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somtamslap · 06-03-2013, 03:14 PM

I've just assisted a pair of female Dutch gap year students with the apparently highly complex task of adding currency to their telecommunication devices. Now whilst I stood tapping in the relevant numbers with the air of a supremely versed telephone technician about me, I found myself in admiration of their flowing blond locks and heaving busts which in turn created a wave of excitement in my underpants. But after a more careful and thorough scrutinization of the two, another emotion immediately extinguished the fire of lust and replaced it with a sentiment on the opposite end of the spectrum; that of sheer fucking hate.

Look at you! With your brand new telephones which have probably got daddy's bank manager on speed dial!

Look at you! With your 'anklets'!

Look at you! With your backpacks the size of a fucking bus!

Look at you! With your 'traveller's cheques'!

Look at you! With your pork chop ridden arses!

Look at you! With your erdy fucking gurdy accents!

Look at you! With your 'painted toenails'!

Look at you! With your Lonely Planet with post-it notes on relevant pages!

Look at you! With your 'I've had a Pad Thai so therefore I know everything there is to know about this country' look all over your fucking face!

Look at you! With your plane ticket to Indonesia where you will subsequently disembark and shack up with a tribe of pygmies in order to 'discover yourself'!

Just fucking look at you!

Fuck off back to The Hague you horrible bunch of poofs!

Necron99 · 06-03-2013, 03:24 PM

You should have plied them with LK and robbed them, the let Por have his filthy way with them.
You'll need a new phone back in blighty I suspect.
And they, with some years of hindsight would probably look on it as both a valuable life lesson and a great travelers tale.

somtamslap · 06-03-2013, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Necron99

And they, with some years of hindsight would probably look on it as both a valuable life lesson and a great travelers tale.

A few minutes with Por would scar the poor fuckers forever - mentally and physically.

withnallstoke · 06-03-2013, 03:29 PM

Just spoke to a couple of Dutch students.
They were saying they couldn't believe how fat, smelly, drunk, lewd and crude some of the expats were.
One of them reckoned this large geezer was keeping a small live animal in the front of his Y fronts.

And he nicked one of their phones.

cymru · 06-03-2013, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Necron99

You should have plied them with LK and robbed them, the let Por have his filthy way with them.
You'll need a new phone back in blighty I suspect.
And they, with some years of hindsight would probably look on it as both a valuable life lesson and a great travelers tale.

Yes..and get daddy's bank manager to send over some extra socializing funds

somtamslap · 06-03-2013, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by withnallstoke

Just spoke to a couple of Dutch students.
They were saying they couldn't believe how fat, smelly, drunk, lewd and crude some of the expats were.
One of them reckoned this large geezer was keeping a small live animal in the front of his Y fronts.

And he nicked one of their phones.

You see! From Isaan to the south in minutes. I bet the fuckers chartered a plane...

withnallstoke · 06-03-2013, 03:39 PM

somtamslap · 06-03-2013, 04:06 PM

^ Thoughtful post withnall. Thank you for that quite remarkable contribution.

corned dog · 06-03-2013, 04:07 PM

Did they have them plastic flip flops on that look like clogs ????

somtamslap · 06-03-2013, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by corned dog

Did they have them plastic flip flops on that look like clogs ????

Luckily no. I would've been forced to beat them if that were the case.

corned dog · 06-03-2013, 04:14 PM

Correct answer mate

ltnt · 06-03-2013, 04:58 PM

I chanced to spot quite a few yesterday while waiting for my exit flight out of Bangkok.

Question kept coming to my mind; What's in those humongous back packs? Did they leave anything back home where they came from? Why do they all look identical?

I did also note that not one had hooked up with anything looking Asian?

Do Chinese qualify as foreigners?

somtamslap · 06-03-2013, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ltnt

Do Chinese qualify as foreigners?

They be the worst, man!

Rural Surin · 06-03-2013, 05:33 PM

Farang visitors are special, aren't they?

ShrewedPunter · 07-03-2013, 04:15 AM

backpackers have some fcking HUGGE backpacks that is for sure.

God knows what they keep in them

jizzybloke · 07-03-2013, 05:21 AM

Not fucking soap...

wasabi · 07-03-2013, 05:46 AM

The backpacks look huge because they are straped onto the backs of dainty little girls.

mingmong · 07-03-2013, 05:54 AM

Young Dutch all look 6 foot 4 , full of growth Hormones from the Green House Vegies

I used to sell old Bangers to Backpackers in Oz, all them never had a Car before, some there Mum was paying for, most couldn't drive a straight line..........was fun

DrAndy · 07-03-2013, 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShrewedPunter

backpackers have some fcking HUGGE backpacks that is for sure.

God knows what they keep in them

Maybe we should have a poll, or just ask some of them

I used to travel around and be a bit proud (yes, yes, stupid too) of travelling light

I was often asked by fellow travellers "is that all you have?" or "how do you manage with such a small bag?"

seemed easy to me

Necron99 · 07-03-2013, 08:09 AM

I used to come here with just my wallet and my Walkman.

DJ Pat · 07-03-2013, 09:20 AM

Two sets of changes of clothes and three sets of socks and underwear. In Thailand you can wash them out while you take a shower, and hang them out. Dry in a couple of hours. What's so hard?

Also worth packing a set of going out clothes, something smart, and some decent footwear.

Camera, music player, toiletries and a small towel.

That still don't fill a huge backpack, for fucks sake.

liveinlos · 07-03-2013, 10:11 AM

The other day I picked up 2 french couples in Khao Yai. They were looking for the Pak Chong Train Station. They had some printed out maps and couldn't figure out they were 50+km away from the train station or even which direction to go. They couldn't find anyone at Khao Yai that spoke English, as the place was void of any tourists or people for that matter. I surmise backpackers must do allot of unnecessary walking on their worldly jaunts.

DJ Pat · 07-03-2013, 10:17 AM

It's funny when you try and help some backpackers and they get a bit cautious when you get too helpful. I offered to walk two fresh backpackers to Soi Rambutree one evening from nearby Khao San road. ''It's ok, we'll find it'' They insisted. I shrugged and left them to it.

Later that evening I saw them drunk sitting outside a bar, like they were old timers.

Obviously they've read about 'friendly strangers' in the Lonely Planet.

swampfox1001 · 07-03-2013, 10:38 AM

What a hateful post! If it was a joke, it was a poor one. If it was not a joke, then get a life!

Norton · 07-03-2013, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by somtamslap

But after a more careful and thorough scrutinization of the two, another emotion immediately extinguished the fire of lust and replaced it with a sentiment on the opposite end of the spectrum; that of sheer fucking hate.

You tink too mut.

06-03-2013, 03:14 PM	#1 (permalink)
somtamslap splendid and tremendous Last Online: 22-05-2013 09:19 PM Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 8,367	Gap Year Students I've just assisted a pair of female Dutch gap year students with the apparently highly complex task of adding currency to their telecommunication devices. Now whilst I stood tapping in the relevant numbers with the air of a supremely versed telephone technician about me, I found myself in admiration of their flowing blond locks and heaving busts which in turn created a wave of excitement in my underpants. But after a more careful and thorough scrutinization of the two, another emotion immediately extinguished the fire of lust and replaced it with a sentiment on the opposite end of the spectrum; that of sheer fucking hate. Look at you! With your brand new telephones which have probably got daddy's bank manager on speed dial! Look at you! With your 'anklets'! Look at you! With your backpacks the size of a fucking bus! Look at you! With your 'traveller's cheques'! Look at you! With your pork chop ridden arses! Look at you! With your erdy fucking gurdy accents! Look at you! With your 'painted toenails'! Look at you! With your Lonely Planet with post-it notes on relevant pages! Look at you! With your 'I've had a Pad Thai so therefore I know everything there is to know about this country' look all over your fucking face! Look at you! With your plane ticket to Indonesia where you will subsequently disembark and shack up with a tribe of pygmies in order to 'discover yourself'! Just fucking look at you! Fuck off back to The Hague you horrible bunch of poofs! Last edited by somtamslap : 06-03-2013 at 03:24 PM.

06-03-2013, 04:58 PM	#12 (permalink)
ltnt Thailand Expat Last Online: Yesterday 05:41 PM Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Ex-Pat Thailand Posts: 4,074	I chanced to spot quite a few yesterday while waiting for my exit flight out of Bangkok. Question kept coming to my mind; What's in those humongous back packs? Did they leave anything back home where they came from? Why do they all look identical? I did also note that not one had hooked up with anything looking Asian? Do Chinese qualify as foreigners? __________________ Life is tough...even tougher for stupid people. "John Wayne"

07-03-2013, 09:20 AM	#21 (permalink)
DJ Pat aka Pattaya Royale on SZS Last Online: Yesterday 10:06 PM Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 7,863	Two sets of changes of clothes and three sets of socks and underwear. In Thailand you can wash them out while you take a shower, and hang them out. Dry in a couple of hours. What's so hard? Also worth packing a set of going out clothes, something smart, and some decent footwear. Camera, music player, toiletries and a small towel. That still don't fill a huge backpack, for fucks sake. __________________ When I was in America a guy told me to 'have a nice day' but I didn't, so I sued him

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06-03-2013, 03:24 PM	#2 (permalink)
Necron99 R Last Online: Yesterday 10:32 PM Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Nahkon Sawon Posts: 3,963	You should have plied them with LK and robbed them, the let Por have his filthy way with them. You'll need a new phone back in blighty I suspect. And they, with some years of hindsight would probably look on it as both a valuable life lesson and a great travelers tale.

06-03-2013, 03:29 PM	#4 (permalink)
withnallstoke Wankered on WWJ Last Online: Yesterday 09:41 PM Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: The Felcher Memorial Home. Posts: 9,049	Just spoke to a couple of Dutch students. They were saying they couldn't believe how fat, smelly, drunk, lewd and crude some of the expats were. One of them reckoned this large geezer was keeping a small live animal in the front of his Y fronts. And he nicked one of their phones.

06-03-2013, 03:39 PM	#7 (permalink)
withnallstoke Wankered on WWJ Last Online: Yesterday 09:41 PM Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: The Felcher Memorial Home. Posts: 9,049

06-03-2013, 04:06 PM	#8 (permalink)
somtamslap splendid and tremendous Last Online: 22-05-2013 09:19 PM Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 8,367	^ Thoughtful post withnall. Thank you for that quite remarkable contribution.

06-03-2013, 04:07 PM	#9 (permalink)
corned dog Member Last Online: 21-05-2013 05:49 AM Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 590	Did they have them plastic flip flops on that look like clogs ????

06-03-2013, 04:14 PM	#11 (permalink)
corned dog Member Last Online: 21-05-2013 05:49 AM Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 590	Correct answer mate

06-03-2013, 05:33 PM	#14 (permalink)
Rural Surin morbidly fascinated Last Online: Yesterday 07:21 PM Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: กาฬสินธุ์ Posts: 23,520	Farang visitors are special, aren't they?

07-03-2013, 04:15 AM	#15 (permalink)
ShrewedPunter Member Last Online: 12-05-2013 06:59 PM Join Date: May 2012 Location: UK Posts: 958	backpackers have some fcking HUGGE backpacks that is for sure. God knows what they keep in them

07-03-2013, 05:21 AM	#16 (permalink)
jizzybloke Special member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 7,454	Not fucking soap...

07-03-2013, 05:46 AM	#17 (permalink)
wasabi Member Last Online: Yesterday 10:38 PM Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: England Posts: 833	The backpacks look huge because they are straped onto the backs of dainty little girls.

07-03-2013, 05:54 AM	#18 (permalink)
mingmong Member Last Online: Yesterday 04:24 PM Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 576	Young Dutch all look 6 foot 4 , full of growth Hormones from the Green House Vegies I used to sell old Bangers to Backpackers in Oz, all them never had a Car before, some there Mum was paying for, most couldn't drive a straight line..........was fun

07-03-2013, 08:09 AM	#20 (permalink)
Necron99 R Last Online: Yesterday 10:32 PM Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Nahkon Sawon Posts: 3,963	I used to come here with just my wallet and my Walkman.

07-03-2013, 10:11 AM	#22 (permalink)
liveinlos Member Last Online: Yesterday 09:10 PM Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Isaan Posts: 311	The other day I picked up 2 french couples in Khao Yai. They were looking for the Pak Chong Train Station. They had some printed out maps and couldn't figure out they were 50+km away from the train station or even which direction to go. They couldn't find anyone at Khao Yai that spoke English, as the place was void of any tourists or people for that matter. I surmise backpackers must do allot of unnecessary walking on their worldly jaunts.

07-03-2013, 10:17 AM	#23 (permalink)
DJ Pat aka Pattaya Royale on SZS Last Online: Yesterday 10:06 PM Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 7,863	It's funny when you try and help some backpackers and they get a bit cautious when you get too helpful. I offered to walk two fresh backpackers to Soi Rambutree one evening from nearby Khao San road. ''It's ok, we'll find it'' They insisted. I shrugged and left them to it. Later that evening I saw them drunk sitting outside a bar, like they were old timers. Obviously they've read about 'friendly strangers' in the Lonely Planet.

07-03-2013, 10:38 AM	#24 (permalink)
swampfox1001 Member Last Online: 16-04-2013 03:22 PM Join Date: Sep 2012 Posts: 69	What a hateful post! If it was a joke, it was a poor one. If it was not a joke, then get a life!

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