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  1. #1
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Gap Year Students

    I've just assisted a pair of female Dutch gap year students with the apparently highly complex task of adding currency to their telecommunication devices. Now whilst I stood tapping in the relevant numbers with the air of a supremely versed telephone technician about me, I found myself in admiration of their flowing blond locks and heaving busts which in turn created a wave of excitement in my underpants. But after a more careful and thorough scrutinization of the two, another emotion immediately extinguished the fire of lust and replaced it with a sentiment on the opposite end of the spectrum; that of sheer fucking hate.

    Look at you! With your brand new telephones which have probably got daddy's bank manager on speed dial!

    Look at you! With your 'anklets'!

    Look at you! With your backpacks the size of a fucking bus!

    Look at you! With your 'traveller's cheques'!

    Look at you! With your pork chop ridden arses!

    Look at you! With your erdy fucking gurdy accents!

    Look at you! With your 'painted toenails'!

    Look at you! With your Lonely Planet with post-it notes on relevant pages!

    Look at you! With your 'I've had a Pad Thai so therefore I know everything there is to know about this country' look all over your fucking face!

    Look at you! With your plane ticket to Indonesia where you will subsequently disembark and shack up with a tribe of pygmies in order to 'discover yourself'!

    Just fucking look at you!

    Fuck off back to The Hague you horrible bunch of poofs!
    Last edited by somtamslap; 06-03-2013 at 04:24 PM.

  2. #2
    Lord of Swine
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    You should have plied them with LK and robbed them, the let Por have his filthy way with them.
    You'll need a new phone back in blighty I suspect.
    And they, with some years of hindsight would probably look on it as both a valuable life lesson and a great travelers tale.

  3. #3
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    And they, with some years of hindsight would probably look on it as both a valuable life lesson and a great travelers tale.
    A few minutes with Por would scar the poor fuckers forever - mentally and physically.

  4. #4
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Just spoke to a couple of Dutch students.
    They were saying they couldn't believe how fat, smelly, drunk, lewd and crude some of the expats were.
    One of them reckoned this large geezer was keeping a small live animal in the front of his Y fronts.

    And he nicked one of their phones.

  5. #5
    Member cymru's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99 View Post
    You should have plied them with LK and robbed them, the let Por have his filthy way with them.
    You'll need a new phone back in blighty I suspect.
    And they, with some years of hindsight would probably look on it as both a valuable life lesson and a great travelers tale.
    Yes..and get daddy's bank manager to send over some extra socializing funds

  6. #6
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke
    Just spoke to a couple of Dutch students.
    They were saying they couldn't believe how fat, smelly, drunk, lewd and crude some of the expats were.
    One of them reckoned this large geezer was keeping a small live animal in the front of his Y fronts.

    And he nicked one of their phones.
    You see! From Isaan to the south in minutes. I bet the fuckers chartered a plane...

  7. #7
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
    withnallstoke's Avatar
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  8. #8
    splendid and tremendous
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    ^ Thoughtful post withnall. Thank you for that quite remarkable contribution.

  9. #9
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    Did they have them plastic flip flops on that look like clogs ????

  10. #10
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by corned dog
    Did they have them plastic flip flops on that look like clogs ????
    Luckily no. I would've been forced to beat them if that were the case.

  11. #11
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    Correct answer mate

  12. #12
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    I chanced to spot quite a few yesterday while waiting for my exit flight out of Bangkok.

    Question kept coming to my mind; What's in those humongous back packs? Did they leave anything back home where they came from? Why do they all look identical?

    I did also note that not one had hooked up with anything looking Asian?

    Do Chinese qualify as foreigners?

  13. #13
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by ltnt
    Do Chinese qualify as foreigners?
    They be the worst, man!

  14. #14
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    Farang visitors are special, aren't they?

  15. #15
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    backpackers have some fcking HUGGE backpacks that is for sure.

    God knows what they keep in them

  16. #16
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    Not fucking soap...

  17. #17
    Thailand Expat
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    The backpacks look huge because they are straped onto the backs of dainty little girls.

  18. #18
    Thailand Expat mingmong's Avatar
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    Young Dutch all look 6 foot 4 , full of growth Hormones from the Green House Vegies

    I used to sell old Bangers to Backpackers in Oz, all them never had a Car before, some there Mum was paying for, most couldn't drive a straight line..........was fun

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by ShrewedPunter View Post
    backpackers have some fcking HUGGE backpacks that is for sure.

    God knows what they keep in them

    Maybe we should have a poll, or just ask some of them

    I used to travel around and be a bit proud (yes, yes, stupid too) of travelling light

    I was often asked by fellow travellers "is that all you have?" or "how do you manage with such a small bag?"


    seemed easy to me
    I have reported your post

  20. #20
    Lord of Swine
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    I used to come here with just my wallet and my Walkman.

  21. #21
    Merry Christmas
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    Two sets of changes of clothes and three sets of socks and underwear. In Thailand you can wash them out while you take a shower, and hang them out. Dry in a couple of hours. What's so hard?

    Also worth packing a set of going out clothes, something smart, and some decent footwear.

    Camera, music player, toiletries and a small towel.

    That still don't fill a huge backpack, for fucks sake.

  22. #22
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    The other day I picked up 2 french couples in Khao Yai. They were looking for the Pak Chong Train Station. They had some printed out maps and couldn't figure out they were 50+km away from the train station or even which direction to go. They couldn't find anyone at Khao Yai that spoke English, as the place was void of any tourists or people for that matter. I surmise backpackers must do allot of unnecessary walking on their worldly jaunts.

  23. #23
    Merry Christmas
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    It's funny when you try and help some backpackers and they get a bit cautious when you get too helpful. I offered to walk two fresh backpackers to Soi Rambutree one evening from nearby Khao San road. ''It's ok, we'll find it'' They insisted. I shrugged and left them to it.

    Later that evening I saw them drunk sitting outside a bar, like they were old timers.

    Obviously they've read about 'friendly strangers' in the Lonely Planet.

  24. #24
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    What a hateful post! If it was a joke, it was a poor one. If it was not a joke, then get a life!

  25. #25
    Days Work Done! Norton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    But after a more careful and thorough scrutinization of the two, another emotion immediately extinguished the fire of lust and replaced it with a sentiment on the opposite end of the spectrum; that of sheer fucking hate.
    You tink too mut.


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