The Thailand Forum

The Thailand expat forum for Travel, Lifestyle and Fun.


Advertise here!

Forum Home Donate Arcade Chat Room Gallery Blog Mark Forums Read
Go Back   TeakDoor.com - The Thailand Forum > Banal Banter > The TeakDoor Lounge > Jokes and funny stories
Home Register TD Links FAQ Members List Calendar Weather Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Jokes and funny stories The section for all the zany and humorous stuff. Post your favourite jokes and funniest pictures here, also videos from youtube etc can be posted here.

TeakDoor Hosting   Advertise on TeakDoor   

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 15-10-2009, 12:26 AM   #1 (permalink)
Jet Gorgon
Jihad Barbie
 
Jet Gorgon's Avatar
 
Last Online: Yesterday 04:50 AM
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Near Libbies
Posts: 12,470
Jet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand Expat
Craig's List Personal Ad

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 09-27-09, 1:43 A M EST.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on my girlfriend and me, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment when I drew my pistol after you took my Jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening.

Obviously you agree that it is a very Intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, wasn't it?

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from bare footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other people's in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what's going on with that?

Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number, etc).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you. . . but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.

Thoughtfully yours,
Alex
P.S. Remember this motto. An armed society makes for a more civil society!
Jet Gorgon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-10-2009, 12:42 AM   #2 (permalink)
Marmite the Dog
ผู้เชี่ยวชาญเปล่า
 
Marmite the Dog's Avatar
 
Last Online: Yesterday 07:43 PM
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Simian Islands
Posts: 30,329
Marmite the Dog Thailand ExpatMarmite the Dog Thailand ExpatMarmite the Dog Thailand ExpatMarmite the Dog Thailand ExpatMarmite the Dog Thailand ExpatMarmite the Dog Thailand ExpatMarmite the Dog Thailand ExpatMarmite the Dog Thailand ExpatMarmite the Dog Thailand ExpatMarmite the Dog Thailand ExpatMarmite the Dog Thailand Expat
Where was that? Chad?
Marmite the Dog is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-10-2009, 01:12 AM   #3 (permalink)
lom
#&§~
 
lom's Avatar
 
Last Online: Today 12:08 AM
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Dark side of the room
Posts: 5,158
lom Thailand Expatlom Thailand Expatlom Thailand Expatlom Thailand Expatlom Thailand Expatlom Thailand Expatlom Thailand Expatlom Thailand Expatlom Thailand Expatlom Thailand Expatlom Thailand Expat
Conclusion:

If your gonna rob someone you'd better shoot him first in case he carries a concealed gun.
lom is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 15-10-2009, 01:15 AM   #4 (permalink)
Jet Gorgon
Jihad Barbie
 
Jet Gorgon's Avatar
 
Last Online: Yesterday 04:50 AM
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Near Libbies
Posts: 12,470
Jet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand Expat
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog View Post
Where was that? Chad?
Yep, Savannah, Chad
Jet Gorgon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-10-2009, 06:54 AM   #5 (permalink)
Bobcock
Llandewi Brefi's Finest
 
Bobcock's Avatar
 
Last Online: 20-11-2009 08:44 PM
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 4,074
Bobcock Thailand ExpatBobcock Thailand ExpatBobcock Thailand ExpatBobcock Thailand ExpatBobcock Thailand ExpatBobcock Thailand ExpatBobcock Thailand ExpatBobcock Thailand ExpatBobcock Thailand ExpatBobcock Thailand ExpatBobcock Thailand Expat
So...it's an advert for the NRA..... Yee haa
Bobcock is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-10-2009, 06:58 AM   #6 (permalink)
kingwilly
Senior Member
 
kingwilly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 33,728
kingwilly has disabled reputation
Send a message via MSN to kingwilly
This email forward should be put into jokes section, or are you gonna claim you know him Jet?
kingwilly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-10-2009, 07:01 AM   #7 (permalink)
helge
Thailand Expat
 
Last Online: Today 12:18 AM
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,118
helge Thailand Expathelge Thailand Expathelge Thailand Expathelge Thailand Expathelge Thailand Expathelge Thailand Expathelge Thailand Expathelge Thailand Expathelge Thailand Expathelge Thailand Expathelge Thailand Expat
^And where are we now ?
helge is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 15-10-2009, 07:08 AM   #8 (permalink)
kingwilly
Senior Member
 
kingwilly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 33,728
kingwilly has disabled reputation
Send a message via MSN to kingwilly
.
kingwilly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-10-2009, 08:16 AM   #9 (permalink)
Marmite the Dog
ผู้เชี่ยวชาญเปล่า
 
Marmite the Dog's Avatar
 
Last Online: Yesterday 07:43 PM
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Simian Islands
Posts: 30,329
Marmite the Dog Thailand ExpatMarmite the Dog Thailand ExpatMarmite the Dog Thailand ExpatMarmite the Dog Thailand ExpatMarmite the Dog Thailand ExpatMarmite the Dog Thailand ExpatMarmite the Dog Thailand ExpatMarmite the Dog Thailand ExpatMarmite the Dog Thailand ExpatMarmite the Dog Thailand ExpatMarmite the Dog Thailand Expat
Them's the risks you take when you live in a third world country.
Marmite the Dog is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-10-2009, 01:37 PM   #10 (permalink)
Jet Gorgon
Jihad Barbie
 
Jet Gorgon's Avatar
 
Last Online: Yesterday 04:50 AM
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Near Libbies
Posts: 12,470
Jet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand Expat
Quote:
Originally Posted by kingwilly View Post
.
Not laughing at you KW, just the three post punch and your honesty. Green bullets on the way for you and Helge. Hey, H, where the hek are those baby girl photos? Hogging her all to yourself are you?
Jet Gorgon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-10-2009, 02:40 PM   #11 (permalink)
kingwilly
Senior Member
 
kingwilly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 33,728
kingwilly has disabled reputation
Send a message via MSN to kingwilly
yeah yeah yeah. I know. No point being wordy about it.
kingwilly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-10-2009, 02:51 PM   #12 (permalink)
slackula
Thailand Expat
 
slackula's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Phuket
Posts: 1,304
slackula Thailand Expatslackula Thailand Expatslackula Thailand Expatslackula Thailand Expatslackula Thailand Expatslackula Thailand Expatslackula Thailand Expatslackula Thailand Expatslackula Thailand Expatslackula Thailand Expatslackula Thailand Expat
True or not it is easily the most coherent thing dear Jet has posted recently.



/so at least we know she didn't write it herself
slackula is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-10-2009, 03:04 PM   #13 (permalink)
Mid
Nautical Member
 
Mid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 13,315
Mid Thailand ExpatMid Thailand ExpatMid Thailand ExpatMid Thailand ExpatMid Thailand ExpatMid Thailand ExpatMid Thailand ExpatMid Thailand ExpatMid Thailand ExpatMid Thailand ExpatMid Thailand Expat
knife , gun , bazooka ?

my dads tougher than your dad
Mid is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-10-2009, 07:54 AM   #14 (permalink)
Jet Gorgon
Jihad Barbie
 
Jet Gorgon's Avatar
 
Last Online: Yesterday 04:50 AM
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Near Libbies
Posts: 12,470
Jet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand Expat
Quote:
Originally Posted by slackula View Post
True or not it is easily the most coherent thing dear Jet has posted recently.



/so at least we know she didn't write it herself
Turdy-poo.
Jet Gorgon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-10-2009, 07:59 AM   #15 (permalink)
helge
Thailand Expat
 
Last Online: Today 12:18 AM
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,118
helge Thailand Expathelge Thailand Expathelge Thailand Expathelge Thailand Expathelge Thailand Expathelge Thailand Expathelge Thailand Expathelge Thailand Expathelge Thailand Expathelge Thailand Expathelge Thailand Expat
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jet Gorgon
Hey, H, where the hek are those baby girl photos? Hogging her all to yourself are you
Ok, one more time for me and Prince Canute; where was that 'amazing babies' thread ?
helge is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 16-10-2009, 10:19 AM   #16 (permalink)
Jet Gorgon
Jihad Barbie
 
Jet Gorgon's Avatar
 
Last Online: Yesterday 04:50 AM
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Near Libbies
Posts: 12,470
Jet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand ExpatJet Gorgon Thailand Expat
^ Living in Thailand, the bladdy family room.
Jet Gorgon is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Register Forum Home Donate FAQ Members List Calendar


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


All times are GMT +7. The time now is 12:22 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.12
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.0.0
Copyright ©2005 - 2009 by TeakDoor.com
Page generated in 0.32068 seconds with 20 queries