It has fairly recently occurred to me that I no longer require to be situated in the middle of a poverty stricken province surrounded by a vibrant selection of perpetually drunken peasants with a predisposition for violent crime and hard narcotic abuse. I'm by no means hesitant to say however that they are all, and I do mean all, extremely respectful whenever graced with my presence - the teenage contingency, who forego the very notion of school in order to pursue their thievery and yabba habits, will invariably offer up a weak wai, but a wai all the same, and refer to me as P'Slap rather than the oft uttered farang or you, which both, like it or not, are totally discourteous. You can of course expect to hear these insolent references in the city, but out in the sticks, fuck that!
The middle aged and older folk are just the same. They never ask me for anything and are always quick to share their wages or the occasional lottery win, and we all end up getting fantastically fucked before falling down and being sick on the floor.
But, and it's a rather big but, one cannot escape the issue that due to fact that education has played not a single part in the majority of their lives to date, it tends to render each and every one of them borderline retards. Retards are great when you're pissed but come the realism of the morning and one seems to become bogged down with a complete lack of mental stimulation.
Hence, in another couple of years or less, just as my sanity has sought the end of its fraying tether, I shall be getting, in layman's terms, the FUCK OUT OF HERE!
All I wanna do is live by the sea
Noel Gallagher's cocaine charged brain cells had it right, back when Oasis were good.
I want a window where I can see a tree, or even water
And Hannibal Lector wasn't far off the mark either with his psychotic babble.
There's something about the sea that I'm unable to put my finger on - as well as the obvious visual stimulation I'm quite sure that the voice of the waves gently mopping the brow of the beach add to at least half of the coastline experience.
You only live once - and I'm going to the fucking beach.
The fucker almost looks edible..