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somtamslap · 04-03-2013, 10:51 AM

I'm rather partial to southern Thai cuisine, in particularly the curries.

The aromatic blend of a thousand and one different herbs and spices encased in a rich and creamy coconut milk based soup has one's senses performing enthusiastic cart-wheels towards the source of the fragrant bouquet.

The colouration of the dish alone deems it unrivalled in terms of vibrancy, and once supplemented with the protein of your choice (chicken, fish, shrimp et al) it quickly becomes an integral part of any southeast Asian culinary spread.

So when such a plate of fare was placed before me last week, I left my table manners at the door and found myself in the midst of a feral feeding frenzy. Hurricane Slap currently graced the roadside restaurant and only subsided for brief periods during which obnoxious belches of appreciation would be parted with, much to the horror of my disgusted dining companions.

Upon the cessation of the repast, I cocked a deft buttock, released an abhorrent amount of rectal gas, paid the crook at the counter, bundled aboard my bike, hit the local shop, got tipsy on award winners, and fucked off home to sleep.

It was during this slumber that I began having the most bizarre dreams.

I was caught in a whitewater river of yellow curry, struggling for breath as the torrent kept submerging me again and again. Having managed to weather the rapids, I then found myself in purgatory, and emitting a seemingly never ending burp. Once the burp had finally stopped, my dream shifted focus and this time began to pay attention to my backside which was now convulsing with boisterous twitches.

Jolting to in a cold sweat I began sprinting to the toilet.

Too late.

I simultaneously projectile puked and shit myself on the home straight.

The rest of the day was spent in bed, swearing at random inanimate objects, and swearing revenge on the fucker who hadn't bothered washing their hands before preparing my food.

Savages!

The very sight of this makes me want to use the lavatory.

Necron99 · 04-03-2013, 11:12 AM

There is a southern style fried rice I quite like, can't recall the name of it. Has fresh chopped cabbage and carrot and stuff in it, like rice mixed with dry coleslaw.
Doesn't make me shit myself or paint the walls with puke though.

The Fresh Prince · 04-03-2013, 11:17 AM

When I want a taste of home I have a Beef Masaman on Chips. Also i've started adding potatoes to my Penang curry.

Ozcol · 04-03-2013, 11:17 AM

I hope you made Por clean up the mess, his trusty broom could have worked wonders.

Satonic · 04-03-2013, 11:22 AM

I simultaneously projectile puked and shit myself on the home straight.

Always a pleasant way to start the day

somtamslap · 04-03-2013, 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Necron99

There is a southern style fried rice I quite like, can't recall the name of it. Has fresh chopped cabbage and carrot and stuff in it, like rice mixed with dry coleslaw.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Fresh Prince

When I want a taste of home I have a Beef Masaman on Chips

Found this lovely little eatery in rural Surathani.

I like the way the cook prepared the food on the floor. Those little nuances really do make you realize you live in a massive fucking shithole..

Beautifully presented salad items..

Mock as I might, this was delicious..

somtamslap · 04-03-2013, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ozcol

I hope you made Por clean up the mess, his trusty broom could have worked wonders.

The horrible bastard slept right through it. And I wasn't trying to be quiet.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Satonic

Always a pleasant way to start the day

Worse mate, middle of the night.

Totally sapped of strength for 24 hours..

palexxxx · 04-03-2013, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by somtamslap

mmm... you're making me hungry, I'm off to get some.

somtamslap · 04-03-2013, 11:49 AM

^ That was a while ago. It's 'gaeng' of some description. Tres, tres pet..

withnallstoke · 04-03-2013, 12:03 PM

Before or after??

somtamslap · 04-03-2013, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by withnallstoke

Before or after??

It's entirely up to you..

Dillinger · 04-03-2013, 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by somtamslap

Savages!

Quote:

Originally Posted by somtamslap

I left my table manners at the door and found myself in the midst of a feral feeding frenzy. Hurricane Slap currently graced the roadside restaurant and only subsided for brief periods during which obnoxious belches of appreciation would be parted with, much to the horror of my disgusted dining companions.

Revenge is a dish best served.......... with buffalo shit

Sum Nam na I say

somtamslap · 04-03-2013, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dillinger

Sum Nam na I say

There's no excuse for what they did though, which was to essentially defecate on my diner...

Dillinger · 04-03-2013, 08:58 PM

That pic in the op looks a lot like charleyboys oxtail soup. He removes the anus though

Malicious · 04-03-2013, 09:06 PM

Shuda gorn Hell's Kitchen on their rice gobbling asses.

Rural Surin · 04-03-2013, 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by somtamslap

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dillinger

Sum Nam na I say

There's no excuse for what they did though, which was to essentially defecate on my diner...

You no understand.
Farang.

Wizard of Oz · 04-03-2013, 10:01 PM

How many more times need we read about your "bowel" movements? The (massive?) intake of alcohol had probably nothing to do with it...

Rural Surin · 04-03-2013, 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wizard of Oz

How many more times need we read about your "bowel" movements? The (massive?) intake of alcohol had probably nothing to do with it...

It sells to the popular masses?

yortyiam · 04-03-2013, 11:53 PM

Had some great red and green curries when I stayed at a small resort on Koh Pha Ngan. Never had the sort of problems as poor old Somtam. I'll refrain for mocking his luck, as I'll only put a curse on myself.

.

Camel Toe · 05-03-2013, 12:57 AM

Quote:

I like the way the cook prepared the food on the floor. Those little nuances really do make you realize you live in a massive fucking shithole..

You haven't been to South Korea. They chop vegies on the curbstone. China is no doubt worse.

somtamslap · 05-03-2013, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wizard of Oz

How many more times need we read about your "bowel" movements?

Until I feel that you are ready...

Necron99 · 05-03-2013, 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rural Surin

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wizard of Oz

How many more times need we read about your "bowel" movements? The (massive?) intake of alcohol had probably nothing to do with it...

It sells to the popular masses?

Poop Fiction..

sabang · 05-03-2013, 08:52 AM

I've never had a 'serious' case of the squits in Thailand- touch wood.

Rural Surin · 05-03-2013, 08:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Camel Toe

Quote:

I like the way the cook prepared the food on the floor. Those little nuances really do make you realize you live in a massive fucking shithole..

You haven't been to South Korea. They chop vegies on the curbstone. China is no doubt worse.

Yes. No doubt.

somtamslap · 05-03-2013, 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sabang

I've never had a 'serious' case of the squits in Thailand- touch wood.

Third serious case for me.

First one - mussels at 2am

Second - tap water on a hangover

Third - The dreaded southern curry

The second case was by far the worst. A non-stop 48 hour barrage..

04-03-2013, 10:51 AM	#1 (permalink)
somtamslap splendid and tremendous Last Online: Yesterday 04:00 PM Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 8,362	Southern Thai Fare and Slap I'm rather partial to southern Thai cuisine, in particularly the curries. The aromatic blend of a thousand and one different herbs and spices encased in a rich and creamy coconut milk based soup has one's senses performing enthusiastic cart-wheels towards the source of the fragrant bouquet. The colouration of the dish alone deems it unrivalled in terms of vibrancy, and once supplemented with the protein of your choice (chicken, fish, shrimp et al) it quickly becomes an integral part of any southeast Asian culinary spread. So when such a plate of fare was placed before me last week, I left my table manners at the door and found myself in the midst of a feral feeding frenzy. Hurricane Slap currently graced the roadside restaurant and only subsided for brief periods during which obnoxious belches of appreciation would be parted with, much to the horror of my disgusted dining companions. Upon the cessation of the repast, I cocked a deft buttock, released an abhorrent amount of rectal gas, paid the crook at the counter, bundled aboard my bike, hit the local shop, got tipsy on award winners, and fucked off home to sleep. It was during this slumber that I began having the most bizarre dreams. I was caught in a whitewater river of yellow curry, struggling for breath as the torrent kept submerging me again and again. Having managed to weather the rapids, I then found myself in purgatory, and emitting a seemingly never ending burp. Once the burp had finally stopped, my dream shifted focus and this time began to pay attention to my backside which was now convulsing with boisterous twitches. Jolting to in a cold sweat I began sprinting to the toilet. Too late. I simultaneously projectile puked and shit myself on the home straight. The rest of the day was spent in bed, swearing at random inanimate objects, and swearing revenge on the fucker who hadn't bothered washing their hands before preparing my food. Savages! The very sight of this makes me want to use the lavatory.

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04-03-2013, 11:12 AM	#2 (permalink)
Necron99 Less Interested Last Online: Yesterday 08:48 PM Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Nahkon Sawon Posts: 3,932	There is a southern style fried rice I quite like, can't recall the name of it. Has fresh chopped cabbage and carrot and stuff in it, like rice mixed with dry coleslaw. Doesn't make me shit myself or paint the walls with puke though.

04-03-2013, 11:17 AM	#3 (permalink)
The Fresh Prince Sprayed On Member Last Online: 11-05-2013 10:45 PM Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Not in the willage Posts: 10,767	When I want a taste of home I have a Beef Masaman on Chips. Also i've started adding potatoes to my Penang curry.

04-03-2013, 11:17 AM	#4 (permalink)
Ozcol Member Last Online: Today 07:58 AM Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Isaan Posts: 231	I hope you made Por clean up the mess, his trusty broom could have worked wonders.

04-03-2013, 11:22 AM	#5 (permalink)
Satonic My head hurts Join Date: May 2011 Location: The city of angels, the great city, the eternal jewel city, the impregnable city of God Indra, etc.. Posts: 2,685	I simultaneously projectile puked and shit myself on the home straight. Always a pleasant way to start the day

04-03-2013, 11:49 AM	#9 (permalink)
somtamslap splendid and tremendous Last Online: Yesterday 04:00 PM Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 8,362	^ That was a while ago. It's 'gaeng' of some description. Tres, tres pet..

04-03-2013, 12:03 PM	#10 (permalink)
withnallstoke Wankered on WWJ Last Online: Yesterday 09:51 PM Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: The Felcher Memorial Home. Posts: 9,019	Before or after??

04-03-2013, 08:58 PM	#14 (permalink)
Dillinger Thailand Expat Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 3,632	That pic in the op looks a lot like charleyboys oxtail soup. He removes the anus though

04-03-2013, 09:06 PM	#15 (permalink)
Malicious I am in Jail Last Online: Today 06:58 AM Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: BKK Posts: 576	Shuda gorn Hell's Kitchen on their rice gobbling asses.

04-03-2013, 10:01 PM	#17 (permalink)
Wizard of Oz Member Last Online: 13-04-2013 05:06 AM Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 236	How many more times need we read about your "bowel" movements? The (massive?) intake of alcohol had probably nothing to do with it...

04-03-2013, 11:53 PM	#19 (permalink)
yortyiam Member Last Online: Today 05:02 AM Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: uncertain! Posts: 572	Had some great red and green curries when I stayed at a small resort on Koh Pha Ngan. Never had the sort of problems as poor old Somtam. I'll refrain for mocking his luck, as I'll only put a curse on myself. .

05-03-2013, 08:52 AM	#23 (permalink)
sabang Thailand Expat Last Online: Today 08:06 AM Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: There Posts: 23,423	I've never had a 'serious' case of the squits in Thailand- touch wood.

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