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a. boozer · 29-06-2009, 08:55 AM

A Blonde arrived in Heaven and a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. 'I'm sorry,' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of blondes and we have been forced to set an Entrance Exam for new applicants to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.'

'That's cool' said the blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?'

'Just three questions' said St Peter.

'Which are?' asked the blonde.

'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T' '? The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year?' The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.'

So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same).

The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.'

'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?'

The blonde said, 'Today and tomorrow.'

St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.

'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?'

The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!'

'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?'

'Easy,' said the blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.'

St Peter looked at the blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his head.

A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.'

'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?'

'It's Andy.'

'Andy?'

'Yes, Andy,' said the blonde.

This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?'

'Easy' said the blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited ‘til his billy boiled.'

And the blonde entered Heaven...

What's worse, I bet you are now singing it to yourself!

Thetyim · 29-06-2009, 11:15 AM

^
Shit, I was only trying to see if the words fitted nicely

Jet Gorgon · 01-07-2009, 05:12 AM

Love it.

Panda · 01-07-2009, 07:03 AM

....

kelantan · 07-07-2009, 02:21 PM

I need to start thinking like a Blonde.....

a. boozer · 08-07-2009, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kelantan

I need to start thinking like a Blonde.....

But, do they think?

crippen · 08-07-2009, 11:33 AM

Don't know the song at all.

29-06-2009, 08:55 AM	#1 (permalink)
a. boozer Thailand Expat Last Online: Today 10:08 AM Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Ban Chang, Rayong Posts: 1,440	Blonde Reasoning A Blonde arrived in Heaven and a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. 'I'm sorry,' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of blondes and we have been forced to set an Entrance Exam for new applicants to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.' 'That's cool' said the blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?' 'Just three questions' said St Peter. 'Which are?' asked the blonde. 'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T' '? The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year?' The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?' 'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.' So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same). The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.' 'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?' The blonde said, 'Today and tomorrow.' St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question. 'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?' The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!' 'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?' 'Easy,' said the blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.' St Peter looked at the blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his head. A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?' The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.' 'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?' 'It's Andy.' 'Andy?' 'Yes, Andy,' said the blonde. This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?' 'Easy' said the blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited ‘til his billy boiled.' And the blonde entered Heaven... What's worse, I bet you are now singing it to yourself!

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29-06-2009, 11:15 AM	#2 (permalink)
Thetyim ssshhhhh Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Mousehole Posts: 14,628	^ Shit, I was only trying to see if the words fitted nicely

01-07-2009, 05:12 AM	#3 (permalink)
Jet Gorgon Jihad Barbie Last Online: Today 04:50 AM Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Near Libbies Posts: 12,470	Love it.

01-07-2009, 07:03 AM	#4 (permalink)
Panda Thailand Forum Last Online: Today 02:20 PM Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 4,997	....

07-07-2009, 02:21 PM	#5 (permalink)
kelantan Chiang Mai Last Online: 10-11-2009 10:18 AM Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 12	I need to start thinking like a Blonde.....

08-07-2009, 11:33 AM	#7 (permalink)
crippen Thailand Expat Last Online: Today 01:49 PM Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Korat Posts: 1,461	Don't know the song at all.

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