Page 195 of 195 FirstFirst ... 95145185187188189190191192193194195
Results 4,851 to 4,859 of 4859

Thread: Quick Jokes

  1. #4851
    Thailand Expat jabir's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    8,463
    My wife said I should grow up. I was speechless. It's hard to say anything with 45 gummy bears in your mouth.

  2. #4852
    Member
    harrybarracuda's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Last Online
    Today @ 01:50 AM
    Posts
    59,113
    Q: How do you milk a sheep?

    A: Put an Apple logo on your products.

  3. #4853
    Member
    Mendip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Last Online
    Today @ 04:40 AM
    Location
    Korat
    Posts
    357
    My wife was trying to be sexy last night, she lay on the bed sucking a lollipop, then she started slowly sliding it in and out of her pussy, I said 'Steady love, you'll need that to see the kids across the road in the morning.'

    My next door neighbour just confronted me about items missing from her washing line, I nearly shit her pants!

    Ten Catholic priests are killed in a car accident and arrive at the pearly gates. St Peter says "Ok, if any of you are paedophiles, go to hell." Nine of them start walking away. St Peter says "Aye, and take the deaf fucker with you!"

    My new girlfriend said I have to wait six months before she'll suck my cock. I told her I totally understand and respect her decision and I'll give her a call then.

    I thought I heard my next door neighbour's shagging last night, there was lots of moaning and banging on the floor and wall, it turns out her elderly mother had fallen in the bedroom and was trying to attract my attention with her stick. I feel really guilty about that wank now!

  4. #4854
    Member
    harrybarracuda's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Last Online
    Today @ 01:50 AM
    Posts
    59,113
    While the wife was in the kitchen cooking breakfast I suddenly heard a loud thud. Running in I found her collapsed on the floor & not breathing. I was in a blind frenzy, I had no idea what to do.
    Then I remembered, Wetherspoons do an all day breakfast for just 3.99.

  5. #4855
    Custom user
    Neverna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Behind a rhododendron bush
    Posts
    17,050
    The wife has been missing for a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I've been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.

  6. #4856
    Member
    Mendip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Last Online
    Today @ 04:40 AM
    Location
    Korat
    Posts
    357
    Russell, the Aussie gay, goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run.

    The doctor comes back and says, 'Russell, I'm not going to beat around the bush. You have AIDS.'

    Russell is devastated. 'Doc, what can I do?'

    'Eat 1 curry sausage,
    1 head of Cabbage,
    20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce,
    10 Jalapeno Peppers,
    40 walnuts and 40 peanuts,
    1/2 box Of All Bran,
    And top it off with a litre of prune juice..'

    Russell asks bewildered, 'Will that cure me, Doc?'

    Doc says 'No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your ARSE is for.'

  7. #4857
    PAG
    PAG is offline
    Thailand Expat
    PAG's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Last Online
    Yesterday @ 09:21 PM
    Location
    Chalong, Phuket
    Posts
    2,112

  8. #4858
    Newbie

    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Last Online
    15-07-2019 @ 05:43 PM
    Posts
    27
    The John wayne loo roll its long and tough as grit and dont take no shit from no injun

  9. #4859
    Member
    harrybarracuda's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Last Online
    Today @ 01:50 AM
    Posts
    59,113
    Why don't chinky kids believe in Santa Claus?


    Because they make all the toys.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 4 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 4 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •