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  1. #1
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    The Country Vs The Coastline

    It has fairly recently occurred to me that I no longer require to be situated in the middle of a poverty stricken province surrounded by a vibrant selection of perpetually drunken peasants with a predisposition for violent crime and hard narcotic abuse. I'm by no means hesitant to say however that they are all, and I do mean all, extremely respectful whenever graced with my presence - the teenage contingency, who forego the very notion of school in order to pursue their thievery and yabba habits, will invariably offer up a weak wai, but a wai all the same, and refer to me as P'Slap rather than the oft uttered farang or you, which both, like it or not, are totally discourteous. You can of course expect to hear these insolent references in the city, but out in the sticks, fuck that!

    The middle aged and older folk are just the same. They never ask me for anything and are always quick to share their wages or the occasional lottery win, and we all end up getting fantastically fucked before falling down and being sick on the floor.

    But, and it's a rather big but, one cannot escape the issue that due to fact that education has played not a single part in the majority of their lives to date, it tends to render each and every one of them borderline retards. Retards are great when you're pissed but come the realism of the morning and one seems to become bogged down with a complete lack of mental stimulation.

    Hence, in another couple of years or less, just as my sanity has sought the end of its fraying tether, I shall be getting, in layman's terms, the FUCK OUT OF HERE!

    All I wanna do is live by the sea

    Noel Gallagher's cocaine charged brain cells had it right, back when Oasis were good.

    I want a window where I can see a tree, or even water

    And Hannibal Lector wasn't far off the mark either with his psychotic babble.

    There's something about the sea that I'm unable to put my finger on - as well as the obvious visual stimulation I'm quite sure that the voice of the waves gently mopping the brow of the beach add to at least half of the coastline experience.

    You only live once - and I'm going to the fucking beach.







    The fucker almost looks edible..

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat
    Takeovers's Avatar
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    When I saw the headline I thought you were referring to the US-Elections.


  3. #3
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Takeovers
    I thought you were referring to the US-Elections.
    Didn't even know they were on.

    Did Reagan win again?

  4. #4
    Fuck it
    Satonic's Avatar
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    That's a nice beach... Is it about 20 mins past Hua Hin?

    I remember visiting a beach there, had a whale skeleton near the car park on show. Had pine trees along the beach, first time I had seen them here.

  5. #5
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satonic
    Is it about 20 mins past Hua Hin?
    Yes mate, that's the one. Haad Suan Son.

  6. #6
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap

    You only live once - and I'm going to the fucking beach.
    well done that man

  7. #7
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    Walking on the beaches looking for the lau khao

  8. #8
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    You only live once - and I'm going to the fucking beach.
    I think Pattaya is the only beach in Thailand renowned for it's fucking

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thetyim

    I think Pattaya is the only beach in Thailand renowned for it's fucking
    didn't realise you lived such a sheltered life .................

    Patong

    Koh Phangan

    plus plus .............

  10. #10
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thetyim
    I think Pattaya is the only beach in Thailand renowned for it's fucking
    Phuket, Samui...the list is endless.


    Quote Originally Posted by corned dog
    Walking on the beaches looking for the lau khao
    Por will be coming with. I'm not leaving him up here to rot under evil curse of the mater in-law.

  11. #11
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    Beaches are hot and boring. Give me mountains any day.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
    Beaches are hot and boring.
    I agree but snorkelling over a coral reef is great.

  13. #13
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
    Beaches are hot and boring. Give me mountains any day.
    Places like Surat combine the two - although yes, considerably hotter down on the peninsula.

    But I shall not be swayed from my move. By the time I hit 40 I'll have a beach side villa and 2 maids. One for each testicle.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Takeovers View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
    Beaches are hot and boring.
    I agree but snorkelling over a coral reef is great.

    right, I like that too, but you wouldn't want to live in a reef

  15. #15
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    The mountains would be fine if you could see the rock, but they seem to be covered in green stuff full of things that want to eat you.

  16. #16
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    ^ ^ What about a reef view? Very pleasant.

    With mountains behind.

  17. #17
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    Follow that dream Mr Slap.Nobody should denied the pleasure of going to sleep to the sound of ocean waves or the joy of sand in your crack after a bout of rumpy pumpy down at the waterline.

  18. #18
    loob lor geezer
    Bangyai's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Takeovers View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
    Beaches are hot and boring.
    I agree but snorkelling over a coral reef is great.
    Maybe , but I'm sure muff diving in the boonies is not without its merits.

  19. #19
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by crocman
    Follow that dream Mr Slap
    It's well in reach. Simply buy a tent and pitch it anywhere after sending the kids off to a cheap boarding school in Laos.

  20. #20
    Thailand Expat OhOh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    Hence, in another couple of years or less, just as my sanity has sought the end of its fraying tether
    Get the books finished and it will be months!

    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke
    full of things that want to eat you.
    Full of things to eat as well, or have you forgotten your cultural heritage?

  21. #21
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    Mate this is down the road from me and i would still rather live in bumcrack thailand.


  22. #22
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    Not all that fussed about being near the ocean, nice to visit every year or so.
    I am just as happy inland.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mozzbie47 View Post
    Not all that fussed about being near the ocean, nice to visit every year or so.
    I am just as happy inland.
    It's a good thing that not everybody likes to live at the beach, would be far too crowded otherwise.

    We bought a place near Cha Am 10 years ago and hope to retire there within 6-8 years. Sure it gets hot down there, but generally the temperature is much more bearable than e.g. in Bangkok due to the (almost) constant breeze. December/January can be effing cold as the wind comes in from the north with quite some force and evening temperature can drop well below 20.

    Can't wait to move there permanently.

  24. #24
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CNF55
    We bought a place near Cha Am
    I'm gonna look for a spot between Petchaburi and Prachuap. Anyone here live in Prachuap or been there for an extended amount of time? If so, tell all...with pics, please. I like the fact it's the narrowest part of the peninsula.

  25. #25
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    I loved my time in Cha Am, only a 20 minute ride to hua hin with the family aboard the scooter too, for when you want some nice food and a shopping mall

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