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|14-03-2013, 12:03 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Here at last
Ok, after being cooped up like a battery hen for 12 sodding hours on Misery Air ltd's clapped out 767 complete with droopy wings I have made it too LOS.
However the start to the journey got off with flying colours at Heathrow, when the everso happy chappy at customs took offence to the voice bringing with it a handheld food blender! 'Do you realise you are not allowed blades on a flight', he bellowed, to which my reply of 'do you know how much mess it would make shoved up your arse' did'nt really go down very well as I was ushered off to be even more thoroughly searched!
With that little episode done and dusted we set off toward Mumbai for our connecting flight. The first part of the flight passed without too much trauma and after being without sleep for the previous 48hrs I soon nodded off into dreamland.
Upon arrival in Mumbai we had an 8hr wait for our connection, which I thought would be ok. I have my laptop and phone so can pass the time ok, or so I thought. So with my cup of suspiciously unmilky latte (which I am sure the bastard robbed me for) I sat down for a little entertainment laptop style. How bloody wrong was I?
After trying to log on to the airport free wifi hotspots but refusing to give my credit card details I find myself with no connection to anything. Several expletives of an Indian nature flowed through my head, until I thought fine, I will go and spend my time in the smoking bin.
The voice was wandering around the airport trying to get some last minute bargains and I could hear it rowing with some poor unsuspecting shop attendant about only being allowed one bottle of spirits. You go girl I thought and left her to it .
In the smoking bin I made the acqaintance of a very drunk typical british package holidaymaker, who came from Birmingham. This I thought could entertain me for a while, so I struck up a (I hesitate at the word conversation) communication with him. It transpires that this is his 7th visit to LOS, and as he so politely put it he only comes to 'Fu/k the livin shit out of the dirty greasy cnuts!' Thats nice I replied! whilst thinking to myself 'Its a good job my missus didnt hear that, I think your fucking days would be over pretty rapid if she did.' So after a few hours of this banter we boarded our flight to BKK.
I sat on a remnant of laker airways old fleet (it really was that old) waiting for the other passengers to board. I had already spied 3 of the doorway seats and stated if they were free, then I was having them to the flight attendant which to my surprise she agreed too if no-one was using them.
Then he came in. The largest smelliest most uncouth person I have had the misfortune to meet. Plonks himself straight into doorway seats (which it transpires were reserved for him, as he cant fit in a normal seat) and then passes wind. What a fkn charming thing to be sat behind I thought. A bit like flying with Jabba the hut!
Straight back went the seatbacks, to be met with my of constant thumping on the backrest to get him to move it forward just a bit. He did this begrudgingly and I settled for another leg of the flight.
I was awakened from my slumber by Jabba asking if I could fill in his landing card as he cannot write in English! This I did just to get some piece and quiet and in return for moving his seat up one further notch.
We soon landed in BKK, got through the obligatory checks no problem and then just waited for our lift from the airport.
Part two to follow soon.
|14-03-2013, 12:36 PM||#3 (permalink)|
Last Online: 23-08-2016 07:02 PM
Join Date: Apr 2007
8 hrs at Mumbai . whoa rather u than me . I've got an hr at Delhi but I've the wife n boy.
yes it was naff for me too in January ( my dad recommend it) as I usually fly with one of the emeraite airlines . the old git wait till I see him.
Anyway chill ur here now , one of our members will be along soon and chat u up for a drink as he does with most.
will not put up wiv the "Nanny state" so don't push it on me.
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|14-03-2013, 12:57 PM||#7 (permalink)|
splendid and tremendous
Last Online: Today 03:08 AM
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Down on the farm
If I get anyone like him near me on my flight back home, gravy will most definitely spill.
|14-03-2013, 01:37 PM||#8 (permalink)|
Join Date: Sep 2009
|14-03-2013, 02:13 PM||#10 (permalink)|
Last Online: 08-09-2014 10:43 AM
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Simian Islands
|14-03-2013, 02:48 PM||#11 (permalink)|
Last Online: 13-02-2016 05:01 PM
Join Date: May 2011
|14-03-2013, 02:53 PM||#12 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2008
|14-03-2013, 03:50 PM||#13 (permalink)|
Last Online: 10-08-2016 01:43 PM
Join Date: Jul 2009
When I read your 1st post, I thought you were in your
Just had a little gander at your forum info, you're 42,
too young to retire in Thailand, I have known a few falangs
your age who tried to do it, & in the end they all had to return
to their countries, for whatever reason.
I hope you buck the trend & make a go of it in Thailand, &
even kick the bucket here, like I'm sure I will
|14-03-2013, 10:18 PM||#17 (permalink)|
Last Online: 23-06-2014 11:30 PM
Join Date: Jan 2012
"However the start to the journey got off with flying colours at Heathrow, when the everso happy chappy at customs took offence to the voice bringing with it a handheld food blender! 'Do you realise you are not allowed blades on a flight', he bellowed, to which my reply of 'do you know how much mess it would make shoved up your arse' did'nt really go down very well as I was ushered off to be even more thoroughly searched!"
With that attitude towards authority, I just know you are going to have a fun time in Thailand! Thai cops just love falongs with attitude!
|15-03-2013, 12:21 AM||#18 (permalink)|
Lobotomy in progress
Oh jeeezus, I had 7hrs at Mumbai airport, nothing to do, browsed the same shops many times even walked to the furthest toilets to pass the time. Could be worse though.
Muscat airport in 2001 was a glorified shed.
PS. Hate those pricks who immedietely recline their seats in front of me 'just cos they can'. I had a greasy mop of hair about 6 inches from my chest. Like Marmite, I bang the seat furiously and get them to exercise at least some fucking common sense.
Don't understand the recline thing anyway. The angle it goes to makes my back hurt.
|15-03-2013, 10:34 AM||#21 (permalink)|
|15-03-2013, 01:51 PM||#23 (permalink)|
I've found that getting to the airport early and asking for the emergency exit row is well worth the extra effort.
|15-03-2013, 03:16 PM||#25 (permalink)|
I am in Jail
Last Online: 01-08-2016 07:33 PM
Join Date: Mar 2007
Nope, fuk that Bobby that's where I draw the line.
I ask the flight attendant to tell the cont infront to put the seat up whilst I eat my meal. They always sort it.
Saves me ending up in Jail after Ive stabbed the cont in the back of the head with my sharpened plastic knife.
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