A Sociopath's Siamese Sabbatical

[Agent_Smith]

Next installment comes with a strong parental guidance warning..

Pity. Had all the makings of fine children's literature...

[somtamslap]

Pity. Had all the makings of fine children's literature...

You'll have to wait for season 5 for bedtime story material.

Season 1 - The Lunatics
Season 2 - The Mafia
Season 3 - The Peados
Season 4 - The Bus Drivers
Season 5 - The Tour Operators

Can anyone say, 'The Wire, eat yer fecking heart out'

[withnallstoke]

Can anyone say, 'The Wire, eat yer fecking heart out'

I just tried several times.
First time my teeth flirted out, second time i drowned the cat.

Still up for a film part?

[Cujo]

Come on Slap, your legion of loyal readers eagerly awaut the next installment (with baited breath).
Has our hero slipped a sly hand up one of the fair maidens skirts and found something he wasn't expecting?

[somtamslap]

Still up for a film part?

You are at present pencilled in as extroverted testicle groping ladyboy 1. Start touching up your make-up, withnall..

[somtamslap]

Has our hero slipped a sly hand up one of the fair maidens skirts and found something he wasn't expecting?

Like I mentioned earlier - the next installment will not be for the weak hearted or squeamish.

[ralphlsasser]

Okay, now try speaking English so we can understand you.

[Cujo]

Okay, now try speaking English so we can understand you.

He's speaking colloquialy and with an accent that even other Englishmen find hard to understand.

[withnallstoke]

Okay, now try speaking English so we can understand you.

He's speaking colloquialy and with an accent that even other Englishmen find hard to understand.

The trick to understanding it is to get inside the writers head.
This can be done easily in 24 hours by simply drinking Lau Kau for breakfast and not stopping for a day.
Recommended minimum intake is at least 3 bottles, and try to avoid solids as they tend to return quicker than they go down.

[somtamslap]

by simply drinking Lau Kau for breakfast

Lau Khao? We poetic types only take Ya Dong, don't you know..

[withnallstoke]

Lau Khao? We poetic types only take Ya Dong, don't you know..

Popping a dead plant into a bottle of lau kau, shaking it up and then drinking it does not a ya dong make.

[DrAndy]

I used to know this Irish guy, had a guesthouse in Luang Prabang

he would go down the local distiller and buy a 5 litre Castrol bottle full of Laokao

he would then decant it into nice bottles and put a handful of herby stuff in it and give out nips to his customers free

they seemed quite impressed by it

[withnallstoke]

^ That's the stuff.
The herbs mask the fact that one is consuming slightly refined petroleum.

[somtamslap]

*Caution - DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T LIKE MINDLESS VIOLENCE*
Edit - too violent..not my style

[Agent_Smith]

Edit - too violent..not my style

With those scruples you won't go far in the American market.

[somtamslap]

With those scruples you won't go far in the American market

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed writing it, but when I read it back it wasn't the kind of message I'm trying to convey here..

[Cujo]

It's more the family friendly thing you're going for is it?

[somtamslap]

It's more the family friendly thing you're going for is it?

Yes, sort of teeteing in between a PG and a 15...and we're well within that bracket thus far..

[Agent_Smith]

^Can you PM me the adult version?

[ralphlsasser]

Okay, now try speaking English so we can understand you.

He's speaking colloquialy and with an accent that even other Englishmen find hard to understand.

I can understand why. BUT, I'm an American and don't have a clue as to what he was saying. SS drunk again?

[somtamslap]

Can you PM me the adult version?

I can't remember what I wrote - but it involved maiming followed by death. This is something I must address before continuing - I think I'm gonna make the hero of the saga a batty boy.

BUT, I'm an American and don't have a clue as to what he was saying.

Can you speak in a Scottish accent? Practice first, spend 24 hours speaking to you friends and family like a pish heed fer Glesgae, then try reading - all should be revealed..

[Cujo]

Thats all very well but we're still waiting to find out what kind of a pickle our hero's got hiself into.

[somtamslap]

Thats all very well but we're still waiting to find out what kind of a pickle our hero's got hiself into.

I agree, the story demands closure, something I will strive to achieve presently..

[OhOh]

Writers block is a fearsome sight. More Ya Dong needed.

[Cujo]

I fear the muse has left our dear somtamslap and moved on to other pastures.