don's report archive
by
Donald B. Ardell, Ph. D.
Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)
More On The Case for Bemused Skepticism: Fellatio and Breast Cancer Prevention
Thursday November 6, 2003
Yesterday, I wrote about bemused skepticism. I suggested the wellness profession needs new tools, new approaches and new wellness promoters--and that the greatest of all needs in terms of programming is to help people learn "how to think and make wise decisions, not just on health issues but on all matters of life." I urged wellness promoters to integrate critical thinking lessons, or what I call "bemused skepticism" (BS!), into their worksite and other programming.
Well, my timing was terrific. The next day, I innocently sent out my usual mix of articles and other materials via E-mail to a wide assortment of friends and colleagues. One article was a CNN Online story entitled "Fellatio May Significantly Decrease The Risk Of Breast Cancer In Women." Well, not an AUTHENIC CNN article, but it was presented framed in the exact format used by CNN. The title alone would signal anyone that this was pure fun, not to be taken seriously. However, given the power of wishful thinking mixed with a heavy dose of credulity and naiveté, there was a chance that some might actually believe it. Still, there were "red flags" of sorts all over the place (especially within the story.) Some of the researchers had unlikely names like "Dr. B.J. Sooner," "Dr. Inserta Shafteer," "Dr. Len Lictepeen." Come on--who besides Pat Robertson or Jerry Falwell is going to get his knickers in a twist (or whatever happens to knickers when someone gets flummoxed) or be fooled into thinking this obvious parody had any basis in fact or was anything but an obvious parody for laughs? Even without the giveaway names, however, a touch of bemused thinking would have made it clear that the article was bogus. In the event you are unfamiliar with the spoof, here are some "research" highlights from the article.
- Women who perform the act of fellatio and swallow semen on a regular basis, one to two times a week, may reduce their risk of breast cancer by up to 40 percent, a North Carolina State University study found.
- In a study of over 15,000 women SUSPECTED of having performed regular fellatio and swallowed the ejaculatory fluid, over the past ten years, the researchers found that those actually having performed the act regularly, one to two times a week, had a lower occurrence of breast cancer than those who had not.
- "I think it removes the last shade of doubt that fellatio is actually a healthy act," said Dr. A.J. Kramer of Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, who was not involved in the research. "I am surprised by these findings, but am also excited that the researchers may have discovered a relatively easy way to lower the occurrence of breast cancer in women."
- "Only with regular occurrence will your chances be reduced, so I encourage all women out there to make fellatio an important part of their daily routine," said Dr. Helena Shifteer, one of the researchers at the University. "Since the emergence of the research, I try to fellate at least once every other night to reduce my chances."
- "There's definitely fertile ground for more research. Many have stepped forward to volunteer for related research now in the planning stages," he said.
This story had reached the rank of number two in the "Urban Legends Top 25" by the end of October, and it was less than a month old at that time. Any bemused skeptic could have checked with the varied "legends" websites, such as Snopes.com, and confirmed immediately that this wasn't a real CNN page (or Associated Press article), nor did North Carolina State University perform a study on the connection between fellatio and breast cancer.
In this case, unlike most urban legends, the author is known--Brandon Williamson, a junior at North Carolina State University (NCSU.) He sent out the tale after crafting it to appear to be an authentic CNN.com article. Naturally, he soon heard from CNN that the network was not amused, and that he could save himself a world of trouble by ceasing and desisting from spreading the hoax any further. Of course, by then the story had gone global--and half the guys in the universe had suddenly become avid champions of breast cancer prevention.
Falling for an urban legend, at least for a short time, is no big deal--except for the fact that your friends might think you're an idiot! The real downside is that if you believed this, you might fall for something else, something not meant simply to entertain. Falling for some hoaxes, from penile extenders to get rich schemes to cults that want you to turn over your assets, might cost you big time, financially and otherwise. That is why we need more wellness promoters as BS educator, that is, teaching the nature and applications of bemused skepticism.
In any event, take steps so that you are not easily fooled. Do a bit of objective questioning, wait for additional information before making any commitments and try to remember that sound conclusions logically follow from accurate premises. As suggested yesterday, look for independent confirmation of alleged "facts," seek out alternate points of view, search for many hypotheses explanations, insist upon specificity and avoid any rush to embrace claims and assertions. As you hear so often, be suspicious when something sounds too good to be true. That's a tipoff that it probably isn't.
If you are good at BS and able to enjoy a good urban legend without taking it seriously, and if you enjoyed the tale linking fellatio and breast cancer prevention, you might be even more amused by a "study" (legend) entitled "Ogling Breasts Makes Men Live Longer." It is only #22 on the Urban Legends hit parade, but then it has been around for three years. You can enjoy it at the
Urban Legends website.
Be well and look on the bright side of life.
