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Missismiggins

AFP - Friday 23rd October.

Thai Airways, the National Airline of Thialand has put forward plans to completely revamp it's position, and clear it's debt within 2 years.

Thai airways, the Nationally owned carrier, is currently in debt to the tune of 160 Billion Baht, has come forward with proposals to reduce this debt, and even return the once "esteemed" airline back to profit.

The new president - Piyasvasti Amranand said that there were 3 major steps that the airline needed to take in order to become profitable.

Step 1: Mr. Amranand stated that the airline was about to adopt the American method of accounting, with a slight adjustment, in the future, all Thai airways accounts would reflect the US system E.B.I.T.D.A (Earnings Before Interest Taxation Deductions Adjustments) (Commonly known in most other countries as EARNINGS BEFORE BULLSHIT!)

HE proposed that EBITDA be replaced by EBITDA/CP (where CP would account for Corrupt Practice) making it easier to prepare the BULLSHIT.

Then he made it clear, that as the airline was a National Carrier, it therefore "belonged" to the people. Only now he said that as Thai Airawys liked to think of the majority of the people being owners, he would prefer it if the majority of Thais "owned" it, especially first time share holders, who would make millions.

"For once, the poor farmers of Thailand have the oportunity to own majority shares in this great airline, never before have they been allowed to own such a great company, soon they will see how wealthy they can be by buying into (compulsory) this fine National Flagship.

Step 2 of Mr. Amranands' plan involved COMPULSORY Village Fund Burial insurance against each and every Thai Airways Passenger, whether foreign or domestic.

This meant that should an aeroplane crash, every citizen ( or poor farmer) would need to provide 125 Baht for every fatality on board, as is customary in most poor villages in Thailand when someone dies.

Step 3 of Mr. Amranands plan involved recruitment of a large number of elderly Japanese pilots, along with some Saudi Arabians, and possibly Afghans.

He assured everyone that these pilots would "compliment the international flavour of the airline"

Special fares are about to be announced in the coming weeks in Europe and USA, "Fly Thai for a dollar" which he expected would be taken up by thousands of eager tourists.

He also announced that Thai Airways Engineers had found an "amazing" new fuel saving device, whereby the aircraft was able to become airborne from any major city, with less than 10% of the normal fuel load.

"It's the way back to profit for all of us on the board, and our brothers and sisters and our Army generals" he said - at last, we will have cash in out pockets again!

Rural Surin

Realistically, how can a government underwrite and control an airline and be working in the red? Doesn't this principle contradict itself....?? If Thai Airways were a entirely private/independent venture, they would have gone belly-up years ago - as it is with almost all carriers worldwide. They 'receive' government subsidies or government holding of some sort or another - overwhelmingly. I find these ideals of government being in 'business' {worldwide}, a foul one. Commercial airlines....not one could turn a buck if it weren't for their respective government handouts. Less concerned with profit-making....

__________________
WESTERN CIVILISATION....???

DaffyDuck

This would come as a surprise to a lot of commercial airlines -- of course, look who we're talking to...

Sometimes it's okay to take off the tinfoil hat.

Happyman

With less than 10% 0f normal fuel load ?????
Maybe just enough to do a couple of circuits of the airport and land !i



That sums it up to perfection - greedy bastards!!

Muadib

Missismiggins

Don't laugh, my local village is in tears, 8 fuckers have gone and died in the last couple of weeks - 8 x 125 = 1/2 a months pay!

They seem to forget the Bhuddist feelings when they have to cough up the cash!!

At the minute here, it's like "FUCK!!!! Another 125 Baht" and not, "May they Rest In Peace"

Spin

Virgin Atlantic have never had a carrot from the Uk government and are profitable.

Rural Surin

Fair enough. Exception to the rule. I believe VA has also worked under receivership/bankruptcy reorganisation throughout it's history - not terribly independent.

Missismiggins

It would be nice to believe that an airline could make money, but as far as I see it is the road to hell, give Virgin a year, then see what happens, like all those other airlines, the Irish one....it seems like an industry doomed to failure, sad, and I hoped I am proven wrong!

Spin

I've never heard or read about this.



Nothing, Virgin Atlantic, under Richard Branson, who is more or less a fcuking magician when it comes to running a business properly will have no problems at all.

If they were going to be in trouble, it would have happened by now.

Muadib

If Virgin Atlantic were in trouble, I don't think they would be sponsoring a F1 team this year and looking to purchase one for next season... Not to mention the revamping of the UK rail system, their StarShip 1 efforts, etc...

crippen

Virgin Atlantic will make loss this year
Decline in business traffic means Virgin Atlantic, and other longhaul airlines, will make loss this year
guardian.co.uk, Tuesday 26 May 2009 19.33 BST


Virgin Atlantic will slip into a loss this year after warning that no longhaul airline will make a profit in 2009 because of a decline in business traffic – the main source of profit for transatlantic carriers.

"No network airline is going to make a profit this year because they are all facing their toughest-ever market. There is not enough confidence out there, in the business market especially, and airlines are having to cut their prices to record lows," said a Virgin Atlantic spokesman.

Last week, British Airways announced a record pre-tax loss of £401m, with the slump in business traffic exacerbating losses caused by high fuel costs and the weak pound.

Virgin Atlantic announced a pre-tax profit of £68.4m in the year to February 28, up from £34.8m in the same period last year, but analysts cautioned that the figures were pushed into the black by a £68m gain in operating income from the airline's dollar-denominated cash balances.

The airline, which is privately-owned by Sir Richard's Virgin group and Singapore Airlines, did not publish full profit and loss accounts today.

Analysts said Virgin Atlantic's prediction of a loss this year reflects its similarities with BA, although the smaller airline is more exposed to the less depressed leisure market.

Virgin Atlantic, whose destinations include New York, Barbados and Sydney, carried 5.8 million passengers last year compared with 33 million at BA.

"These results show that the operating performance is not dissimilar to BA's," said Andrew Lobbenberg, analyst at Royal Bank of Scotland.

"Virgin Atlantic must be suffering because it trades in the same markets as BA. But it has less exposure to the financial services sector and is stronger in longhaul leisure, which is holding up better than the overall market."

Virgin Atlantic's results were flattered in comparison with BA's because its year-end, in February, allowed the airline to avoid putting March in its figures.

A dire March contributed to BA's £401m loss, with more than three-quarters of that deficit being booked in the three months since January.

Premium passengers are a vital revenue source for longhaul airlines such as Virgin Atlantic. BA relies on the front of the cabin for more than 50% of its revenues – more than close rivals Lufthansa and Air France.

Premium air travel across the industry fell by 19% in March, according to the International Air Transport Association, with revenues from front-of-the-cabin customers falling by between 35% and 40% since the start of the year.

The north Atlantic route, which accounts for a quarter of all turnover generated by premium tickets worldwide, declined by 16.8% in March.

However, Europe's two largest low-cost carriers, Ryanair and easyJet, are expected to post profits in the next financial year.

The airline market is currently dire and the IATA has predicted that global passenger traffic will fall 5.7% this year, with revenues falling by 12% as airlines hold down fares to compete for a smaller customer base.

Despite cost-cutting measures including a 6% reduction in capacity, the industry is expected to record a loss of $4.7bn (£3bn) this year.

However, the plummeting oil price will at least ensure that the airlines' deficit is less severe than the $8.5bn loss they posted last yearview-source:Virgin Atlantic will make loss this year | Business | guardian.co.uk