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Thread: Here at last

  1. #1
    Newbie Nutsy's Avatar
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    Here at last

    Ok, after being cooped up like a battery hen for 12 sodding hours on Misery Air ltd's clapped out 767 complete with droopy wings I have made it too LOS.

    However the start to the journey got off with flying colours at Heathrow, when the everso happy chappy at customs took offence to the voice bringing with it a handheld food blender! 'Do you realise you are not allowed blades on a flight', he bellowed, to which my reply of 'do you know how much mess it would make shoved up your arse' did'nt really go down very well as I was ushered off to be even more thoroughly searched!

    With that little episode done and dusted we set off toward Mumbai for our connecting flight. The first part of the flight passed without too much trauma and after being without sleep for the previous 48hrs I soon nodded off into dreamland.

    Upon arrival in Mumbai we had an 8hr wait for our connection, which I thought would be ok. I have my laptop and phone so can pass the time ok, or so I thought. So with my cup of suspiciously unmilky latte (which I am sure the bastard robbed me for) I sat down for a little entertainment laptop style. How bloody wrong was I?

    After trying to log on to the airport free wifi hotspots but refusing to give my credit card details I find myself with no connection to anything. Several expletives of an Indian nature flowed through my head, until I thought fine, I will go and spend my time in the smoking bin.

    The voice was wandering around the airport trying to get some last minute bargains and I could hear it rowing with some poor unsuspecting shop attendant about only being allowed one bottle of spirits. You go girl I thought and left her to it .

    In the smoking bin I made the acqaintance of a very drunk typical british package holidaymaker, who came from Birmingham. This I thought could entertain me for a while, so I struck up a (I hesitate at the word conversation) communication with him. It transpires that this is his 7th visit to LOS, and as he so politely put it he only comes to 'Fu/k the livin shit out of the dirty greasy cnuts!' Thats nice I replied! whilst thinking to myself 'Its a good job my missus didnt hear that, I think your fucking days would be over pretty rapid if she did.' So after a few hours of this banter we boarded our flight to BKK.

    I sat on a remnant of laker airways old fleet (it really was that old) waiting for the other passengers to board. I had already spied 3 of the doorway seats and stated if they were free, then I was having them to the flight attendant which to my surprise she agreed too if no-one was using them.

    Then he came in. The largest smelliest most uncouth person I have had the misfortune to meet. Plonks himself straight into doorway seats (which it transpires were reserved for him, as he cant fit in a normal seat) and then passes wind. What a fkn charming thing to be sat behind I thought. A bit like flying with Jabba the hut!

    Straight back went the seatbacks, to be met with my of constant thumping on the backrest to get him to move it forward just a bit. He did this begrudgingly and I settled for another leg of the flight.

    I was awakened from my slumber by Jabba asking if I could fill in his landing card as he cannot write in English! This I did just to get some piece and quiet and in return for moving his seat up one further notch.

    We soon landed in BKK, got through the obligatory checks no problem and then just waited for our lift from the airport.


    Part two to follow soon.
    s

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat
    the dogcatcher's Avatar
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    A good flight then?

  3. #3
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    8 hrs at Mumbai . whoa rather u than me . I've got an hr at Delhi but I've the wife n boy.

    yes it was naff for me too in January ( my dad recommend it) as I usually fly with one of the emeraite airlines . the old git wait till I see him.

    Anyway chill ur here now , one of our members will be along soon and chat u up for a drink as he does with most.
    will not put up wiv the "Nanny state" so don't push it on me.

  4. #4
    splendid and tremendous
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    Do we know where Jabba hailed from?

  5. #5
    Newbie Nutsy's Avatar
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    I believe Jabba hailed from the fillipines

  6. #6
    Newbie Nutsy's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=adzt1;2389350]8 hrs at Mumbai . whoa rather u than me


    Iam a glutton for punishment it would seem lol

  7. #7
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nutsy
    I believe Jabba hailed from the fillipines
    People like Jabba should be forced to swim.

    If I get anyone like him near me on my flight back home, gravy will most definitely spill.

  8. #8
    Philippine Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nutsy View Post
    I believe Jabba hailed from the fillipines
    Why Philippines? Filipinos are many things, but after 17 years here, I cant remember ever running into one who stunk, and hugely fat Filipinos are as rare as polite Chinese.

  9. #9
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    ^ 555

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nutsy
    Straight back went the seatbacks
    I always wedge my legs behind the seat if I see any movement whatsover towards the 'ignorance button'. At 6'2" they're not putting heir bloody seats back if I'm behind them.

  11. #11
    Thailand Expat draco888's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Davis Knowlton View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Nutsy View Post
    I believe Jabba hailed from the fillipines
    Why Philippines? Filipinos are many things, but after 17 years here, I cant remember ever running into one who stunk, and hugely fat Filipinos are as rare as polite Chinese.
    Most Filipinos would have no problems writing English either, especially ones on international flights.

  12. #12
    Pedantic bastard
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    Quote Originally Posted by draco888 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Davis Knowlton View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Nutsy View Post
    I believe Jabba hailed from the fillipines
    Why Philippines? Filipinos are many things, but after 17 years here, I cant remember ever running into one who stunk, and hugely fat Filipinos are as rare as polite Chinese.
    Most Filipinos would have no problems writing English either, especially ones on international flights.
    The poster said he filled in jabbas landing card- would have required his passport, so can't think he is too far off track.....

  13. #13
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    G'day Nutsy,
    When I read your 1st post, I thought you were in your
    mid 50's.
    Just had a little gander at your forum info, you're 42,
    too young to retire in Thailand, I have known a few falangs
    your age who tried to do it, & in the end they all had to return
    to their countries, for whatever reason.
    I hope you buck the trend & make a go of it in Thailand, &
    even kick the bucket here, like I'm sure I will

  14. #14
    Thailand Expat terry57's Avatar
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    Sounds positively nasty Nutsy, never to a Pom who chain smokes cigarets.

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    Thailand Expat Finney64's Avatar
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    ^ Could've been worse Terry, imagine if it was an Israeli backpacker

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Do we know where Jabba hailed from?
    Does it matter?

    Reads rather typically homogenous.

  17. #17
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    "However the start to the journey got off with flying colours at Heathrow, when the everso happy chappy at customs took offence to the voice bringing with it a handheld food blender! 'Do you realise you are not allowed blades on a flight', he bellowed, to which my reply of 'do you know how much mess it would make shoved up your arse' did'nt really go down very well as I was ushered off to be even more thoroughly searched!"

    With that attitude towards authority, I just know you are going to have a fun time in Thailand! Thai cops just love falongs with attitude!

    Chok Dee!

    RickThai

  18. #18
    Railway enthusiast
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    Oh jeeezus, I had 7hrs at Mumbai airport, nothing to do, browsed the same shops many times even walked to the furthest toilets to pass the time. Could be worse though.

    Muscat airport in 2001 was a glorified shed.

    PS. Hate those pricks who immedietely recline their seats in front of me 'just cos they can'. I had a greasy mop of hair about 6 inches from my chest. Like Marmite, I bang the seat furiously and get them to exercise at least some fucking common sense.

    Don't understand the recline thing anyway. The angle it goes to makes my back hurt.

  19. #19
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    ^now you know how your cus feels

  20. #20
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    Droopy wings, ex Laker....... A bit of license?

    Glad you enjoyed the trip[s] and beautiful Bombay airport

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Pat View Post
    Oh jeeezus, I had 7hrs at Mumbai airport, nothing to do, browsed the same shops many times even walked to the furthest toilets to pass the time. Could be worse though.

    Muscat airport in 2001 was a glorified shed.

    PS. Hate those pricks who immedietely recline their seats in front of me 'just cos they can'. I had a greasy mop of hair about 6 inches from my chest. Like Marmite, I bang the seat furiously and get them to exercise at least some fucking common sense.

    Don't understand the recline thing anyway. The angle it goes to makes my back hurt.
    The flight attendants hate the reclining seats too, not surprisingly they are the major cause of disputes between passengers during flights. Even more annoying when the selfish bastards leave them reclined during meal service.

  22. #22
    Lord of Swine
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    If I ever fly economy, they never get the chance to put the seat back. Keep my knees firmly planted in the back of the seat until they try a few times, then think their seat is broken.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99 View Post
    If I ever fly economy, they never get the chance to put the seat back. Keep my knees firmly planted in the back of the seat until they try a few times, then think their seat is broken.
    I do exactly the same thing, but occasionally you get one that snivels to the flight attendant.

    I've found that getting to the airport early and asking for the emergency exit row is well worth the extra effort.

  24. #24
    Lord of Swine
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    ^ usually have to book ( and increasingly pay ) for those seats, and I do. Extra 45 bucks per sector on qantas.

  25. #25
    Thailand Expat terry57's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BobR View Post

    Even more annoying when the selfish bastards leave them reclined during meal service.

    Nope, fuk that Bobby that's where I draw the line.

    I ask the flight attendant to tell the cont infront to put the seat up whilst I eat my meal. They always sort it.

    Saves me ending up in Jail after Ive stabbed the cont in the back of the head with my sharpened plastic knife.
    Stroller is a Yerman faggot.

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