A Sociopath's Siamese Sabbatical

[somtamslap]

Just doing some meditation before I send Sebastian et al to their gruesome fate..

[Breny]

Maybe seb and sidney could meet up with Hugh Jarse for a small Pims and humus. Nice work

[somtamslap]

Maybe seb and sidney could meet up with Hugh Jarse for a small Pims and humus

Different social strata. Sebastian and Sidney only tend to liase with folk of their own ilk or drunkards with hygiene issues. Hugh is more of your man's man.

[Breny]

very good i like your style ,And so does Hugh

[somtamslap]

And so does Hugh

I'll probably write Hugh into season 3. I'm proposing he'll be a bit like The Greek. After gathering his experiences and using his new found wisdom to spearhead shrewd business investments.

[Breny]

Hugh told me that he is looking for a bar in LOS, Failing that he is going to open a library in Isaan with yoda

[OhOh]

Excellent my son, maybe the introduction of a wayward Yankee female might expand the language and the potential sex partners a tad.

Plenty to help with the correct ehm, "expressions" here. It will also help with the "colonial" sale figures.

[Breny]

Actually there is a nice lady from Queens NJ, Hugh has been introduced to i believe her name is "sweet sweet sugar", Maybe they will hit it off? Who knows.

[Agent_Smith]

Will this story end in death and/or marriage?

[OhOh]

More likely a "civil" partnership. "Granny takes a Northern Toy boy" would make a wonderful, heart-warming chapter and get the "Grey" market.

[withnallstoke]

"Granny takes a Northern Toy boy"

That has a nice ring about it.

[OhOh]

A problem I can foresee though is the actor in the proposed film. Who has the wit and repartee along with flawless body and sex appeal of the original character?

We may need to act on the casting for this role soon, if we are to hit the 2012 Christmas opening. It wont be easy to find him, or raise enough money to pay him, as he will be very expensive.

We may need to revert to CGI.

[OhOh]

Will this story end in death and/or marriage?

After watching Jan Dara, to appeal to the Thai audience at least two incestuous relationships, lesbianism and for the ladyboy audience, some cross dressers at least.

[somtamslap]

Will this story end in death and/or marriage?

I suppose it's essentially a love story, so both should feature.

We may need to act on the casting for this role soon, if we are to hit the 2012 Christmas opening. It wont be easy to find him, or raise enough money to pay him, as he will be very expensive.

We'll be using method actors and they'll damn well do it for the love.

[Cujo]

Get busy Slap, the fans await the next installment.

[OhOh]

they'll damn well do it for the love

Or top billing!

[Blake7]

Begbie does bangkok - fantastic work

[somtamslap]

Yon kunt who selled us those specky bangers is lucky he is nay deed, but ahh'd nay like ter be the kunt fronting ehs hospital fees if yer ken. Ah'd jist parked up yon fooking tuk-tuk, yon three wheeler piece of shite with the noisy engine and the fooking handle bars an ah gits ter feelin' a wee bit peckish. Nowt had passed these lups since yon inflight breakfast an ahm noo craving a bit of sus-tan-nance, yer ken, so ahh see this gadge flippin' bangers on the side cart of his motorcycle and ahm like, eye eye, a couple of pork and leek would be jist the tucket, so's ahm up straight up to the kunt.
"Give ahs a couple of them bangers then yer gadge, and do nay be stingy with the broon sauce, ahm a makin' masell clear to yer now?" The boy starts smiling and carries on flippin' like ehs nay heard ma words, so repeat masell..

"TWO PORK AND LEEK SNAGS WI BROON SAUCE, YER DEAF KUNT" Ah shout to the specky radge while ahm stabbing ma sovereign rings towards the sausage on ehs grill.

Ah finally gits ma sausage and stares at them..

"Broon sauce then yer kunt?"

Eh shrugs ehs shoulders, but now yon gadge is pouring some sauce in ma bag a snags so ah'll leave the kunt be fer the now.

Ah takes a nice big bite.

"CAAAAAAAAAAAANT - WAAAAAAAAAAAAA - TARRRRRRRRRRRR"

Ma fooking mooth is flamin' like, ahm runnin' roond the fooking market like a chicken withoot ets heed. Some wide radge sitting cross-legged selling veg starts fooking laffing at me so ah kick her square in the mooth - that'll teach yer ter be such an unsunsative kunt, will it nay.
Ah doose the flames in ma mooth with one ah they bottles of Chang and ahm straight back ter the sausage boy.

"Yer tryin' to kill me then yer specky wideo KUNT!" Ehs snag stand is being held up by a pair a bricks to level it oot, so ah grab one an ram et plum in ehs face. Ehs doon an greeting like a wee bairn, so's ahm telling the radge ter man up before draggin' em up ter ehs griddle an smashing ehs heed intae et.

A wee croowd's gathered so ahm away on ma toes..ah do nay be needin' grief from the boys in blue the night's night, nay nay, most definitely NOAT part of the plan.

An where the fook is that jakey kunt? Ah sent em oot fer more sweeties ages ago..

[somtamslap]

The unlikely threesome of Sebastian, Sidney and the odouress Scottish tourist found themselves being whisked through the unforgiving humidity of a Bangkok night in the direction of all things perverse, perverted and generally 'unsavoury', as Sebastian had remarked upon hearing the description of their eventual destination.

"Ahh youse, likesay, lookin' ter git yers cocks damp?" the tramp had asked them before they hailed the taxi.

"I beg your pardon?" replied Sebastian

"ARE.YOUSE.WANT.IN.A.FEE.MALE?" the dishevelled hobo persevered

"Sidney! Mate! Could you perhaps lend your ear to this fellow because I haven't the foggiest idea of how to interpret the sounds emitting from his mouth, and Fockles, be sure not to get too close, he spits when he speaks, it's ghastly!"

After the tramp had exhausted his vocabulary on the matter he eventually resorted to the use of a selection of idiot-proof hand gestures which immediately piqued the interest of Sidney but left Sebastian with look of scrutinizing disbelief..

"A real life fellating?"

They finally agreed that the red light district of Pat Pong would be the most productive port of call at this late hour, a hankering for alcohol was present in all three parties..

"A real life felating, you say. How facinating!"

[somtamslap]

Ahm sittin' in the fooking allocated meetin' spot, the Pink Pussy Cat they calls et, waitin' fer that jakey kunt to bring meh back ma fooking sweeties, Yabba they calls em, but the radge bastard's bin gon fer fooking 2 hooirs already. Ahh've bin carryin' the kunt for the bist part a the day and see if eh disnae produce the goods then ets goodnight from him if yer ken.
En the mean time, I'm fair hammerin' back these nips a scotch and coke an ahm startin' to git a fookin' reet stonk on. These burds wi tha big tits and the long legs a rubbin' they erses reet up in ma balls and ah've a half a mind ter bottle the bad mannered kunts for givin' us a public boner but when en Rome as they say an ahm dancin' up by the bar with aboot three ov the wee lassies an they cannae get enough of us..
Ah shouts up a round and masell and the three burds awl git stuck into a tray of fooking cocktails. One a yon lassies starts speakin to us..leggy as yer like she ehs, the kunts taller than me, ah do nay mind a bit a that mind, an ahm offering ter bend it over in the bogs an she's acceptin'..of fooking course.

[somtamslap]

Sebastian paid the taxi driver with a crisp thousand baht note and commanded him to keep the change. He was currently in a rather good mood after having been reunited thousands of miles from home with his only friend to speak of, Sidney McFockety or Fockles, and now he appeared to be fortunate enough to be in the proximity of affordable flesh, although he kept his excitement firmly under the flat cap which he never left home without. The cap coupled with a round pair of spectacles and his frail frame gave him a slightly affeminate aura which he was completely oblivious to - may be his delayed decision regarding his sexual nature played part a predominant part of this chosen facade.

He and Sidney followed in the wake of the pungent woft of their newfound friend as they zig-zagged through the hustle and bustle of the red light district which apparently doubled as a flea market of sorts.

Their Scottish companion was now busying his stride nigh-on to the point of jogging as he physically spurned the advances of bikini clad working girls by pushing them forcefully from his path. Sebastian and Sidney were also hindered by such obstacles but not as hasty to remove them.

"Sebastian, should we not just offer our custom to the next establishment we happen upon?" enquired a wheezing Sidney.

"What's the rush, Fockles, we still have a whole parade of venues to negotiate." replied Sebastian, using a hankerchief to pat his brow.

"I've just ejaculated in my pants and wish to use a bathroom to conduct a mop-up!"

"Good grief, Fockles!"

Just as they were about to enter a pub which went by Snatch Busters, the Scottish hobo reappeared and forcibly yanked them from the door.

"There's a better wee bar doon the way, The Pink Pussy Cat, yeh'll dee well ter gi these other places a wide berth yer ken"

Before Sebastian could say "What?" he had grabbed them and pushed them in the direction of a large pink neon lit building at the end of the street, where a fracas appeared to be taking place.

[yortyiam]

Walking straight into a katoey cat fight?

[somtamslap]

Walking straight into a katoey cat fight?

Something along those lines. Next installment comes with a strong parental guidance warning..

[yortyiam]

^ Bloody job too Somtamslap! Never seen such fury in my life. Keep up the good work btw. Cheeers.

[Beautiful World]

^Same here, well done that man...the beginnings of a book maybe?
Begbie does Bangkok...?