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Shagpile Perm · 27-06-2006, 07:06 PM

Victoria Beckham takes her car into a garage to have some dents removed. The mechanic knowing she isn't the brightest girl in the world, decides to play a joke on her. "You don't need me to take those dents out," he says. "Just blow up the exhaust pipe and the metal will pop back into place", he says.

So she takes the car home and tries it. David spots her from the house and shouts "You silly cow! You have to wind the windows up first!"

I'll get my coat...

Dougal · 27-06-2006, 08:56 PM

I don't usually do Beckahm jokes - but as it's you....

Mr & Mrs Beckham arrived back from New York after their holiday and got a taxi into London.

The cabbie was delighted at taking the celebrated pair and was keen to hear how their hols had gone so he naturally asked them how they enjoyed themsleves.

"It was great" said David "we ate at a fantastic restaurant last night."

"What was it called?" said asked cabbie.

"Dunno. I can't remember" replied David. "Tell you what, name some big London railway stations."

"Umm" says the cabbie "Paddington, St Pancras, Waterloo, Victoria"

"Yeah that's the one" shouts David. "Ere Victoria what was the name of the restaurant we were in last night?"

Butterfly · 27-06-2006, 09:01 PM

didn't know you guys had those jokes on the famous pair. Are they that dumb ?

NickA · 27-06-2006, 09:02 PM

Do Spice Girls shit in the sink?

Goddess of Whatever · 27-06-2006, 09:05 PM

Maybe it's because I'm Thai, I don't get these jokes.

Shagpile Perm · 27-06-2006, 09:11 PM

^ Victoria Beckham is famous for her lack of intelligence, David somewhat less so.

NickA · 27-06-2006, 09:15 PM

^Less intelligent???

Shagpile Perm · 27-06-2006, 09:17 PM

^ Less famous.

Butterfly · 27-06-2006, 09:26 PM

I would still fuck her though but it would have to be dirty sex. She is one nasty bitch.

Shagpile Perm · 27-06-2006, 09:28 PM

^ She is a little on the slim side, but has a wonderful set of breast implants to make up for it.

Storekeeper · 28-06-2006, 09:40 AM

She kinda reminds me of a plain jane version of Paula Abdul.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shagpile Perm

^ She is a little on the slim side, but has a wonderful set of breast implants to make up for it.

jizzybloke · 29-09-2007, 05:53 AM

Agree with Sir Burr it really looks masculine!

Sir Burr · 28-06-2006, 04:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Butterfly

I would still fuck her though but it would have to be dirty sex. She is one nasty bitch.

Is that because she looks like a katoey?

NickA · 27-06-2006, 09:29 PM

^That's high praise in anyone's book, Bfly, I'm sure she'll be happy to hear that.

Butterfly · 27-06-2006, 09:49 PM

Dirty Sanchez on her would be great.

Jerrys · 28-06-2006, 03:35 AM

I'm trying very hard to understand the humor from the UK.... Very different!

Shagpile Perm · 28-06-2006, 06:04 PM

David Beckham is celebrating: "57 days, 57 days!" he shouts happily.
Posh asks him why he is celebrating. He answers: "Well, I've done this
jigsaw in only 57 days." "Is that good?" asks Posh. "You bet," says
David. "It says 3 to 5 years on the box."

peterpan · 28-06-2006, 10:31 PM

I can remember that joke in different forms from 20 years ago.

Shagpile Perm · 28-06-2006, 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by peterpan

I can remember that joke in different forms from 20 years ago.

How can that be, David would have been about 9 years old at the time.

a. boozer · 25-09-2007, 05:04 PM

Victoria Beckham was being driven around the countryside in her limo.
Suddenly a cow walked into the road and, unable to stop in time,
the limo hit the cow. Slightly shaken up, the driver went to see if
the cow was alright.

"Is it alright?" asked Victoria Beckham.

The driver prodded the cow with his foot and shook his head. "No
ma'am, it's dead."

"Well you were driving, so you can go tell the farmer what happened!"

So the driver went off to the nearby farm. A couple of hours later he
came back holding a bottle of wine, his clothes scruffy and messed
up.

"Oh my god, what happened to you?" Victoria exclaimed.

"Well ma'am," explained the driver, "the farmer gave me this bottle
of wine, the farmer's wife gave a kiss and their daughter made love
to me."

"Just what the hell did you say to them?"

"I'm Victoria Beckham's driver and I've just killed the cow."

27-06-2006, 07:06 PM	#1 (permalink)
Shagpile Perm Rayong Last Online: 29-06-2006 07:04 PM Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 211	Victoria Beckham Victoria Beckham takes her car into a garage to have some dents removed. The mechanic knowing she isn't the brightest girl in the world, decides to play a joke on her. "You don't need me to take those dents out," he says. "Just blow up the exhaust pipe and the metal will pop back into place", he says. So she takes the car home and tries it. David spots her from the house and shouts "You silly cow! You have to wind the windows up first!" I'll get my coat...

27-06-2006, 08:56 PM	#2 (permalink)
Dougal Dis-member Last Online: 09-11-2009 11:16 PM Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Head Rock Posts: 4,044	I don't usually do Beckahm jokes - but as it's you.... Mr & Mrs Beckham arrived back from New York after their holiday and got a taxi into London. The cabbie was delighted at taking the celebrated pair and was keen to hear how their hols had gone so he naturally asked them how they enjoyed themsleves. "It was great" said David "we ate at a fantastic restaurant last night." "What was it called?" said asked cabbie. "Dunno. I can't remember" replied David. "Tell you what, name some big London railway stations." "Umm" says the cabbie "Paddington, St Pancras, Waterloo, Victoria" "Yeah that's the one" shouts David. "Ere Victoria what was the name of the restaurant we were in last night?" __________________ Lord, deliver us from e-mail.

25-09-2007, 05:04 PM	#20 (permalink)
a. boozer Thailand Expat Last Online: Today 09:56 AM Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Ban Chang, Rayong Posts: 1,440	Victoria Beckham - another tale. Victoria Beckham was being driven around the countryside in her limo. Suddenly a cow walked into the road and, unable to stop in time, the limo hit the cow. Slightly shaken up, the driver went to see if the cow was alright. "Is it alright?" asked Victoria Beckham. The driver prodded the cow with his foot and shook his head. "No ma'am, it's dead." "Well you were driving, so you can go tell the farmer what happened!" So the driver went off to the nearby farm. A couple of hours later he came back holding a bottle of wine, his clothes scruffy and messed up. "Oh my god, what happened to you?" Victoria exclaimed. "Well ma'am," explained the driver, "the farmer gave me this bottle of wine, the farmer's wife gave a kiss and their daughter made love to me." "Just what the hell did you say to them?" "I'm Victoria Beckham's driver and I've just killed the cow."

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27-06-2006, 09:01 PM	#3 (permalink)
Butterfly Suspended Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 16,917	didn't know you guys had those jokes on the famous pair. Are they that dumb ?

27-06-2006, 09:02 PM	#4 (permalink)
NickA This is not my avatar Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 11,389	Do Spice Girls shit in the sink?

27-06-2006, 09:05 PM	#5 (permalink)
Goddess of Whatever A bladdy woman Last Online: 29-04-2009 06:13 PM Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Somewhere I belong but it won't be last long Posts: 4,273	Maybe it's because I'm Thai, I don't get these jokes.

27-06-2006, 09:11 PM	#6 (permalink)
Shagpile Perm Rayong Last Online: 29-06-2006 07:04 PM Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 211	^ Victoria Beckham is famous for her lack of intelligence, David somewhat less so.

27-06-2006, 09:15 PM	#7 (permalink)
NickA This is not my avatar Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 11,389	^Less intelligent???

27-06-2006, 09:17 PM	#8 (permalink)
Shagpile Perm Rayong Last Online: 29-06-2006 07:04 PM Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 211	^ Less famous.

27-06-2006, 09:26 PM	#9 (permalink)
Butterfly Suspended Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 16,917	I would still fuck her though but it would have to be dirty sex. She is one nasty bitch.

27-06-2006, 09:28 PM	#10 (permalink)
Shagpile Perm Rayong Last Online: 29-06-2006 07:04 PM Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 211	^ She is a little on the slim side, but has a wonderful set of breast implants to make up for it.

29-09-2007, 05:53 AM	#12 (permalink)
jizzybloke Special Member Last Online: Today 10:42 AM Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 4,598	Agree with Sir Burr it really looks masculine!

27-06-2006, 09:29 PM	#14 (permalink)
NickA This is not my avatar Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 11,389	^That's high praise in anyone's book, Bfly, I'm sure she'll be happy to hear that.

27-06-2006, 09:49 PM	#15 (permalink)
Butterfly Suspended Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 16,917	Dirty Sanchez on her would be great.

28-06-2006, 03:35 AM	#16 (permalink)
Jerrys Bang Tao Beach Last Online: 27-05-2008 10:11 PM Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: So. Ca. USA and Sihounkville Cambodia Posts: 14	I'm trying very hard to understand the humor from the UK.... Very different!

28-06-2006, 06:04 PM	#17 (permalink)
Shagpile Perm Rayong Last Online: 29-06-2006 07:04 PM Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 211	David Beckham is celebrating: "57 days, 57 days!" he shouts happily. Posh asks him why he is celebrating. He answers: "Well, I've done this jigsaw in only 57 days." "Is that good?" asks Posh. "You bet," says David. "It says 3 to 5 years on the box."

28-06-2006, 10:31 PM	#18 (permalink)
peterpan Limp member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Pleasantville Posts: 6,051	I can remember that joke in different forms from 20 years ago.

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