the new magazine to be published in early November.

That is it until I return from a month of European reality, more then enough time to persuade me that LOS, warts and all, is vastly preferable to the old World.

[dirtydog]

From the Baron www.BaronBonk.com

Patpong Despair

Patpong is an area that evokes simple emotions ? people either hate it or love it. These who hate it will tell you it is run by gypsies, tramps and thieves or the Thai nightlife equivalent of them: touts, dishonest mamasans and katoeys. Then there are those who have been around for long enough to remember when Patpong was Bangkok 's only real nightlife area, and played there and enjoyed it. Then Randy was a newcomer, the Rififi was the best afternoon spot, the Grand Prix was the place to go, and the girls in the Tavern were just mothers. Now Randy has been around for nearly 20 years, the Rififi is closed in the afternoons and is now called CEB, the Grand Prix is Camelot Castle and the Tavern Girls are well?.grandmothers. I mention these places because they all came into play the other night when my continued support of all things Patpong was severely tested.

It all began in Convent Road just across Silom Road from Patpong where I had a meeting in The Irish Exchange, after the meeting we had a couple of drinks and then a friend arrived, and at about 7.30 pm I found myself with 2 GTGs, one married to a farang. I was wondering how to escape when I was asked where I was going. I said as I was in that area I would dine at La Bouchon in Patpong 2 and, being a gentleman, I felt obliged to ask them to join me. One of the girls had been to Bouchon before. The other had never even been in Patpong. Fearing that I may not get a table, I fairly rushed the girls down Patpong 2. It was when I started going behind the bars halfway down the street I suddenly realised how appalling scruffy and seedy this bit was. The Star of Love does not actually have blow jobs written outside but the girls sitting there are barely likely to attract customers for their good looks and high intellect. I have never thought about it before, but here I was in polite company. Of course Le Bouchon is a beacon of civility in this area, and I suppose it could only be a French bistro that could survive here. The French simply accept red light districts whereas we prudish Brits and our Cousins across the water turn our noses up and then turn away. After a satisfactory dinner I whisked my two GTG off the park and trundled down to the ATM at the bottom of Patpong 2. I peered into the Tavern, once always my first stop in Thailand on any visit, and decided I could not face the totally faded interior and the worn-out girls within another point concentrating my mind on how unpleasant this area has now become.

My next call was Club Electric Blue which was reasonably fall, compared to a few months ago, but it was not the music that got my attention though it indeed did seem a trifle less onerous in terms of decibels. No, it was what was on the stage. Katoeys! Surely not! Had I not once been told there would never be katoys here? As a couple flunked off the stage I knew the Rififi really was dead. Then a group appeared and were weihed into the seats next to me at the bar and a bottle of JW Black appeared as if by magic. I may be wrong, but I have seen enough Mafia-style figures to know what I thought. Time to move on, and maybe to give CEB a miss in future.

I trundled through the alley to Goldfinger, a bar which is still an enigma to many. Yes it is a gogo bar in the middle of arguably the hottest gogo bar strip in the world. But in reality, it is just the home of Randy. I still enjoy the bar but since the demise of the old Rififi this seems to have become the yartzee and bar game centre. There is always some kind of game going on in Randy's corner. There were some comments about this on a local web board and the view was that Goldfinger is getting too cliquey and too much into games. That does not make it a bad place ? but it's not the place it once was!

So on to Camelot Castle , not the best of the three Kings Group gogos in a row between the the two passages to Patpong 2, but one I have generally enjoyed over the years. As I walked in, the manager greeted me with smiles saying they are now selling Tiger. This is because for months I have refused to go in as they did not replace Carlsberg with Tiger, as most bars did. But now they have Tiger, all part of a price increase from 90 Baht a beer to 100 Baht. So I settled back and watched the dancers. A pleasant girl turned up by my side and not too pushy, so I bought her a drink. I then bought myself and the girl another drink. An aging women turned up and greeted me like a long lost friend. "Mamasan know you long time," I was told by a service girl. I smiled and mamasan moved in for the kill, or should I say drink! Anyway I refused that politely and I am sure I have never seen her before. But of course I might have done. Chek bin time came an d now everything did go tits up. My bill, as I knew was, 400 Baht and now the Kings Group have a system whereby you have to sign for every drink, presumably to stop the bill padding they were notorious for. So I pulled out a 1,000 Baht note and held it up so the service girl could see it and said a 1,000 Baht. Of course I got change for 500 Baht. The service girl quickly turned on the girl with me and said something. The dancer looked at me with an _expression that shouted what can I do? She knew very well. I went over to the cashier's desk and remonstrated and they all thought it was funny, as did the manager when he appeared. I left leaving no tip (of course).

Still steaming, I caterpillered up to Silom Road where as usual the police were stopping legitimate taxis from doing their job and only allowing a few bent taxis in. A taxi with its light on pulled up. "Meter?" I asked.

?Yes?, I was told, so I go it in. The taxi started off. "Meter," I stated.

"150 baht okay."

"No?. meter," I demanded. The driver laughed. I pulled on the handbrake and opened the door and used a little old fashioned Anglo Saxon in a very brief farewell to him. I then crossed Silom Road and caught a taxi, as usual, on Convent Road .

So that was my last night in Patpong and I keep asking myself: For one single reason, why I should go back?

Note

I am sure there will be more similar problems at the Kings Group. By introducing the bill signing they have stopped a fiddle, but they have not changed the staff. Staff will not take a pay cut so they will look for another way to get the money. Anybody involved in the bar or any business for that matter, knows if you have staff on the fiddle there is only one solution. Get rid of them and then cut out the option.

[dirtydog]

NightMarch from Pattaya

Dancing for Dollars: Big Andy has decided one of the better ways to draw punters through the doors of the newly revamped Club Electric Blue gogo( Walking Street ) is to run an in-house dance contest on Saturday evening 10 September, kicking off around 9:30PM.

One of the problems bar owners find with running dance contests in one gogowhile trying to involve the operators and dancing maidens of other establishments is that if the home team walks away with the thick end of the prize money the others think ?the fix was in'. After a while the damsels from other dens become increasingly reluctant to appear. This is one of the reasons why the Diamond chrome pole palace decided to only host in-house contests. They are easier to organise and are still competitive.

The new layout in CEB seems to be working and most nights there are around 50 or so dancing damsels cavorting about the place in various grades of attire. Upstairs is the ?beaver lounge' where customers can clearly see who shaves and who doesn't. Taking a leaf out of Peppermint's successful and popular innovation, the lasses serving drinks behind the bar seem to have all misplaced their tops.

Close to the Best in Fun Town : What is the mix required to take an gogointo the ranks of the top ten or so places to go in Pattaya? First, a good collection of attractive and friendly chrome pole huggers. Second, good music, or at least material that suits the joint in question. Third, reasonably priced libations. Although it falls slightly short on the third count, the Heaven Above gogo (upstairs in Soi Diamond) has improved out of sight in recent weeks and, in my humble opinion, now ranks very close to the best g-string-for-g-string chrome pole palace in the resort.

I know one thing for certain: they have the best-looking set of serving wenches and hostesses in town. The dancers range across the spectrum from tall and lean to short and fulsome and everything in between. In other words, there's a dancer to suit every possible taste. The girls vary in dress, or lack thereof, for the stage. Some are in the stock standard g-strings, others in short skirts, still others in skirt, blouse and jacket. It seems everyone has a turn on the stage at some point over and hour or so; for all I know even the cleaner gets a run, sans mop and bucket.

The music, initially good when the place first opened its doors only to lose its way for a time, is now well and truly back on track and suits the place.

The damsels are, in the main, a friendly bunch (yes, some will hit you up for a thirst quencher within thirty seconds of grabbing your knee-cap), and the vibe when I wandered in around 10:00PM on a Friday evening was very good. I hope management will be able to maintain this buzz for some time to come.

We Are Number One: Is this the friendliest gogo in the environs of Fun Town? We Are No 1 (Thappraya Road, Jomtien) may not have the best chrome pole molesters in the joint, but they are great fun. The most notable aspect of the chrome pole huggers in the place was, apart from the fact they are friendly, none asked for a drink. This must surely be a first in the history of ogling dens in Thailand.

The joint opens at 2:30PM and bats on until 1:00AM offering draught amber at 65 baht, lolly water 75 baht and liver wasters 95 baht. There's a double screen TV showing good music videos and for those who get too excited by all the attention from the dancers, a good lie down and organ recital can be had upstairs for a total of 800 baht.

Thai Logic 101: Hoping to cash in on the lack of tourists (think about it), the New Player gogo (second floor of Soi Diamond) re-opened on 1 August (horses' birthday in the southern hemisphere). It failed as a chrome pole palace when first opened back in December (high season) when it was known as the Roof and, on my only visit so far, the second attempt doesn't look too promising either.

The place is nicely furbished, clean and fresh, and has a small pool table to entertain those bored with looking at the five dancers on stage, dressed in black PVC style uniforms. The music varies between awful and average and the prices for libations just don't make any sense. Liver wasters run to 120 baht, lady drinks are 100 baht, but draught amber fluid is 55 baht all night. The logic, if that's the word, seems to be to draw in the punters who want to sample the relatively cheap draught amber. The problem with this is there are at least 10 better quality ogling dens offering cheaper draught nectar all night. Of those places snipping punters who prefer the harder liquor for 100 plus baht, again there are at least half a dozen or more that rank way above New Player. As for the quality of the chrome pole huggers, let's just say no more than three stood out in any way.

Cop an' Earful of This: Fun Town is finally coming of age in another media medium with the recent launch of an English-language radio station dedicated to broadcasting about the resort: FM TRS on frequency 102.95. Run by Anna- one of Pattaya's better known media personalities- the station operates from 6:00AM until midnight with plans to go 24-hours, seven-days a week as soon as possible. Apart from music and the usual local news there are interviews with local ex-pats and professionals.

No Booze for Youse: Fearless Leader will no doubt be pleased to know the Tops supermarket at the corner of Central Pattaya Road and Second Road is strictly adhering to the government policy of not selling alcoholic beverages in bottles and cans to customers between the hours of midday and 5:00PM. For those who have the patience, it is possible to sit inside Tops, purchase and consume alcoholic drinks while waiting for 5:00PM to come. If this doesn't make any sense to you then I shall use just one word: politicians.

Feed the Hungry Beast: The Ruby Club on Soi 6, well-known among those who wander about in the afternoon's looking for a little relaxation and company while having a quiet drink, has recently been sold and the new management has introduced a free buffet on Friday's starting around 4:00PM.

Private Dance, Lighter Wallet: According to one of my informants the charge for a private dance in a side room in the fairly new Galaxy Cabaret gogo (Walking Street) is -make sure you're sitting down- 7,000 baht. Repeat it slowly: seven grey notes with the numerals 1000 printed on them. Are there really people out there who are so desperate to get within sniffing distance of a Caucasian female they are prepared to cough up seven big ones for the dubious privilege? The phrase ?more money than sense' immediately springs to mind. I'm told libations in the joint run to 200 baht a pop, making it just about the priciest joint this side of Bangkok. Now, before the usual conga line of over-bulging wallet types start wailing the traditional refrain of ?but in England you'd be paying?', I want to point out two things. First, in case you hadn't noticed you are in Thailand and one of the attractions for many people who come her e is the fact the place is nowhere near as expensive as a first-world country. Second, I once went to a similar joint in Australia some years ago and the price for a ?private dance' was AUD$70, or around 1,800 baht in the conversion rate at the time. So, if these figures are correct, then the damsels in Galaxy are charging nearly four times as much in a developing nation compared to what's available in a first-world country. Go figure.

Hamster's at Ten Paces: Regular readers of this missive will know I'm not a fan of the tawdry shows put on by some ogling dens, the majority owned by local males who seem to think the average foreigner just loves watching generally overfed dancing damsels fire darts, blow whistles, write messages, and extract razor blades from their front orifice. Goldfish and frogs are also common props but the worst must surely be from the Top Models gogo(Soi 14, off Walking Street) where a friend and his brother recently were witness to the sight of a hamster wriggling its furry way out of a baby-making factory.

Piece of Pith: ?Old people love to give good advice to console themselves for no longer being able to set a bad example.' (La Rochefoucald)

[dirtydog]

Prowler in Patong, Phuket

Beach road renaissance

General
August saw a welcome increase of tourists to the beach and the street vendors and hawkers were happily accosting shoppers once again. It has been lean times for all, but the Beach Road again has plenty of small shops open ready for visitors. The good news for all you husbands who suffer from a spouse with "shop ?till you drop syndrome" is that the Beach Road is also heavily interspersed with bars. Let her shop while you drink a few cold ones!! For sundowners I can recommend the Beach Bar at the south end near the Ocean Shopping Plaza . It always draws an interesting crowd.

Black Rose Motorcycle Club
The Black Rose Motorcycle Club celebrated its second anniversary on the 20th August with a Biker rally. This charity group are involved in several bars and clubs on Soi Bangla and laid on a full weekend of food and drink. The main bars involved were the Blue Note, the Kangaroo and the Dragon Club all within easy staggering distance. On Saturday night, they had a bike display on Soi Bangla .This took the organizers some effort as special permission had to be obtained from the Governor himself to permit special use of Bangla. The weekend was well-attended with fellow bikers coming in from several other clubs in the region.

Nicky's Handlebar
Here on Phuket "Biker tourism" has increased over the years. Nicky's Handlebar on the Ratutit Road in Patong do specialist, escorted bike road trips off the island and into the neighbouring provinces. This bar itself is a popular spot with bike enthusiasts and non-bikers alike. The walls are festooned with bike memoribilia and spare parts. Many people drop in for meal and a few beers to soak up the atmosphere. If Nicky is in the house he will gladly give you a tour of his workshop and show off his collection of Harleys and Caddys.

Scruffy Murphy's
Scruffy's on Soi Bangla still enjoys a good crowd every night. The do a daily happy hour price on Tiger draught at 100 Baht per pint up to nine o'clock and draught Chang up to midnight at the same price. The band has doubled in size and with the addition of a drummer, is now known as the Two Red Hot Potatoes. Unfortunately they seem to have strayed from the concept of being an Irish Bar and their music tended to be a mix of Robbie Williams, Coldplay, Oasis and old Beatles stuff. In their defence they were responding to customer requests and it was a young crowd that night. In my humble opinion if you go into an Irish Bar then be prepared to listen to Irish music. Never mind, I still enjoyed myself and I do like their efficient staff who made sure my glass was never empty. Scruffy's is also open all day and has five large screen TVs for sports fans who like to escape the heat and relax in the aircon environment. The food is its usual high standard and they als o run a daily specials board.

Molly Malones
Molly Malones on the Beach Road has been recruiting staff and is in the process of completing its repairs and refurbishment. They aim to be ready to open late September and will have the same format as their Scruffy Murphy's Bar .Before being wrecked by the tsunami, this bar was very popular and did a good selection of food and drinks. I am sure it will do as well as before being on such a prime location on the centre of Beach Road . Hopefully their management will soon be able to give us any information on their opening night.

A tale of two Chippies!!
A Englishman decided to do something new in Patong and he set out to open an English style Chippie. He had kicked the idea around with some friends and realized that the concept might work. He took a lease on brand new premises on Ratutit Road and outfitted it with all the correct cooking equipment and decorated the place out just like your local chippie back home. Sounds good so far? One of his so-called friends went further down the street to the OTOP shopping centre and took over a cheap Thai noodle cafe and opened an English fish and chip shop. They have large billboards outside two bars in OTOP with the Union flag proclaiming to be the best fish and chip shop in town. It is little wonder that the Thais think it is easy to rip off farangs - we do it to ourselves!!

Happy Horseshit
While the events of New Orleans were tragic I really took exception to some American commentators who said "It is America 's Tsunami". What total bullshit. Here on Patong Beach we had no warning. The people of New Orleans had four days of live TV countdown.

Thought of the Day
The way to a woman's heart is through your wallet!!

ok it seems i have been doing the wrong link looking at the email, anyway for this newsletter apply at www.baronbonk.com or www.asiabugle.com and i also have to mention this one aswell copyright@uis.eu.com

[Fabian]

Damn, your quotings are much too long. I need an abstract, maybe one or two sentences.

[dirtydog]

ok i shall break it down for you fabian, some gals are charging way too much and some aint, hope that helps

[Fabian]

Thank you.
So what's the fuss about then? Just use the services of the girls who do not charge much.

[Goddess of Whatever]

Why don't you use the services of the girls who don't even charge a penny?

There's a bunch of them if you know where you can find them.

[Fabian]

Those are more expensive in the long run.

[Goddess of Whatever]

Sound like you have an experience should I tell your wife when we all meet up?

[Captain Sensible]

:roll:

[Fabian]

GoW, if I weren't happy now how things are I would change something.

I just wanted to tell you that some men just don't want any hassle or long time commitment, emotional or financial, and therefore find prostitutes the easier kind of "relationship". I may be wrong though.

[Goddess of Whatever]

Yeah.. I know Fabian, I am just kidding.

I am being slut somewhere else but I am a good girl here, don't you see? ops: