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Dalton · 30-09-2007, 09:16 PM

I have been thinking about BG statement "educated beyon your intelligence" and I couldent get it to make sense, until I saw this.

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are

things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now

published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while

these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

______________________________ ______________________________ ________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

______________________________ __________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you

forgot?

______________________________ __________________

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that

morning?

WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan.

______________________________ __________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his

sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

______________________________ __________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.

______________________________ __________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Are you shittin' me?

______________________________ __________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Uh... I was getting laid!

______________________________ __________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get

a new attorney?

______________________________ __________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?

______________________________ __________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

______________________________ __________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition

notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

______________________________ __________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead

people?

WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like

to rephrase that?

______________________________ __________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go

to?

WITNESS: Oral.

______________________________ __________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an

autopsy on him.

______________________________ __________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?

______________________________ __________________

--- And the best for last: ---

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a

pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you

began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive,

nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and

practicing law.

blackgang · 30-09-2007, 09:39 PM

Yes, but it is fairly easy to figure,
Anyone can have an education, has nothing to do with intelligence..

But a few have real intelligence, has nothing to do with education.

Intelligence brought humans out of the trees and brought us to where we are today, if we were all stupid we would still be monkeys.

DrB0b · 30-09-2007, 10:07 PM

Dalton, excellent examples of sarcasm. Thought that'd drag the morons out of the woodwork and, lo and behold ^
Sad thing is he'll never understand just why his response makes him look like an idiot

stroller · 30-09-2007, 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dalton

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an

autopsy on him.

Classic!

Thaddeus · 01-10-2007, 12:50 AM

True story... this happened to my best friend in the UK (he's a Barrister, he has his own wig and gown, very imposing)

He was acting in the defence and at a crucial stage the prosecution asked for more time as a vital piece of paper had failed to be delivered by the courier service they were using.

He said ..... "fax it up"

The Judge said "yes it does really"

30-09-2007, 09:16 PM	#1 (permalink)
Dalton Mea-Culpa Last Online: 01-08-2009 12:16 AM Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: In the sticks. Posts: 7,451	Educated beyond your Intellegence I have been thinking about BG statement "educated beyon your intelligence" and I couldent get it to make sense, until I saw this. These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ______________________________ ______________________________ ________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ______________________________ __________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ______________________________ __________________ ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan. ______________________________ __________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ______________________________ __________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one. ______________________________ __________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? ______________________________ __________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Uh... I was getting laid! ______________________________ __________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ______________________________ __________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it? ______________________________ __________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? ______________________________ __________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________ __________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that? ______________________________ __________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral. ______________________________ __________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him. ______________________________ __________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________ __________________ --- And the best for last: --- ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

30-09-2007, 09:39 PM	#2 (permalink)
blackgang Thailand Travel Forum Last Online: Today 09:58 PM Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Phetchabun city Posts: 13,354	Yes, but it is fairly easy to figure, Anyone can have an education, has nothing to do with intelligence.. But a few have real intelligence, has nothing to do with education. Intelligence brought humans out of the trees and brought us to where we are today, if we were all stupid we would still be monkeys. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Did you know the average male is 6 inches long, and the average female is 8 inches deep? So in New York City alone there is over 3 miles of unused pussy! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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30-09-2007, 10:07 PM	#3 (permalink)
DrB0b PONT.MA.TRIB.POT.COS.IMP. Last Online: Today 07:01 PM Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Cursus Honorum Posts: 6,345	Dalton, excellent examples of sarcasm. Thought that'd drag the morons out of the woodwork and, lo and behold ^ Sad thing is he'll never understand just why his response makes him look like an idiot

01-10-2007, 12:50 AM	#5 (permalink)
Thaddeus Kanchanaburi Last Online: 07-04-2009 10:39 AM Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Thaddy Shack Posts: 186	True story... this happened to my best friend in the UK (he's a Barrister, he has his own wig and gown, very imposing) He was acting in the defence and at a crucial stage the prosecution asked for more time as a vital piece of paper had failed to be delivered by the courier service they were using. He said ..... "fax it up" The Judge said "yes it does really"

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