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Old 27-03-2013, 12:29 AM   #1 (permalink)
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I've got a new job!

I take drunk people who ride precariously pillion on my motorcycle back to their respective homes/barns/huts/allocated places in the fucking ditch, and it's turning into a most profitable venture indeed.

One trip invariably lines my gullet with a bottle of ale, a snifter of my favourite aperitif and on special occasions, a robust genitalia tampering, en route to their abodes, courtesy of the wandering hands of the sexually magnificent female farming contingent - although the sassy harlot who was last known to engage my bollocks in an impromptu act of vandalism is now firmly rooted to her husband's side who, in turn, offers me shy but horrendously contemptuous stares every time our paths unfortunately intertwine. The Siamese grapevine operates with alarming efficiency, and this fucker is more than aware that his better half has attempted, on several occasions, to rid Slap of his bollock juice.


But being the cool motherfucking customer I am, I have reduced social interaction, and am now the sole transporter of massively fucking drunken people to their places of residence, and am so far some 2 boxes of Australian Award Winners to the better.

Slap: Entrepreneur extraordinaire...
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Old 27-03-2013, 12:34 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Wouldn't their farming hands be horny, calloused claws that Satan himself be jealous of?
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Old 27-03-2013, 12:36 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Hope you got the work permit handy?
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Old 27-03-2013, 12:37 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kingwilly
Wouldn't their farming hands be horny, calloused claws that Satan himself be jealous of?
Would you like it udderwise?



Quote:
Originally Posted by somtamslap
The Siamese grapevine operates with alarming efficiency, and this fucker is more than aware that his better half has attempted, on several occasions, to rid Slap of his bollock juice.
Dodge the get fuck out of.
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Old 27-03-2013, 12:38 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kingwilly
Wouldn't their farming hands be horny, calloused claws that Satan himself be jealous of?
They would indeed. But I was nigh-on brought to a knee-jerk climax the last time the little minx laid her hand on me. There's something grotesquely sexual about filthy female farmers.
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Old 27-03-2013, 12:42 AM   #6 (permalink)
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You need to get a bike like Norton's . Although extremely Gay to look at (though not quite as camp as Elimators) there is a remarkable amount of storage space to conceal a nights takings of half drank Lao Khao and Award winners.



It also has an elevated pillion seat to prevent Somchai from attempting to ramrod you at 80kmh..
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Old 27-03-2013, 12:48 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by DJ Pat
Hope you got the work permit handy?
Work and Permit. An interesting brace of verbiage that Slap is largely unfamiliar with.
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Originally Posted by withnallstoke
Dodge the get fuck out of.
The hand that fondled was not forced.

If hubbie, who was incidentally shafting sluts in Buriram when the incident occurred, is unable to comprehend this, then I shall rightly go about smacking him upside the mush with a large award winning ale.
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Old 27-03-2013, 12:50 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kingwilly
Wouldn't their farming hands be horny, calloused claws that Satan himself be jealous of?
Would you like it udderwise?

Hell yeah, give me the baby bum smooth hands of a bone idle office worker any day!

My bollocks are delicate!
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Old 27-03-2013, 12:50 AM   #9 (permalink)
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there is a remarkable amount of storage space
Too right! I was swabbed on the sleeve with all manner of matter this evening.
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Old 27-03-2013, 01:45 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by withnallstoke View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by kingwilly
Wouldn't their farming hands be horny, calloused claws that Satan himself be jealous of?
Would you like it udderwise?

Hell yeah, give me the baby bum smooth hands of a bone idle office worker any day!

My bollocks are delicate!
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Old 27-03-2013, 05:15 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Old 27-03-2013, 09:42 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Already got two booking for this evening. 7.30pm sharp. Free beer is good beer.
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Old 27-03-2013, 11:47 AM   #13 (permalink)
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To be the full motorsai taxi package, you gotta know the best local place for weed and the best local no falangs brothel.
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Old 27-03-2013, 11:52 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Wouldn't their farming hands be horny, calloused claws that Satan himself be jealous of?
Fortunately for Slap this terrible malady is only evident in Thai women
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Old 27-03-2013, 11:55 AM   #15 (permalink)
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If you succumb to the advances of the local harlot, you will forever be dammed in the community. Never shit where you eat!
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Old 27-03-2013, 12:02 PM   #16 (permalink)
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If you succumb to the advances of the local harlot, you will forever be dammed in the community. Never shit where you eat!
You're preaching to the choir, homeboy. Slap knows the score.
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Old 27-03-2013, 12:08 PM   #17 (permalink)
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She'll swear blind she's single, like most Thai females, but will most probably have baggy stretch marks & droopy breasts after knocking out four baby somchais.
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Old 27-03-2013, 12:12 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Old 27-03-2013, 12:12 PM   #19 (permalink)
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You're preaching to the choir, homeboy. Slap knows the score.
OK Bubba, but what about those weak moments you seem to have? Sundays in particular?
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Old 27-03-2013, 12:14 PM   #20 (permalink)
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This you Thetyim? Sorry can't send a green. Excellent!
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Old 27-03-2013, 12:18 PM   #21 (permalink)
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This is a normal sight, in the west. And these fat bitches will still moan and nag as if they are some sex goddess. Men in the west accept this as equality though. Sad innit!
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Old 27-03-2013, 03:49 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Quote:
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This is a normal sight, in the west.
West Brom? Na, no thanks, can't get there from here, uggg, ohmygod look at Slaps girlfriend, ouch my ass is sore, she's a looker, me and my dream machine....
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Old 27-03-2013, 04:08 PM   #23 (permalink)
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You will have to get yourself a nice little tuktuk so your customers can be a little more comfortable you can trick it out with lights and shit and it can also hold more free beer!
Win/Win right?
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Old 27-03-2013, 04:59 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ltnt
ohmygod look at Slaps girlfriend,
Uber babe, int she? It's like having a go on a fucking wave machine.


Quote:
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You will have to get yourself a nice little tuktuk so your customers can be a little more comfortable you can trick it out with lights and shit and it can also hold more free beer!
The tuk tuk will come as the enterprise slowly expands. I'll soon have a whole fleet of them doing the rounds.
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Old 27-03-2013, 05:23 PM   #25 (permalink)
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FFS,nice one
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