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  1. #1
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    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Nakhon Thani: Skits from furthest Siam

    Part 1.

    Sean, an alcoholic ex-postal worker from Barking has yielded to the endearing nuances of Thai life. He has been living in the northeastern town of Nakhon Thani for the past three months.


  2. #2
    Lord of Swine
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    ^ You've lost weight!

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    You've lost weight!
    And gained about 50 years.

  4. #4
    Lord of Swine
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    ^ That'd be the Lao Khao fucking with you......

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    ^ That'd be the Lao Khao fucking with you......
    Sean. The lau khao is fucking with Sean.

  6. #6
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    You pair of drunken bastards.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke
    You pair of drunken bastards.
    Sean is actually based on withnall.

  8. #8
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    How cliche'......
    A rare disposition amongst Farang circles.

  9. #9
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    yes

    that was truly classic !

  10. #10
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke
    You pair of drunken bastards.
    Sean is actually based on withnall.
    No way.
    When i'm drunk i can't speak at all, let alone with a poncey southern accent.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke
    No way. When i'm drunk i can't speak at all, let alone with a poncey southern accent
    Can't be Withnail. he doesn't get angry when he's pissed. he just falls asleep.

  12. #12
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    So OK we export our idiots to the jungles of S E A but be fair we import idiots to the UK from the rest of the world too.


    Fair cop.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by chassamui
    Can't be Withnail. he doesn't get angry when he's pissed. he just falls asleep.
    It can go one of two ways. The other route involves five ladymen and a 12 tins of sardines.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    Nakhon Thani: Skits from furthest Siam Part 1. Sean, an alcoholic ex-postal worker from Barking has yielded to the endearing nuances of Thai life. He has been living in the northeastern town of Nakhon Thani for the past three months.
    Is this what happens when farang get tired of living in BKK or Pattaya?
    Or is it just for the idle who end up overstaying their visa?

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    It can go one of two ways. The other route involves five ladymen and a 12 tins of sardines.
    What about a goat? this thread needs a goat"

  16. #16
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    The video was actually scripted. But it's rather hard to read after drinking fifteen pints of Chang.

    This is the original intro script for Sean (withnall). We have other TD characters on the blend. It would be rude not to what with such an eclectic collection souls.

    Narrator: Sean has been living in Nakhon Thani with his girlfriend, Supaporn, for the past three months. We join him to see how he's fairing in the southeast Asian hinterlands.

    Narrator: How's life Sean?

    Sean: Shit.

    Narrator: Could you expand?


    Sean: I haven't had a hot shower or a proper bit of grub in months. I'm living off grains and bits of fucking bush - just random plucked greenery with the odd bit of nondescript flesh thrown into the wok. But I've stopped eating meat now since the Super managed to translate via an hour-long series of charades - Rat! I've been dining on fucking rat for the past month!

    Narrator: How did it taste?

    Sean: To be honest it tasted better than most of the processed shit you get off the deli counter in Sainsburys, but fuck me, have a heart. I used to have a little fucking guinea pig when was younger and it took me days to rid my brain of the thought that I'd been chewing on Patch's head for the past four weeks.

    Narrator: You were drugged and robbed in Bangkok, weren't you? How are the finances now?

    Sean: Not good. The Super's brassic. Her mater and pater haven't got two pennies between them and her [at][at][at][at] cousins are constantly on the scrounge. On the scrounge for what? They don't seem to be keeping up with the story. I was robbed you simple cunts. I've got fuck all, not even a fucking passport.
    They think I'm lying of course. White face equals cash. Wrong. My face isn't white any more anyway. Grafting in the fields will do that to a chap's tone of skin. I look like Desmond Tutu after a three month stint down a coal mine.

    Narrator: You've been working in the fields?

    Sean: It's my only means of survival. When the Super brought me up this way I was under the impression that she at least had a couple of quid stashed away. After all, the old girl'd been on the game for the best part of a decade and anybody with a bit of nouse about them's gonna think forward to those rainy days.

    Not this [at][at][at][at] though.

    The day, the very day after we'd arrived, and I've got a hangover the size of a bus, and she's all ' I spent the last of my money on train tickets, what are we gonna do?'

    How the fuck should I know? It ain't my fucking country, is it?

    I pulled the sheets back over my head to block the stares of her family who were eyeing me with both distaste and intrigue. We live in an open-plan hovel, about six metres square, and there is zero room for privacy. My hangover started to intensify and I poked my head from the sheets inquiring into the availability of a small top-up. The family simply glared in disgust. But one spark, one bright, bright spark, obviously sussed that my head was being crushed by the onset of possibly fatal alcohol withdrawal and he quickly escorted me to the local shop, three doors down. He ordered up two shots. One for him. One for me. The smell of it, the chemical odour made me heave. I was laughed at, suddenly aware that I wasn't the only person on the planet. And then I drained that drink, and I loved it.
    I was immediately fluent in the bollocks language that was being spoken in the shop and after a while, could have been a minute, could have been a week, I had been employed as a corn picker.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by chassamui
    Is this what happens when farang get tired of living in BKK or Pattaya?
    Or is it just for the idle who end up overstaying their visa
    Either or, Chaz. Probably more either than or, though...


    Quote Originally Posted by beerlaodrinker
    What about a goat? this thread needs a goat"
    There WILL be goats.

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