Thread: The Monkey

guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. He then jumps onto the pool table and grabs the 8 ball. To everyone's amazement, he sticks it in his mouth, and somehow swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
No, what?"
He just ate the 8 ball off my pool table... whole!"

Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything in sight. Sorry! I'll pay for the 8 ball and stuff."

The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff
the monkey ate and leaves.

Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.

Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?"

The customer say "no what?"

Barman says "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled them out, and ate them!"

Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to shit that 8 ball out,he measures everything first."

nice...