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  1. #1
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Bankrupt at the Beach

    "Well its obviously come down to the fact that you're going to have to sell your arse."

    "Fuck off! I'm not selling my arse! You sell your arse! Your arse is better than mine! Anyone who tries to penetrate my back passage is likely to get lost."

    "I'm not denying it's a touch on the portly side, but as the old adage quite rightly has it, when in Rome...sell your fucking arse."

    " I hardly see how the sale of my anus is going to provide our pockets with funds suitable to sustain the drinking habit we are currently enslaved to."

    "Well let's give up drinking then."

    "Don't be so fucking naive!

    "What's so fucking naive about it?"

    "Have you looked in the mirror recently? You look like a Rutger Hauer after a 10 year Methamphetamine addiction. Do you honestly feel we're in the correct frame of mind to 'give up drinking'?


    My acquaintance's delusions of grandeur irked me.

    " I see no other option. We spent the last of our cash on a tin of sardines and 2 litres of Scotch, you're into several bars and shops for sums vast enough to see you dragged into the jungle and shot in the bollocks, and the incorrigible fucking landlord isn't going to give us back our deposit unless we fix the ceiling fan."

    "You're the fucker who headbutted it! You should've known it wasn't rotating briskly enough for a quick and concise decapitation. Why didn't you just hurl yourself out of an 8 story building like everyone else?"

    "Admittedly, it was one of my lower ebbs."

    "Anyway, what's that bastard landlord doing charging us rent to live in a fucking shed? We may as well sleep on the beach, it's less prone to flooding."


    Times were indeed tough. My acquaintance's attempt at suicide, to be administered by a wheezing ceiling fan, was somewhat more than a cry for help. The situation clearly needed to be immediately altered...


  2. #2
    Thailand Expat poorfalang's Avatar
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    Rubbish!

  3. #3
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    ^Word up, Pedro..

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat

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    What the fuck did I just read ?

  5. #5
    Thailand Expat poorfalang's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    ^Word up, Pedro..
    It's Jose, Twit

  6. #6
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    Weird!

  7. #7
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Slap, the master of controversy..

  8. #8
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    Carry on Slapping, Slap.

    C'mon, where's the next part?

  9. #9
    Thailand Expat klong toey's Avatar
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    You should exploit the bloody tourist stick a sign up,expat pony rides.
    Saddle,bridle and a horse whip your in business get down on all fours and wait for the Germans to show.If they prefer a mare get your woman to saddle up.

  10. #10
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by khmen
    C'mon, where's the next part?
    Mulling over it now. I'm rather inclined towards a beastiality section..


    Quote Originally Posted by klong toey
    expat pony rides.
    Tis an idea.

  11. #11
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    I have an idea where this is heading.

    I have a lawyer on standby.

  12. #12
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    You're in for a severe bollocking, withnall..

  13. #13
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    Get a room, you two.

  14. #14
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
    withnallstoke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WilliamBlake
    Get a room, you two.
    I did, and Lardass broke the fan.

  15. #15
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WilliamBlake
    Get a room, you two.
    Landlord's a twat.

  16. #16
    Thailand Expat Dillinger's Avatar
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    I think he means get a room as in the present tense

  17. #17
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    I don't know what I mean.

  18. #18
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
    withnallstoke's Avatar
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    Get a room in the present tents?

  19. #19
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    Get a heated one... to keep your wigwam.

  20. #20
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
    withnallstoke's Avatar
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    You get one with him.

    I have an ASBO or something.

  21. #21
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    This is all a bit too camp for my liking.

  22. #22
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    Camp as a row of pink tents.

    (That would be continuous tents.)

  23. #23
    Thailand Expat nevets's Avatar
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    This is all a bit intents.

  24. #24
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    Albert Shagnastier's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    You look like a Rutger Hauer after a 10 year Methamphetamine addiction.

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fondles View Post
    What the fuck did I just read ?

    As it pans out it seems it was a lovers tiff between slap and wthnall.

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